Rose Rivers Read online

  ‘I manage very easily. Don’t look so shocked. At least I’m not a hypocrite,’ he said, and sauntered out of the room.

  No one else came all evening, apart from the maid who brought me my dinner on a tray – clear soup and an unbuttered roll and a glass of water. It looked as if they were trying to purify me. I didn’t really care. I wasn’t in the least bit hungry.

  However, I did mind when no one came to say goodnight. They were treating me like a leper! I’d hoped that Papa might relent and come to my door to make sure I was all right.

  I found myself longing for Nurse to come and comfort me the way she used to when I’d been naughty. She’d tut at me, but when I’d had my cry she’d pick me up in her arms and hold me close. ‘There, there,’ she’d go. ‘No need for any more tears. Nursie still loves you.’

  But she clearly didn’t love me any more, because she didn’t come. I lay in bed, my head throbbing, aching with weariness but unable to sleep a wink. Some time after midnight my door opened and someone pattered across the floor.

  ‘Rose?’

  It was Clover!

  ‘You shouldn’t be here, Clover! If they catch you they’ll send you away,’ I whispered. ‘Papa’s so angry now he might do anything.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ she said, climbing into my bed with difficulty. ‘My goodness, this is a squeeze! Why aren’t you sleeping in the big bed with the curtains?’

  ‘I don’t like it. It’s where Nurse Budd slept.’

  ‘I’m so glad she’s gone!’ Clover whispered. ‘Poor Beth wants her back, but it’s only because of that medicine. It’s going to be weeks before she stops wanting it.’

  ‘Don’t you mind looking after her? You have to have so much patience. I’ve tried, but I’m useless with her.’

  ‘I like trying to help her.’

  ‘I wish you could help me, Clover,’ I murmured, clinging to her. ‘My whole family’s turned against me.’

  ‘The maids are saying that you did bad things with Mr Walker. Did you?’

  ‘No, of course I didn’t. I just kissed him because I was so grateful,’ I said.

  ‘Just kissed him! Then why are they making such a silly fuss? The girls in Cripps Alley do far more than that,’ said Clover scornfully. ‘Boys down the alley tried to kiss me, but I wasn’t having it. I didn’t want anyone slobbering over me.’

  ‘Our kiss wasn’t slobbery,’ I said.

  ‘Anyway, why were you grateful to him?’ Clover asked.

  I told her that he’d shown Miss Wentworth my card and she wanted to publish my work.

  ‘That’s wonderful! Your pictures will be in a proper paper!’

  ‘Well, it’s just a college paper, but lots of people read it. Of course, I don’t know whether she will use any of my drawings,’ I said.

  ‘Of course she will,’ said Clover. ‘You’ll be famous, Rose, you mark my words.’

  ‘You’re the one who’ll be famous,’ I said. ‘You’re a much better artist than me. Maybe one day, when we’re both grown up, we could share a studio,’ I suggested.

  ‘You and me? That would be lovely!’

  ‘What do you think’s going to happen to me, Clover? Are they going to keep me cooped up in this room until we go home next week?’ I asked her.

  ‘We’re going back tomorrow. Nurse and I have been packing the children’s trunks. We’re to get the ten-o’clock train. Didn’t they tell you?’

  ‘They haven’t told me anything! They didn’t even send a maid to help me pack my things,’ I said indignantly.

  ‘Well, I’ll help you now if you like,’ Clover offered.

  ‘No, better not. We might make a noise opening and shutting cupboards. You’d better go back to your room now, just in case, though I’d give anything for you to stay. You’re my only true friend in all the world, Clover. I thought Mr Walker was my friend, but he’s just run away. I don’t suppose he’ll be Papa’s friend any more either. I always counted Rupert as my best friend, but I don’t think even he really cares about me.’

  ‘Well, I care about you. Try to go to sleep now. Everything will be all right once we’re back in London,’ said Clover.

  I tried to believe her. I lay awake long after she went, but eventually I fell fast asleep. I was woken by the maid coming into my room with a tray of tea and toast.

  I sat up in bed and gulped my tea thirstily. ‘Thank you. Can you tell me the time, please?’

  ‘It’s ten to nine, miss,’ she said.

  ‘What!’ I started out of bed. ‘But we’ll have to leave soon to get the train! I haven’t even packed! Can you have my trunk brought in, please?’

  ‘Don’t fret, miss. You’re not getting the train.’

  ‘So we’re staying here for the rest of the holidays after all?’ I asked.

  ‘Well, you’re staying, miss,’ she said.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’d better ask the mistress, miss.’

  ‘Are the rest of my family going back to London?’

  ‘Please, miss, I’ll be in so much trouble if I tell you,’ she said, nearly in tears.

  ‘They’re going without me? Not even saying goodbye?’ I said, unable to believe it.

  ‘We’re coming to say goodbye, Miss Rose,’ said Nurse, appearing in the doorway, Phoebe bundled in a shawl on her hip. ‘Your mama said she didn’t want any contact between you and your brothers and sisters, but it’s too cruel. You’re still a child, for all you’ve got yourself into a pickle and brought disgrace on us.’ She came forward and gave me a stiff little hug. I tried to hang onto her, but she eased herself away. ‘You’ll squash Baby,’ she said. ‘I’ll fetch the other children.’

  First Sebastian came running in, holding his mouse cage. He was already buttoned into his outdoor coat, his face very pink.

  ‘Oh, Rose, I’m going to miss you so much,’ he said. ‘We don’t know what you’ve done, except it’s very bad, but I don’t care, I still love you.’

  ‘I love you too, Sebastian,’ I said. ‘I shall miss you so much too.’

  ‘Will you be very lonely?’ he asked. He went even pinker. ‘Perhaps I’d better let you have Montmorency for company.’

  ‘That’s so sweet of you, but I think he’d pine away without you,’ I said.

  ‘Yes, I think you’re right,’ said Sebastian, mightily relieved.

  I pushed back his soft white hair and whispered into his ear, ‘Do you know where I’m going if I can’t come home with you?’

  He shook his head. ‘They won’t tell and Nurse says she doesn’t know.’

  Algie and Clarrie came in together, holding hands. Clarrie was crying, her face damp with tears as she pressed it against mine.

  ‘Bye bye, Rose. Promise you’ll come back to us soon?’

  I promised, hoping against hope that I would.

  ‘Crybaby!’ Algie said scornfully to Clarrie – but when I gave him a hug he burst into tears himself. ‘Don’t go!’ he begged, though he was the one going, not me.

  Then Clover appeared, encouraging Beth to come with her. Beth started whimpering again when she saw the washstand. She touched the empty amber cabinet and shook her head sadly.

  ‘Say goodbye to Rose,’ Clover prompted her.

  ‘Goodbye to Rose,’ Beth repeated obediently.

  But when she got to the door again she turned. ‘Rose, Rose, Rose!’ she wailed.

  ‘Oh, Beth!’ I cried. I tried to give her a hug but she shrank away.

  ‘Goodbye, Rose,’ Clover whispered. There were tears in her big green eyes.

  I wasn’t going to be thwarted again. I put my arms round her and gave her the longest, fiercest hug. ‘Goodbye, my dearest friend,’ I said.

  Rupert was last. He shook his head. ‘Oh dear Lord, this is like those child death scenes in sentimental books. It’s as if little Rose is about to join the angels. Or devils, in your case, if the parents are to be believed.’

  ‘Mr Rupert!’ Nurse reprimanded him. ‘Say goodbye to your sister and st