Clover Moon Read online

  ‘I’m Clover Moon.’

  ‘Well, I suggest you mind your own business, Clover Moon! Who do you think you are, new girl? If you think the Millie-pig is so sweet, you go in the WC right this minute and breathe in her delightful fumes,’ she said, and she seized hold of me and started pushing me into the cubicle.

  I pushed back. She was a head taller than me, but I was stronger than I looked, and my arms were hard as iron from doing all the chores and lumbering little children about. I’d have pushed her in the water closet, but the others joined in and I couldn’t beat a whole bunch of them.

  I got shoved right inside. It was horrible. I put the hem of my dress over my nose and used the lavatory myself as quickly as possible. I pulled the chain and then attempted to open the door. It wouldn’t budge. I’d unbolted it but it was somehow stuck. I put my shoulder to the door and pushed hard, but it still wouldn’t move. Then I heard giggles. They must be leaning against it.

  ‘Go away, you idiots!’ I called. ‘Get out of the way!’

  More giggling.

  ‘Ah, don’t you like it in there, after all?’ said the princess girl. ‘Fancy that!’

  They muttered outside.

  ‘You show her, Mary-Ann,’ someone said.

  ‘Mary-Ann, Mary-Ann, I’ll stick her head down the lavatory pan,’ I chanted.

  ‘You’ll have to get out first,’ said Princess Mary-Ann.

  ‘I’m blooming well coming out now!’ I said, banging hard on the door. I tried another shove, but it still wouldn’t budge. ‘Oi, Mary-Ann, you with the long yellow hair! Let me out this minute, you hateful rat-face!’

  There was a gasp at that. It was clear that none of the others dared call her names. I tried kicking my way out, and the door did move an inch or so because I’d taken them by surprise. I kicked again, harder, but this time they held it firm.

  ‘This is ridiculous!’ I said. ‘Let me out!’

  More muttering. Someone said that perhaps they ought to let me out now or Miss Ainsley might hear, and then they’d all be in trouble.

  ‘I’m not letting her out ever,’ said Mary-Ann. ‘Not unless she truly grovels and begs me.’

  ‘Then we’ll wait till doomsday!’ I retorted through the door, though I was starting to panic now. It wasn’t just the smell, it was the lack of space. It was like being back in that dark cupboard again, as if the walls were gradually inching inwards against me, the low ceiling pressing right down on the top of my head.

  ‘LET ME OUT!’ I yelled again, hoping Sissy might hear me.

  ‘Oh, she’s getting really frantic now!’ said Mary-Ann triumphantly. ‘If we let you out you have to crawl on the floor and lick my feet, do you hear me, new girl?’

  ‘I’ll bite your toes off one by one and then spit them at you,’ I said. ‘Millie? Millie, are you there? Run and get Sissy!’

  ‘Oh, you’re set on snitching to Sissy, are you?’ said Mary-Ann. ‘Well, hard luck. Millie’s not going to help you, are you, Millie-pig?’

  ‘No, Mary-Ann,’ Millie muttered, sniffling.

  ‘Oh, Millie!’ I said. It was all her fault I was stuck in the wretched water closet.

  Then I heard gasps and a sudden scuffle of feet.

  ‘Whatever’s the matter, girls? Why are you being so tardy tonight? You should have been in your beds ten minutes ago. Get to your dormitory at once!’ It was the clipped tones of little, shrunken Miss Ainsley.

  ‘Sorry, Miss Ainsley,’ they all chorused as they went out of the room.

  I hoped she’d follow them, but I heard her stepping over to the water closet.

  ‘Who’s in there?’

  ‘It’s me, Clover,’ I said, feeling ridiculous.

  ‘Well, come out at once, Clover Moon!’

  I tried the door. It opened immediately. I stepped out and shut the door behind me, breathing deeply.

  ‘Whatever’s the matter?’ Miss Ainsley asked irritably.

  ‘I . . . I couldn’t get out,’ I said.

  ‘Don’t be silly, girl. It’s a simple enough latch,’ she said. ‘Now go to the dormitory, get changed into a nightgown, say your prayers and get into bed, quick sharp.’

  ‘A nightgown?’

  ‘A gown that decent folk wear at night,’ she said.

  I was clearly indecent because I’d never worn a gown in bed in my life. I just kept my shift on, and so did Megs and Jenny. Little Mary wore her vest and the boys their combinations. On washdays, when they were still damp and un-ironed, we wore nothing at all, and had great night games pretending we were naked savages on a desert island.

  Miss Ainsley was delving in the astonishing cupboard, which seemed to contain enough linen for the whole of London. She took out a long, loose white robe, carefully ironed, with a white trim on the collar. If asked to guess I’d have identified it as a wedding dress.

  ‘I’m to wear this dress in bed?’ I asked.

  Miss Ainsley nodded curtly.

  ‘Do you wear one, Miss Ainsley?’ I asked, wondering if this were possible as she was so very small. Surely it would trail across the floor and bunch up unbearably under the covers?

  She went pink. ‘You must learn not to ask personal questions, Clover. Yes, of course I wear a nightgown – and a nightcap too.’

  I pictured this and had to press my lips together hard to stop myself sniggering.

  ‘Off you go then,’ said Miss Ainsley, making a little fluttering gestures with her tiny hand. ‘I’ll be in to check on all you girls in five minutes flat.’

  ‘Miss Ainsley, do I absolutely have to sleep in that dormitory? Couldn’t I possibly sleep in the nursery? I don’t need a cot – I will quite happily curl up on the floor. I could be very useful if Jane is upset or needs her sheets changing, and I could keep an eye on the other three girls. Sissy says I’m very good at looking after them,’ I said.

  ‘I dare say you are, but you must sleep in a proper bed in the dormitory with the other girls your age,’ she said firmly.

  ‘I don’t think they like me very much,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Nonsense,’ Miss Ainsley responded briskly. But when she saw my face she stepped nearer and actually patted my shoulder. ‘Don’t look so anxious, Clover. You’ll make friends soon enough.’

  ‘I’m not sure I want to make friends.’

  ‘You must learn to get along with the others, dear. Mary-Ann is a very popular girl. I’ll ask her to keep an eye on you,’ she said.

  ‘Please don’t!’ I said, and hurried out of the washroom.

  16

  MY HEART BEAT fast as I walked towards the dormitory, nightgown in one hand, pillowcase in the other. I wasn’t used to being tormented by other children. I had grown up Queen of Cripps Alley. I was the one all the other children looked up to and admired. I sorted out the squabbles, chastised the bullies, dandled the babies.

  I was the oldest child in the alley apart from Daft Mo, and he didn’t count because he had the mind of a five-year-old. There were grown girls and boys of course, but they were all out at work at the sauce factory or down the market. A few boys were apprenticed as upholsterers or plasterers, or worked as pot boys in the tavern, and poor Georgie now worked with his pa in the night-soil business. Several girls were kitchen maids, and pretty Sarah worked in a grocer’s and sneaked all kinds of goodies home to her family.

  Of course they had once played in the alley, and they were all older than me, but because I’d always looked after Megs and the others they accepted me as one of the big ones, even though I was half their size.

  I’d never really had a friend my own age. I didn’t know how to manage it. I wanted to be with the four little ones or with Sissy in her private room. I did not, not, not want to be in a dormitory with Mary-Ann and all her hateful allies.

  I heard them chattering excitedly behind the door. I thrust it open, my chin in the air, determined not to let them see I was frightened. The girls looked eerie in the flickering candlelight, ghostly in their long white gowns. They were all gathered rou