Rose Rivers Read online

  ‘Edie told me what happened. How could you upset Beth in such a manner? You’ve ruined that beautiful French doll with your carelessness!’ she said.

  ‘I didn’t intend to upset Beth. We were having a lovely time until I started to play with her doll. I wanted to amuse her but it just went wrong. I’m terribly sad about Marianne – she was my doll too, and I used to love her enormously. Perhaps we can put a bandage round her eyes, and then she can be like Mr Watts’s painting, the one he calls Hope,’ I said. Papa had taken me to see it and I had secretly thought it rather dreary, but pretended to admire it all the same. ‘Please don’t get so upset, Mama.’ I was trying to be reassuring, but everything I said only seemed to infuriate her.

  ‘Don’t speak to me in that patronizing manner, Rose! I wish you’d learn your lesson and keep away from Beth – you always upset her. It was particularly embarrassing this afternoon, with Lady Robson visiting. I was hoping she’d invite you to tea with her granddaughter. You really must start making some proper friends, Rose. We were getting along splendidly until Beth started that terrible shrieking. I didn’t know where to look. “What is that banshee wailing?” she said. Those were her exact words. And now I’m sure Lady Robson will tell all her society friends about the incident, and they will think me a terrible mother for having such an uncontrollable child,’ Mama said, mopping her forehead.

  ‘Well, what do we care about an old nanny goat like Lady Robson!’ I said without thinking.

  I got sent to bed, though I was too old for childish punishments and it was only halfway through the afternoon. I decided I didn’t care in the slightest. I read for a long time, until my head started aching too, and then I studied Papa’s book on the great masterpieces of art. Masterpieces. Why are there no Mistresspieces?

  I wasn’t even allowed to go down for dinner. Nurse brought me a bowl of bread and milk instead – nursery punishment food. She tutted at me too.

  ‘Poor Beth!’ she said. ‘She was in such a state! I was worried she’d start fitting. I’m not sure she’s out of the woods yet.’

  I lay worrying until, at long last, it was dark and Papa came in to say goodnight.

  ‘I didn’t mean to upset Beth, Papa,’ I said miserably.

  ‘I know you didn’t, my pet,’ he said.

  ‘She will be all right, won’t she, Papa?’

  ‘Of course she will, silly girl.’

  ‘Mama was so hurtful. She said I always upset her.’

  ‘Your mama isn’t very well at the moment.’

  ‘You always stand up for her, Papa.’

  ‘That’s my job. I am an English gentleman,’ said Papa, standing up straight and thumping himself on the chest. ‘I stand up for my wife and children.’ He clicked his heels together.

  ‘Oh, Papa. You’re always joking,’ I said.

  He held my chin very gently. ‘Perhaps you should try to joke too, Rose. You take life so seriously. I wish you were a little happier.’

  ‘I am happy sometimes! I’m just missing Rupert so.’

  ‘I think we all are.’

  ‘Beth’s missing him too. Oh, Papa, promise she’s not going to start fitting.’

  ‘Of course she won’t.’

  ‘She’s so sad about poor Marianne. We’d better keep her in that cupboard now she looks so upsetting.’

  ‘I’m going to take her to a doll’s hospital tomorrow,’ said Papa.

  ‘Is there truly such a thing, or is that another joke?’ I asked.

  ‘There is, truly, and I have a hunch they’ll be able to help Marianne make a full recovery. If she has to stay in hospital for a long time, I might see if I can find another pretty doll to keep Beth company in the meantime.’

  ‘You spoil Beth, Papa. In fact you spoil us all.’ I looked at him. I couldn’t see properly by candlelight, but he seemed particularly tired and careworn. I thought of all the tales of Papa’s youth. ‘Do you ever wish you were still single, free to paint as long as you like without a care in the world?’

  Papa smiled wistfully. ‘And what should I do with you and all your siblings? Put you in the cupboard with Marianne? Go to sleep now, dear.’

  ‘I think I’ll go and kiss Beth goodnight and tell her I’m sorry,’ I said.

  Papa hesitated. ‘Better not. You don’t want to wake her up if Nurse has got her to sleep at last.’

  ‘I suppose not,’ I said. I tried to settle, but I kept thinking about Beth. Long after Papa and Mama had gone up to bed I crept out of my room and tiptoed along the corridor to the night nursery, where Nurse was snoring, and Sebastian and Algie and Clarrie were tucked into their little brass cots. At the end was the bed occupied by Beth.

  I hovered over her, peering at her in the dark. Her head was deeply buried in her pillow, her hair in a long plait coiled like a snake about her shoulders. I held my breath because she was such a light sleeper. I listened to her breathing. It was soft and regular, such a great relief.

  I reached out and very lightly patted Beth’s shoulder. It was the only time I could actually touch her. She stirred and I bit my lip, but she didn’t wake.

  ‘Sleep well,’ I whispered. Beth murmured something indistinctly, as if she were wishing me the same.

  BETH HAS A new nurse. She comes on Lady Robson’s recommendation.

  ‘My daughter-in-law had a little trouble with my third grandchild, Marmaduke. He was so strong-willed I thought we’d never break his spirit. But I took it upon myself to hire this magnificent trained nurse and, in a matter of weeks, we saw such a difference in the little boy. He became so tranquil, so obedient. I highly recommend Nurse Budd, Mrs Rivers. She will make all the difference to your troubled daughter, I promise you. She comes with the very best references,’ she told Mama.

  ‘A simple recommendation from you is all the reference she needs, Lady Robson,’ said Mama sycophantically.

  She was given Nurse Budd’s particulars, who came straight away. I don’t like her one jot. I feel so guilty because it’s all my fault for upsetting Beth when Lady Robson was here. Nurse Budd is as narrow and rigid as a drainpipe, though she pretends to be a soft, simple creature who loves all children. She refers to her charge as ‘my dear little Beth’. I don’t think Beth is fooled. Neither is Nurse.

  ‘I don’t care for that Nurse Budd, for all she’s got a special nursing certificate. I don’t like this talk of “training”. I won’t let her beat my Beth. I won’t stand for any child in my nursery being whipped.’

  As far as we can tell, Nurse Budd has never raised a finger against Beth. She doesn’t raise her voice either. But Beth’s behaviour has started to improve. I don’t know how she’s done it. Nurse Budd insists on having special quarters for her and her charge, so now they share the big green guest room. Nurse Budd says they need privacy to work on Beth’s training.

  I hate not being able to see Beth whenever I want. Nurse Budd scolded me when I burst into their new room without knocking.

  ‘Now now, Miss Rose. I don’t want you disturbing my Miss Beth,’ she said in a silly, syrupy voice. ‘She’s having a little lie-in. Off you pop now.’

  I refused to pop. I was worried about Beth. She scarcely stirred when I talked to her. Her eyelids fluttered and she murmured something, but she wasn’t properly awake.

  ‘I think you tired her out yesterday, Nurse Budd,’ I said accusingly.

  ‘Sleep is nature’s remedy, Miss Rose. Miss Beth needs to rest as much as possible. Half her trouble is simply that she’s overtired. Now run along and stop trying to teach me my job. I am a trained nurse, you know.’ She nodded at the certificate she’d pinned up on the wall.

  I didn’t know what to do. I went to consult Nurse.

  ‘There you are, Miss Rose! Dear goodness, you haven’t even brushed your hair yet. Miss Rayner’s in the schoolroom already. Hurry up now. And look at those muddy boots! You didn’t put them out for young Jack to clean.’

  ‘Who cares about my stupid boots! Nurse, Beth’s still asleep and Nurse Budd doesn’t wa