Naked Read online

  “Olivia! How are you?” Father Matthew blinked behind his thick glasses. His hair stood up all over his head and he looked as if he should be in bed.

  “Fine, Father, how are you? Got a cold?” The box in my hand felt as if it might catch on fire any second. I gave myself a mental slap to the forehead for thinking I didn’t need a shower before making the ten-minute trip to the store.

  Behind me, Alex snorted laughter. He’d been fooling around just a moment before, comparing the brands and trying to do a price per orgasm comparison. I didn’t dare look at him.

  Father Matthew blinked, his voice like a foghorn. “Oh, yes, a pretty bad one. I won’t shake your hand.”

  He looked over my shoulder at Alex and then back at me, clearly expecting an introduction.

  “Um, Father Matthew, this is my…friend, Alex Kennedy.”

  “Nice to meet you, Father. I won’t shake your hand, either.”

  The priest laughed, then sneezed and fumbled in the pocket of his heavy coat for a handkerchief. He honked into it and sighed. “Nice to meet you, Alex. I should get going. I want to go home and get into bed.”

  “Sounds like a great idea,” Alex said, and if stepping on his foot wouldn’t have been so obvious, I’d have stomped him into silence.

  As it was, I put on a fake, bright smile and kept the condoms tucked close to my side. “Sorry you don’t feel well, Father. Get better soon.”

  “Oh, thank you. And, Olivia, you know you’re always welcome to come back to Mass.” Father Matthew grinned and his gaze dropped momentarily to the box in my hand before he flicked his gaze to Alex. “Both of you could come. Are you Catholic, Alex?”

  “Yes, Father, as a matter of fact.”

  Surprised, I turned to look at Alex, who’d put on a choirboy smile.

  “With a name like that, I was pretty sure you were. Come to Mass,” Father Matthew said. “We’d be happy to see you there. Happy New Year!”

  He didn’t push it more than that or wait for an answer I knew would probably be a lie, anyway. I liked him for that. I’d liked him when I went to church, too. It was the rest of it I didn’t care for.

  As Father Matthew ambled off toward the pharmacy, Alex pulled me against him so he could nuzzle my ear.

  “Wow, I haven’t had a close call like that since I was in high school.”

  I laughed and turned to poke him in the chest. “What happened in high school?”

  “I was in the drugstore buying rubbers when my mother showed up in the next aisle. She wasn’t buying rubbers, thank God. Epsom salts.” He shuddered, then imitated a woman’s voice. “‘A.J., what are you doing here?’”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “I said I was buying bubble gum.”

  “And she believed you?” I laughed.

  He shrugged. “She didn’t ask any questions. That’s all I cared about.”

  I studied the box in my hand, then tossed it into the basket he held. “Let’s get out of here before the rabbi shows up. Do we need anything else?”

  Alex grinned. He hooked another box of condoms off the rack and tossed it in. Then a bottle of silicone lube. The big one. I raised a brow.

  “Let’s hit aisle four,” he said.

  “What’s in aisle four?”

  “Snacks,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “You think we’ll need…snacks?” I had to try hard to keep a straight face.

  “I think you’re going to need to keep your strength up,” he told me with another smile that shot a bolt of liquid excitement right between my thighs. “Definitely.”

  He waited until we were back in his car before he asked me about the priest. “Do you go to church a lot?”

  This was a conversation that would take a lot longer than ten minutes. “Not really,” I said anyway.

  “Huh.”

  I looked at him. “Huh, what? Do you go to church? Or were you telling Father Matthew a lie about being Catholic?”

  He laughed. “No, I wasn’t lying. If you call being born a Catholic, raised a Catholic and confirmed a Catholic being Catholic.”

  “But you’re not, now?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not anything now.”

  “Huh,” I said.

  Alex glanced at me, his mouth still curved in a smile. “What did you tell me before? It’s complicated. But really, Olivia, it doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

  I watched the fields turn to houses. In another minute he made the turn down the alley and into the lot behind my building. I picked at a piece of lint on my gloves. “I don’t know what I am.”

  Alex turned off the car and twisted in his seat to face me. “Well, that’s okay, too.”

  He kissed me when we got in the back door. It was the same place he’d kissed me the night before, still as cold, just brighter in the daylight. Alex was warm, though. Mouth and hands. The bags crushed between us.

  “I have to go upstairs first. I want to take a shower,” I said.

  His eyes flashed in the light from the windows facing the street. “Do you want me to come up?”

  Did I?

  I faltered at the question, thinking of spending another few hours on his futon in the middle of his living room with the full light of day doing nothing to hide anything I might want hidden. My bedroom had dim, soft and romantic lighting and a nice comfy bed. It was also my bedroom, and I’d never had a lover in it. Somehow, that seemed to make all of this suddenly more intimate. More important.

  “No?” he asked.

  He was perceptive, scarily so. Why did he seem to see every thought I ever had, while I could only guess at his? I shook my head.

  “It’s not no, it’s just…I won’t take long. I’ll come back down. Okay?” A kiss was supposed to soften the words, but I couldn’t tell if it had or if he was just that good at faking. I thought maybe the latter.

  “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

  I nodded and left the bags with him. In my apartment I closed my eyes, but could see only his face, the way he looked when he came. Deep, gray eyes, unreadable. His smile.

  I lifted my arm and ran my nose along it from the elbow to my wrist. I could smell him on me. Taste him on my lips. My heart skipped, my thighs squeezed together involuntarily, and I actually made a sound of longing.

  I wanted Alex. It didn’t matter about anything else. My reasons. His. I’d meant what I told him about not wanting to regret, but now I understood I hadn’t quite meant that, exactly.

  I was sure I would regret this, sometime.

  I simply didn’t care.

  He’d left the door open, just as he’d promised. I knocked, anyway, before I swung it open. I peeked around it, suddenly nervous and not knowing what I’d see. Naked Alex, waiting for me? I could only hope.

  He wasn’t naked, but his wet hair showed he’d showered, too. I’d put on a pair of jeans and an oversize button-down shirt over a cute camisole top. He wore jeans, too, and a pink button-down shirt with a very frayed hem. He hadn’t tucked it in or even buttoned it all the way, and I got to see quite a bit of flesh as he turned from the counter, where he’d been setting out a bowl of pretzels.

  “You’re going to feed me again?”

  “Strength, Olivia. I told you.”

  My mouth and throat went dry. It’s one thing to know how to be a modern woman, full of confidence in her sexuality and totally okay with the casual fuck. It’s another to actually be that woman.

  “We should talk about something first, though,” he said seriously, before I could reply.

  “Uh-oh.” I shook my head and took a step backward. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  He didn’t let me escape. He took my hand and led me to the futon, where the sheets and blankets and pillows were all tidied. We both sat. He didn’t let go of my hand. He turned it over in his and traced the lines on my palm until I shivered. Then he looked at me.

  “We don’t have to do this.”

  It was the last thing I’d expected to hear. I almost