The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes Read online

  Thank God he was leaving.

  He kept his foot in the door. ‘Wait,’ he said. ‘Please. I’m looking for Moira Mariposa, Elizabeth Alicia, and Deirdre Dolores Fortune. I’m researching a book.’

  ‘Our name’s O’Brien.’ Mare stopped trying to kick his foot away. A book?’

  He nodded. About Phil and Fiona Fortune. That’s your real name, isn’t it? You just took O’Brien as an alias when you moved here.’

  Dee shut her eyes, suddenly sick. Oh, hell. Didn’t it just figure? She couldn’t even have a decent fantasy without it blowing up in her face.

  ‘No, our name really is O’Brien,’ Mare said. And we don’t know anybody named Fortune. Would we lie to you?’

  ‘Since I got your alias from your parents’ old commune members, I’d say that’s a yes,’ he said, perfectly calm for all the disaster he was unleashing. ‘I was hoping to at least talk to your oldest sister, Deirdre.’

  ‘She doesn’t want to talk to you,’ Dee chirped. ‘Get rid of him.’

  Her heart was slamming against her tiny chest. Her head threatened to explode again. It wasn’t fair. They’d run so far, hidden so well. And here was the man of her dreams – well, her dust – blithely threatening to do a great big Geraldo on them.

  ‘Thanks,’ Mare said, ‘but no thanks. Now if you’d move your foot so I could close this door-’

  He just kept smiling. ‘That’s what I was told you’d say.’

  ‘Really?’ Mare asked. And here I thought I was being delightfully unpredictable. Go away.’

  ‘Find out who told him who we are,’ Dee begged.

  ‘How about we start over?’ he asked, putting out a hand. ‘I’m Danny James. Like I said, I’m researching a book-’

  He never had the chance to finish. Mare stomped on his toes, and when he winced and jerked his foot back, she slammed the door. Then she turned and looked at her sisters. ‘Well, this is another fine mess the ‘rents have gotten us into.’

  Dee was frantic. That was disaster standing on their front porch. How could Mare just dismiss it like an inconvenient Mormon on a mission? ‘We have to find out what’s going on,’ she said. Flapping her wings, she swooped over to perch on the living room windowsill.

  ‘I don’t have to find out,’ Mare said. ‘I don’t care. I got rid of him. He’s gone.’

  ‘I don’t have time,’ Lizzie said, picking up her book. ‘I have work to do. I’m really close to a breakthrough.’

  ‘Well, I have time.’ Dee stared out the front window where she could see Danny James pause out by the curb. ‘What if she sent him?’

  ‘Who?’ Mare asked.

  Dee glared. ‘Xan.’

  Mare shook her head. ‘She’s your nightmare in the closet. Let it go, Dee.’

  ‘Open the door’ Dee ruffled her feathers, preparing to fly. ‘I’m going after him. Somebody has to keep an eye on him. I can do it without being caught.’

  ‘You don’t think he’ll find an owl on his ass suspicious?’ Mare asked.

  ‘He’ll never see me.’

  ‘How about when you change back to human form in the middle of the sidewalk and you’re naked?’ Mare stopped and looked thoughtful. ‘Actually, men usually don’t ask questions about naked women, so you might get away with that one.’

  Dee ruffled her feathers again. ‘I have clothes stashed all over this town. Nobody’s going to see me naked. And anyway, we have to know. I can at least see where he goes before I have to be at the bank.’

  ‘Couldn’t he just be what he says?’ Lizzie asked. A book researcher?’

  Dee inched her way to the edge of the table. ‘Mother and Dad have been dead for twelve years. Why would anybody do a book now? And exactly who gave him our alias? We can’t just assume Xan isn’t behind this. The last time she came after us, we almost didn’t get away in time. Open the door.’

  Lizzie and Mare looked at each other.

  ‘Maybe we should vote on it,’ Mare said. ‘Just because Dee is over twenty-eight, that doesn’t mean she gets to choose her own life-’

  ‘MARE!’ Dee screeched, and Lizzie slipped around her and opened the front door.

  Dee shoved off the dining room table and launched herself past them, out into the morning sky.

  * * *

  Xantippe Fortune put aside her silver spell bowl, the coppery dust of the True Desire spell gleaming in the bottom, and then wiped her see glass clean while the short, dark-haired woman next to her looked defiant but nervous. Very nervous.

  Good, Xan thought and settled into the silver brocade wing chair, the folds of her red gown falling smoothly over her wrists.

  It was hell finding competent help for a supernatural power heist in the twenty-first century, especially in a place as small and clueless as Salem’s Fork.

  ‘All I did was sneeze,’ Maxine said, smoothing down her polyester peasant blouse.

  Fashion always tells, Xan thought. ‘You sneezed on a magic glass, Maxine. Twice. The first one blew the front door wide open, which made the sisters close it instead of leaving it open to the screen door, which made it impossible to hear what was happening in the front of the house. The second sneeze almost made them close the garden windows, and if they had, I would have lost the dining room conversation. Because you were never taught to use a handkerchief, they think a hurricane is coming. Plus it’s unsanitary. You just bought a diner, woman. I shudder to think what happens in your kitchen.’

  ‘I’m going to call it Maxine’s,’ Maxine said in a dreamy voice.

  ‘No, you are not,’ Xan said. ‘You are going to do nothing to call attention to yourself or to the fact that you have suddenly acquired enough money to buy a diner. Our arrangement was that I would give you the money to buy the diner in exchange for your clandestine services for the next three days, but you must not call attention to yourself. That’s where the “clandestine” part comes in, Maxine. Until Monday, the Greasy Fork stays the Greasy Fork. Do you understand?’

  ‘There are gonna be big changes,’ Maxine said, looking off into the distance at her magnificent future.

  ‘Maxine!’ Xan snapped, and Maxine jerked to attention. ‘What are you going to do for the next three days?’

  ‘I’m gonna watch the Fortune sisters and not make any big changes because I’m clandestine,’ Maxine said.

  ‘And?’

  ‘And I’m gonna keep an eye on the three men who come for them.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And I’m gonna tell you everything.’ Xan settled back into her wing chair again. ‘Good, Maxine.’

  ‘And then I’m gonna sell Martinis at the Greasy Fork.’

  ‘Maxine!’

  ‘But not until Monday,’ Maxine said hurriedly.

  When hunting season comes, Xan thought. I’m going to turn you into a rabbit. ‘Good, Maxine. You may go.’

  Maxine looked around the room. ‘How do I-’

  Xan waved her hand and Maxine vanished, only to reappear in the see glass, looking dizzy and slightly nauseated behind the Greasy Fork’s Dumpster.

  I know how you feel, Xan thought. The whole town makes me feel that way.

  Then she turned her attention back to the Fortune house, her heart beating a little faster now that her plan was in motion. She’d cast one spell and brought the sisters’ True Loves to Salem’s Fork, then cast another and the sisters had seen their True Desires. Now Danny James had met Dee and Dee was on her way after him. Lizzie was about to turn around and meet somebody amazing. And Mare-

  ‘Xantippe?’

  Xan sat bolt upright as Maxine stood before her. ‘How the hell did you get back here?’

  Maxine blinked. ‘The portal by the Dumpster was still open.’

  Xan closed her eyes. If someone breathes in the natural psychic energy of a supernatural center like Salem’s Fork her entire life, Xan told herself, even if she’s a dolt like Maxine, she’ll pick up some basic skills. ‘Yes?’

  ‘Danny James just checked into the Lighthorse Harry Lee Bed