Wicked Attraction Read online

  She let him, putting a knee on the bed between his legs. She didn’t let him pull her down on top of him, though. She took the time to stare at him, drinking in the sight. “I love you, you know.”

  “I know.” Ewan propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand still linked with hers. “I love you, too.”

  Nina sat on the edge of the bed, holding his hand. The other went to his thigh, feeling the warmth and the muscles bunching as he also sat up. She drew in a breath. She opened her mouth to tell him how happy she was.

  Brief but all-encompassing blackness spread over her vision for a split second before fading, leaving a haze of red in the edges of her view. Nina blinked, trying to force it away. She would not panic, she thought, even as she heard herself making a series of low, gasping sighs. As though from far away, she heard Ewan saying her name, but her mouth had gone so dry she couldn’t answer.

  She hadn’t gone blind and yet focusing on him had become so difficult that she closed her eyes. She drew in breath after breath, feeling his calming hands on her. Ewan murmured her name. His hand stroked over her hair as he pulled her against him so they could face each other on the bed, their limbs entangled. Nina pressed her face to his so that she could feel his breath against her skin.

  The minutes passed, and at last she dared to open her eyes. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, although Ewan’s shocked expression told her before she even sat up to go look in the mirror over the dresser that something was amiss. Her left eye was completely threaded with crimson. Shaking, Nina put both hands flat on the dresser. From behind her, Ewan put his arms around her.

  “Let me call the doc,” he said. “Please.”

  She nodded after a moment, knowing in her gut that it wasn’t going to make a difference. She looked at the floor of her bedroom. The boxes, overflowing with clothes, shoes, hats, gloves, jewelry.

  “What is this?” she asked, confused for a second or so before a pinprick of a memory returned to her. She couldn’t recall receiving the boxes or opening them, although surely she must have. She did, however, remember that Katrinka had sent them. “I mean . . . let’s get rid of this.”

  “Later,” Ewan urged. “Let’s take it easy right now.”

  She didn’t want to take it easy. She wanted to kick the boxes, punch them, she wanted to burn all the clothes. But none of that would help her or make a difference in what was going on inside her head. Nothing much could do that.

  But at least she had Ewan, Nina thought as he turned her around for a soft kiss. At least there was that.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  A few short weeks ago, Ewan would have said he might never be truly contented again in his life. Now, waking every morning with Nina in his bed, he couldn’t imagine ever being happier. Everything that had happened between them hadn’t gone away of course—it wasn’t that simple. There were still times when he caught her looking at him when she thought he didn’t notice, mostly after they’d made love and they were drifting to sleep. The expression on her face was inevitably thoughtful, a little difficult to interpret. Always beautiful.

  She hadn’t had any glitches in the past week or so, and the doc he’d called to come check her out had found nothing out of the ordinary, but that worried Ewan more than if they’d come back with a bunch of diagnoses. He’d been working hard with Katrinka toward planning the events that would support the change in the legislation, along with working even harder on writing the new language that needed to get to all the right government officials. The sooner they could get this turned around, the faster he could help Nina. Of course, he was also working on the upgrades themselves so that when the time came, there’d be no waiting to implement them.

  If it took much longer, he was going to insist she allow him to give her the upgrades before it was legalized. If she demanded they be given to all of her peers, he’d see that happen, too, but he wasn’t going to watch her deteriorate in front of him when he could stop it. The problem was, of course, that he’d done such a good job in restricting the ability to do anything with the original tech that he was having a hard time working on it himself. All of his original work had been burned in the fire, or he’d destroyed it.

  Bothering him, also, was the way she seemed convinced that her stormy emotional array was tied to the degrading tech. It wasn’t something he’d programmed, but he hadn’t been the one to actually implement the tech into the fifteen soldiers. It was, however, something he intended to fix in her.

  Nina hadn’t brought it up again. If she’d been suffering any highs or lows, she hadn’t mentioned it. Ewan suspected she was quietly keeping her fears to herself so that he didn’t get too anxious. She’d been doing her share of work, too. Lots of outreach. Viddy interviews. Meetings. She’d taken to the tasks with full enthusiasm and skill, even if she protested that she wasn’t very good at it.

  “We make a good team,” she told him now as she closed the lid of her laptop and stretched. “I got requests for three more presentations. They want you, too. The power couple.”

  Ewan smiled. “Maybe we’ll get another set of photos in the gossip stream.”

  “Oh, sure, and that reminds me, I have to finish up my interview about my thoughts on kitten heels versus flats,” Nina replied dryly. “I’m having a tough time deciding which I like better. Oh, wait. I’m having a tough time giving a good onedamn about it.”

  Ewan laughed. “Make something up. It’s silly, but it puts eyes on you. Us.”

  “Yes. I know.” She stretched again, gesturing toward him. “Come here and kiss me. I’ve missed you this morning.”

  He did, gladly, and savored her sweet, fresh flavor. “Mmm. This is much more fun than an interview about shoes. Here. I got you something.”

  “This is too much, Ewan,” Nina protested when he handed her the carefully wrapped box that had been delivered a short time ago. “You have to stop showering me with gifts.”

  Ewan rolled his eyes. “Pfft. Open it.”

  “I mean it,” Nina told him but set the box on the low coffee table in front of the couch so that she could toy with the ribbon. She let her fingers stroke over it and looked up at him with a slow smile. “You’re going to spoil me.”

  “If I can’t spoil you, what’s the point?” He sat on the chair across from her, hands steepled under his chin to watch her open the gift.

  She didn’t open it. She touched the ribbon again, then looked at him with that same expression, only this time she was clearly not hiding the fact that she was studying him. “None of this is about the gifts or spending money, Ewan. You know that.”

  He started to make a joke, but stopped himself. “It makes me feel good to treat you to things, Nina. I know it can’t make up for what I did, but—”

  “This is what I mean.” Nina cut him off. She tapped the box again. She patted the couch beside her until he moved to sit there. She turned to face him. “I don’t want to you keep trying so hard.”

  He’d been leaning to kiss her, but now he sat back. “I don’t understand.”

  “I love you, Ewan,” Nina said. “I want to be with you. I want this to work.”

  “I want this to work, too,” he said, unsure of what she was getting at.

  Nina smiled. “I don’t need you to keep trying to prove it, I guess. It makes me . . . uncomfortable.”

  Now he really didn’t understand. “You don’t like presents?”

  “I like presents. Sure. On my birthday. For anniversaries, or holidays. And yes, sure, occasionally a surprise gift now and then can be great. But I feel like all this is too much. I feel like you’re trying hard to prove to me that you love me . . .”

  “I am trying to prove it,” Ewan said.

  Nina sighed and shook her head. She took his hands. “In the past couple weeks, you’ve spent thousands of dollars on trinkets and baubles for me.”

  “I bought you things I thought you’d like,” he answered, stung at her assessment.

  “I do like them. But I don’t need them.