Naked Read online

  “Huh. Really? Why now, all of a sudden?” In all the time I’d known her, Sarah had always been such a free spirit, definitely more a “Flesh for Fantasy” than a “White Wedding” sort of woman.

  “It’s not all of a sudden. I’m just freer about admitting it. I don’t want to be in a nursing home when my kids are in college, you know?”

  “I know. And I’m older than you, so shut up.”

  “Yeah,” Sarah said, “but you have a boyfriend.”

  The emphasis she put on the word split my mouth into an inappropriately huge grin. I stifled it, but she saw. She poked my plate with her chopsticks, but grinned, too.

  “You liiike him,” she teased.

  “What’s not to like?” I said in my mother’s voice. “He’s very pretty. He’s got a job, sort of, but even if he doesn’t, he’s got money. He’s a good dresser. Great kisser. Anyway, it’s only been a couple days. Too soon to make it into anything it’s not.”

  “Don’t forget great lay,” she added, and poured more tea for us both. “You ordering takeout?”

  “Yes.” I pulled the menu toward me and held up the teeny tiny pencil as I looked over the list. “He is a great lay.”

  “Well, there you have it. All the makings of a great relationship.”

  I sighed and checked off an order for three sushi rolls and a couple sashimis. “Yeah…well. The boyfriend thing. It didn’t work out so well for me before.”

  “Pffft. Wasn’t your fault. Now, not having a boyfriend since then? Your fault.”

  “I’ve had…”

  “Ah, ah,” she said. “You’ve had a couple fuck buddies, and you’ve had dates. But no boyfriend.”

  I swirled my chopsticks through the dots of soy sauce on my plate, making letters. “Yeah. Well…I don’t know if I want him to be my boyfriend. Once bitten and all that.”

  Sarah didn’t tease this time. “You can’t let what happened with Patrick scare you off men forever.”

  “Alex fucks guys.” I said it flatly, but quietly, so nobody else would hear. “I saw him getting head from a guy at Patrick’s Chrismukkah party.”

  “What?” Sarah’s shriek echoed around the restaurant. “What the fuck? You didn’t tell me that!”

  I shrugged uncomfortably. “I didn’t tell him I saw. It was dark. They didn’t know I was there.”

  She paused. “Was it hot? God, I bet that was really, really smoking hot.”

  “Sarah,” I said with annoyance. “Focus.”

  “Sorry.” She shrugged, a typical Sarah move. “Bunny, all this means is that you like a little gay in your guy. Nothing wrong with that. You said yourself he’s great in bed, and he’s really into you.”

  I sighed again, anxiety I’d managed to tamp down before now rearing up in my throat. “What if it’s not just a little gay?”

  “Honey. He rocked your world and made you come so hard you saw fireworks. A gay man doesn’t do that. I mean, a totally gay dude doesn’t.”

  “Patrick—”

  She cut me off. “It was never like that with Patrick. Unless you told me a lie. A bunch of lies. Don’t forget, Bunny, I’ve sat with you through more than a few too-many-margaritas nights.”

  This was undoubtedly true. “No. It wasn’t like that with Patrick.”

  “The sex was nonexistent, and he lied to you. Sounds to me like you’re ahead by two already with Alex.”

  I thought back over every word we’d ever shared, me and Alex. Every nuance. “No, well, he hasn’t lied, exactly…”

  “Have you asked him if he’s into dudes?”

  “No.”

  Sarah spread her fingers, eyes wide. “So? Are you gonna?”

  “I don’t know. What do I do if he says yes?”

  “Olivia, baby, honey. Sugar muffin—”

  I broke into laughter. “Stop.”

  Sarah grinned. “Poopsie.”

  I slapped my forehead. “You’re too much.”

  “Bunny, I am not enough.” She preened and dissolved into laughter herself.

  “Seriously. What do I do if he says yes?”

  “Same stuff you’ve been doing with him, I guess. You already know he’s okay with getting head from a guy. Which, by the way, I’m still sure was totally hot.”

  I finished the last of my tea and waited for the server to set down my take-out carton of sushi and hand me the bill before I answered. “It was. But that was before I knew I’d be sleeping with him. It’s different now. I guess I have a hang-up.”

  “Who’d blame you?” Sarah looked sympathetic. She could be unflinchingly honest, but she was also the best friend I’d ever had. The best female friend, anyway.

  “Patrick says he fucked him. He’s all bent out of shape about me being with Alex—”

  “Wait up.” She held up a hand like a stop sign. “You told Patrick before you told me?”

  “He was pissed off because we were spending time together, and because we kissed on New Year’s Eve…”

  “What? Wait!” Sarah frowned. “You didn’t tell me that, either. You’ve been holding out on me!”

  “You,” I said, “didn’t tell me about that last great lay you had.”

  She puffed a breath that blew her bangs off her forehead. “Okay. Fine. Whatever. So did you tell Alex you not only saw him getting head from some dude, but that Patrick said they fucked?”

  “No.”

  “You’d better. If he admits it, then you have it out there between you. If he doesn’t, you know he’s a fucking liar and you cut your losses and get out while you still can.”

  “I don’t want him to be a liar.” The words caught in my throat, sticky like rice.

  “Bunny, of course you don’t. Just ask him. You’ll feel better. Do it like a Band-Aid, just rip it off and get it over with.”

  “I should go,” I said, catching sight of the clock. “Speaking of my own work. I’d like to actually do some, since I have to be at my other job the rest of the week.”

  “Foto Folks, photos of your mamas. Photos of your papas.” Sarah sang the theme song from the company’s superannoying commercial. “Pictures of fat ladies in tiaras and feather boas. Pictures that make you want to hurl!”

  “Nice. Thanks. That’s my livelihood you’re mocking.”

  “Not forever. You’ll be out of that place in a few months. I feel it. You’ll have so much business you won’t be able to handle all of it.”

  “From your mouth to God’s ears,” I said as I got up and counted out the cash, plus tip, to cover the food.

  Sarah gave me a funny look, her head tilted. The light flashed on her multiple earrings, and in this light, her hair looked black, not dark blue and purple. “You been talking to your mom?”

  I hadn’t, not for a long time. Too long. But I’d been thinking about her a lot lately, from small things. Odd things, like the pepperoni pizza. “No. I should call her. Patrick tried to guilt me into it, but…”

  “Oh, Patrick can fuck himself,” Sarah said darkly. “Bunny, you know I love you, but that boy has got to step back.”

  I blinked, surprised at her vehemence. “What brought that on?”

  She stood, gathering her coat and bag from the back of the chair. “I thought you were pissed at him. I’m on your side.”

  “Well, I am pissed off at him.” We wove through the tables that had been empty when we came in, but now had plenty of customers. “I just wonder why you are.”

  In the sunlight outside, on the sidewalk, Sarah turned and gave me a sudden, hard hug. “I’ve always been pissed off at him. I just pretend otherwise for your sake.”

  I’d known she didn’t like him, but this was news. I hugged her back, then looked at her face. “Why?”

  “Because…” Sarah sighed. “Oh, Liv. Why do you think? Because I love you. You’re my friend. Why else would I put up with him, unless it’s for your sake? I sort of hoped…”

  “What?”

  Sarah shrugged, but looked me in the eye. “I sort of hoped you’d be do