The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes Read online

  ‘One of the beanbag chairs sprung a leak. I tried to fix it with duct tape, but I think it’s dead. He has green eyes, Mare. He’s like-’

  Dreama hoisted herself up on the counter and smacked into the stack of DVDs, and Mare, her hands full of receipts, caught them with her mind, blipping down them mentally to hold each one separately, trying to dampen any little blue sparks so Dreama didn’t see. She shot a glance at Dreama, who was still talking, all Jude Green all the time.

  Okay, then, Mare thought and let go of the DVDs. She looked at the stack with pride: she was getting good. It had taken years of practice, but now with concentration, she could stack DVDs with her mind almost as well as with her hands.

  God, she had the suckiest power in the family.

  Mare realized that Dreama had stopped talking and was smiling past her, swinging her legs against the counter and biting her lower lip. Mare turned around.

  Ah, yes, the VP Smooth gleaming blond hair. Glistening deep green eyes. A broad curving smile. All aimed at her, dressed in a very expensive charcoal-gray suit and very ugly green tie, topped off with a silver tie tack that gleamed almost as brightly as his teeth. Gimme a raise, Pretty Boy.

  ‘Miss O’Brien?’ the vision said. ‘Ciao! I’m Jude Green, vice president in charge of sales for Value Video!!’ He took in her coveralls and faltered a little, evidently expecting more tailoring and less Anti-Pesto from his assistant managers.

  Ciao? ‘Nice to meet you, Jude.’ Mare shook his hand. It was a little damp, but not completely offputting. ‘So, you’re from Italy?’

  He nodded. ‘Originally from France, but then we migrated to Italy. Just over the border.’

  ‘Oh, you’re French,’ Dreama said, practically swooning.

  He looked at Mare’s overalls again, shook his head, and then soldiered on. ‘I’d like to talk to you.’

  ‘I’ll just go check that beanbag chair.’ Dreama boosted herself off the counter, grinning like an idiot.

  Mare smiled at the VP but before he could say anything, Brandon Upshot, the O’Briens’ paper boy, came up to the counter with a girl who looked familiar, which wasn’t unusual. Everybody looked familiar in Salem’s Fork. What didn’t look familiar was Brandon looking nervous. Brandon could hit the front porch with the daily paper dead center, eyes closed, while riding his bike no hands, just like magic. Brandon had nerves of steel.

  Brandon looked like he was going to throw up.

  First girlfriend, Mare thought and told the VP ‘With you in a minute.’ She smiled at Brandon. I’m Queen of the Universe and I’ve got your back, babe. Calm down.

  ‘We’d like to reserve the love seat for the nine o’clock show,’ the girl said, a giggle in her voice, and Brandon blushed.

  ‘Let me check.’ Mare pulled out the clipboard that listed the seating available. ‘For the nine o’clock, the big couch is gone and the two La-Z-Boys, and all the beanbag chairs, but amazingly yes, the love seat is available and is now yours for the nine o’clock showing of The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Excellent choice, Brandon.’

  The girl looked at him with new respect. People knew Brandon. Brandon was somebody.

  Brandon got calmer.

  The VP moved closer.

  Watch and see how the pros do customer service in Salem’s Fork, Ciao-hound. Mare smiled at the girl. ‘Do I know you?’

  ‘I’m Katie Rose,’ the girl said. ‘My mom works at the bank with your sister.’

  ‘Oh, sure, Linda Rose, right?’ When Katie nodded, Mare said, ‘Good to see you again, Katie.’ She handed the clipboard to Brandon. ‘Write your name and Katie’s and your phone number right there.’ She pointed at the blank space for the love seat sign-up.

  Brandon took the pencil with nervous fingers, and Mare saw it start to roll out of his loose grasp. She froze it long enough for him to get a grip on it and begin the serious business of writing his name and Katie’s together on the same line, then she glanced at Katie. She was smiling at Brandon, adoration in her eyes.

  I used to smile at Crash like that, Mare thought, and then evicted Crash from her mind to glance back at Jude Green. He was watching her, not the customers. So much for his interest in public relations. ‘So you’re a vice president,’ she said to him, folding her arms and leaning back against the counter. ‘What brings you to Salem’s Fork?’

  Jude moved a little closer. ‘We understand you had a disturbing event this week.’

  ‘Disturbing?’ Mare said, thinking, Oh, hell, William. ‘I don’t recall anything disturbing. There’s never anything disturbing here. We don’t do disturbing. Everything’s under control.’ My control. Gimme a raise and go away.

  A sulky boy came up to the counter and shoved Brandon aside to drop Girls Gone Wild Cleveland in front of her. ‘Great flick,’ the boy said to Mare. He nudged the tall kid who’d followed him to the counter. ‘It’s got naked chicks in it. Topless.’

  He looked back at Mare as if to say, How about that, baby? and she picked up the DVD to sign it out, repressing the urge to smack him upside the head with it since Jude Green was standing right there. The VP was stifling her flair. Another good reason to become queen of Value Video!!: stomp out all that flairstifling.

  ‘Cool. Naked chicks,’ the other kid said. Mare squinted at him. He looked to be a junior in high school. One of the Bannisters. They all had those noses that turned up at the end like elf shoes.

  Mare ran the rental automatically while she tried to figure out Jude Green’s angle – why would he care about William and the rope? – and kept an eye on the sulky kid.

  ‘You’re coming back here to see a puppet movie?’ he said to Brandon. ‘Chick flick. Guess she picks out the movies, huh?’

  Brandon flushed, Katie stepped closer to him, and Mare gritted her teeth.

  Jude Green was still watching. Not a good time to take steps with a customer.

  ‘Whipped,’ the sulky boy said to Brandon.

  On the other hand, Mare thought, this is my universe.

  ‘You,’ she said to the sulky boy, handing him his credit card receipt. ‘Sign that. And you,’ she said, turning to the younger boy. ‘What’s your name?’

  ‘Algy Bannister,’ the tall kid said, looking wary.

  ‘Algy.’ Mare leaned forward. ‘Before you now are two possibilities, two paths you may take. One is represented by your buddy here’ – she jerked her thumb at the sulky boy -’the guy with the boobs-and-butts movie. The other is represented by Brandon, the one coming back to see Wallace and Gromit solve The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. You understand the choice that lies before you, grasshopper, a choice that could determine your future happiness and satisfaction?’

  ‘Hell, yes,’ Algy said, and reached for Girls Gone Wild.

  Mare slammed her hand down on it, making Jude jump. ‘One thing to consider. This guy you’re with…’ She looked at the sulky boy’s Value Video!! membership card. ‘Shawn. Shawn is going home with you tonight to watch this video, right?’

  ‘Right,’ Algy said, confused.

  ‘But Brandon is going to be sitting on a love seat tonight with his arm around Katie.’

  Algy looked over at Katie, now linking her hand through Brandon’s arm protectively.

  ‘The thing about chick flicks,’ Mare said to Algy, ‘is that chicks like them.’ She picked up Girls Gone Wild and handed it to Shawn. ‘Here’s your dick flick. Enjoy’

  ‘Funny,’ Shawn said, handing back the signed receipt.

  Algy said, ‘Yeah, funny,’ but he watched Katie smile at Brandon.

  ‘Choose wisely,’ Mare said. ‘Do not listen to the words of others who have chosen a lesser path, but follow your bliss.’

  Shawn snorted but he looked confused.

  Algy thought about it. ‘Girls Gone Wild’ he said defiantly, and high-fived with Shawn.

  Mare shook her head sadly as they left, probably taking her raise with them. ‘Next thing you know, it’ll be human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together.’

  ‘Pardon