Clover Moon Read online

  ‘You wicked girl! Am I cruel, like she says?’ she asked the children. ‘Or am I a kind, loving mother who only wants the best for all of you?’

  They blinked at her.

  ‘You’re a kind, loving mother,’ Jenny blurted.

  ‘Thank you, Jenny,’ said Mildred.

  ‘Kind mother,’ Mary echoed quickly. ‘And loving – I forgot loving.’

  ‘Kind and loving mother,’ said Pete and Richie in unison.

  And even little Bert joined in. ‘Muvver! Muvver!’ he said.

  Mildred smiled triumphantly. ‘You see, Clover?’

  I saw that the children were scared of her and willing to parrot any nonsense, but there was no point arguing. I badly wanted Megs beside me, slipping her hand in mine, showing me she was on my side.

  I held on to Bert, but when Pete and Richie went back to arguing about their stick he wriggled to be set free so that he could lay claim to it too. During the few days I’d been locked in the cupboard under the stairs he seemed to have stopped being a baby and become a little boy. He didn’t really need me any more. Nobody needed me now. I didn’t have any full blood relatives left, apart from Pa.

  He was late getting home from work, and when he eventually arrived he smelled of beer. He wasn’t usually a heavy-drinking man, stopping after a tankard or two, but tonight his voice was slurred, his steps unsteady. He didn’t feel like eating and spurned the boiled mutton, not even fancying Mildred’s bacon.

  She was annoyed and nagged him, telling him he was a selfish drunken sot wasting good money on beer when the family had only pennies to live on.

  ‘For pity’s sake, hold your tongue,’ Pa moaned, clasping his head. ‘I’m grieving, can’t you see? I’ve lost my little girly, my own sweet Megs.’

  ‘Oh, Pa,’ I said, rushing to him and flinging my arms round his neck. ‘Don’t worry. I understand. I’m missing her so much too.’

  He pulled me on to his lap and held me close. It was years since he’d held me like that and it felt so good and comforting.

  ‘Don’t you go making a fuss of that wicked girl,’ said Mildred furiously. ‘She’s been impossible today, flouncing off without so much as a by-your-leave, then coming back here and yelling abuse at me. She deserves a whipping.’

  ‘Stop shouting, woman, you’re making my head ache,’ said Pa. ‘And don’t be so hard on our Clover. She’s got a loving heart and it’s broken in two because she’s lost her sister.’

  I took hold of his hand and squeezed it tight.

  ‘There now, pet,’ he said. ‘Bless you for wearing that scarf. It’s a shame to hide that pretty face but I suppose we can’t be too careful.’

  ‘It’s not her kerchief. She’s been hanging around that nasty crookback doll-maker yet again, after all I’ve told her,’ Mildred exploded.

  ‘Oh, Clover!’ said Pa reproachfully. ‘You’re not to spend your time with the likes of him. He fills your head with all sorts of nonsense. What sort of man is he anyway, making dollies for little girls? Now, you’re to be a good girl and stay in the alley where your mother can keep an eye on you.’

  ‘She’s not my mother,’ I said.

  ‘Quit that,’ said Pa, and he tipped me off his lap.

  8

  PA WENT OFF me after that. I couldn’t do anything right. He wouldn’t change his mind about my going to the funeral.

  ‘You can’t go, not if you haven’t got the right clothes. You’ll shame us,’ he said.

  ‘I might be able to get proper clothes,’ I said.

  ‘Don’t talk daft. And stop nagging at me in that shrill voice. You’re staying at home minding the little ones while your mother and I are at the funeral,’ he said. ‘And if you say another word against her I’ll give you a good hiding.’

  I held my tongue but inside my head I was making plans. On Thursday I started up a game of hide and seek in the alley. The other children were allowed to play with us now that we still seemed to be in good health. Sukey and the twins and Angel and Jimmy Wheels and Daft Mo all joined in, though Mo never really got the hang of it. When it was his turn to hide he simply pulled up his shirt and hid his head, thinking that if he couldn’t see us then somehow we wouldn’t be able to see him. He didn’t seem to mind being tagged straight away so it didn’t matter.

  I waited until they were all absorbed in the game, and Jenny was the seeker. She was always slow at finding anyone, especially hampered by Bert, who had chosen her as his pair of arms for the day. He was behaving like a saucy lad with two eager lady friends, playing Jenny and me off against each other.

  Normally I felt hurt when he rejected me, but now it suited me. As soon as everyone else had hidden themselves in doorways and behind coal bunkers and the boys had hitched themselves up a drainpipe on to our roof, I ran quietly down the alleyway. Pete and Richie spotted me from their rooftop and cried out, but I didn’t turn round. I ran out of the alley and into the street. Then I went on running, making for Mr Dolly’s.

  I hoped the boys wouldn’t tell on me straight away. Sooner or later the children would realize I wasn’t hiding. There would be a hue and cry and Mildred would find out. She’d know in an instant where I’d gone, and doubtless I’d get another hiding, but I didn’t really care. The worst thing in the world had happened to me and nothing else could hurt me as much.

  I was out of breath when I reached Dolls Aplenty. I didn’t even pause to look at the window, though I saw there was a new display of dolls in a schoolroom setting. I burst straight in through the shop door – and then saw that Mr Dolly had a customer, a stout young mother in very unbecoming bright violet, with an even stouter small daughter in sickly pink, with pink kid boots to match. She had obviously spent last night in curl-papers because her hair was in tight glossy ringlets. She shook her head constantly to show them off.

  Mr Dolly smiled at me but held up one finger to show he had to attend to his customers before he could talk to me. They took a very long time, wanting to examine practically every doll in the shop, even demanding that Mr Dolly disrupt his window display to let them examine each ‘pupil’ and the schoolteacher herself.

  Mr Rivers had been almost as exacting, but he had been very polite and was simply trying to find the most perfect present for his daughter. Perhaps Mrs Violet Dress was intent on doing the same, but little Miss Sickly Pink didn’t seem particularly interested in anything, saying that she didn’t really care for old-fashioned wooden dolls, and would much prefer a proper French china doll with a trousseau of silk dresses.

  ‘Ah, but I have fine china dolls too, little missy,’ said Mr Dolly politely, though he caught my eye for a second, making it plain what he really thought of spoiled Sickly Pink.

  He brought out Hyacinth and Violet and sat them side by side on the counter, but the child still wasn’t impressed.

  ‘Their dresses are the wrong colours,’ she said, shaking her ringlets dismissively. ‘I want them to have pink dresses exactly like mine.’

  I wondered if she wanted the dolls to increase in girth and sprout ringlets from their china heads too. There was clearly no pleasing her, even when Mr Dolly produced a pink silk doll’s dress from a drawer and assured her it would fit either doll.

  ‘I dare say it would, but can’t you see it’s entirely the wrong shade of pink?’ she said pertly.

  ‘Oh, bless you, Araminta!’ said her mama fondly. ‘The child is so exacting. She’s got such style already.’

  I thought Araminta had the exact opposite of style. I snorted before I could stop myself.

  Mrs Violet Dress glanced over her shoulder at me, looking pained. ‘Mind your manners, little girl!’ she said sharply.

  I knew I should bob her a curtsy and say sorry but I didn’t feel like it. Instead I looked over at the shelf of dolls, pursing my lips and pretending to whistle.

  ‘Insolent little brat!’ she said, catching hold of Araminta by her satin skirts and pulling her close as if I might contaminate her. If she knew I’d been in contact with the fever