Girls in Tears Read online

  'Well, at least it was a quick way to go,' I say.

  'So, what have you done with her body?' asks Nadine with interest.

  'Nadine!' I say. I know she's a Goth but sometimes she's way too ghoulish.

  'I've put her in my best Pied à Terre shoe box,' Magda says solemnly. 'I thought I'd bury her in the garden today.'

  'Great! Then we can have a funeral after school, right?' says Nadine. 'We'll all wear black and I'll compose a sad hamster requiem and you can read a poem in Fudge's memory and we'll paint the shoe box to look like a coffin. Ellie, you can design a little portrait to put under plastic and stick onto Fudge's gravestone.'

  Magda is keen on the idea.

  'We can have funeral baked meats, whatever they are. They don't have to be real meat, do they? Let's have black food! We could have very rich dark chocolate cake, which looks almost black, and black cherry cheesecake too. And we could raise a champagne flute of Coke in fond memory of poor little Fudge,' I suggest.

  Then I remember. 'Oh bum! I can't. I'm seeing Russell.'

  'We can have the funeral straight after school,' says Nadine.

  'No, he's coming to meet me from school. I'm going back to his place.'

  'You can do that any old day, Ellie. But we'll have to have Fudge's funeral now or she'll start to decompose,' says Nadine.

  Magda gives a little whimper.

  'Yeah, look, you're upsetting Mags. Don't friends come before boys? That's what you're always drumming into us,' says Nadine.

  'It's different with Russell. He's not any old boy. It's getting serious,' I say, going pink. I look down at my ring.

  Magda notices at last. She gasps. 'Russell's given you a ring, Ellie?' she says.

  'Yeah, off a kids' comic,' says Nadine nastily.

  'I don't care where he got it from. It's the sentiment that counts,' I say loftily. 'I like my ring better than the biggest diamond.'

  I twist it proudly round and round my finger, trying not to let the ugly green mark show.

  I can't help thinking Nadine is stained metaphorically green with jealousy. It's probably because her relationship with Liam didn't last. Russell and I are in love. We are going to go out for ever and ever.

  Chapter Four

  Girls cry when

  they hate the

  way they look

  Four

  Girls cry when

  they hate the way they look

  Russell is waiting for me outside our school. I spot him the minute Magda, Nadine and I set foot in the playground. Russell waves and I wave back self-consciously. Lots of girls are staring. I feel silly with everyone looking, but proud too. I'm thrilled that I've actually got a real boyfriend meeting me. He looks great too, even in his school uniform.

  I feel especially ultra-hideous in mine. Despite all my efforts to look cool I've got paint all down my sweater and my skirt's all crumpled and my shoes are muddy from taking a short cut across the playing field to the Art huts. And I couldn't find any unladdered tights this morning so I'm wearing childish socks that ruck around my ankles.

  Loads of Year Nine girls are peering at Russell, eyeing him up and down, seemingly impressed. Magda and Nadine do not look impressed.

  'Why don't you get him to have a haircut, Ellie? That flopping-in-the-eyes style is so last year,' Magda says snippily.

  'Are you sure he's really Year Eleven? He looks much younger,' says Nadine. 'I'd never feel kind of right, going out with a schoolboy.'

  I know they're both just winding me up. They're not really serious. But it gets to me all the same. 'I think Russell's hair is fantastic. I'd hate it if he cut it,' I say. 'And I think he looks at least sixteen. How old is this wonderful new guy of yours, Nadine?'

  'What new guy?' says Magda.

  Nadine looks mysterious. She taps her nose. 'Ah! So you suddenly both want to know. Well . . . he's nineteen!'

  'Oh, Naddie! Look, didn't you learn your lesson with Liam?' I groan.

  'Ellis isn't a silly loser like Liam,' Nadine says.

  'Ellis?'

  'Yeah, Ellis Travers. Cool name, or what?'

  'So why is this ultra-cool nineteen-year-old Ellis wanting to go out with a schoolgirl in Year Nine?' I say. 'As if I couldn't guess!'

  'Guess all you like, Ellie, I don't care.'

  I care, though. Russell is frowning at me, exaggerating his waves. He's obviously wondering why I'm not rushing over to him straight away. But I feel I've got to find out about this new guy of Nadine's. She's so infuriating. Why does she do this to me?

  'Is he really nineteen, Nad?' Magda asks.

  I can tell she's irritated too. She's the prettiest. She's the one who should have heaps of boys desperate to go out with her. But all she's got is an on/off relationship with Greg, while I've got a proper boyfriend and now Nadine has got a guy of nineteen—

  'He's only five years older than me. It's no big deal,' says Nadine airily.

  I hate it that Nadine and Magda are fourteen now. I'm still stuck at thirteen, which seems sooo much younger. And in my school uniform I know I don't look a day over twelve.

  'Ellie!'

  Russell is yelling at me now. I'll have to go. But Nadine is going round to Magda's for Fudge's funeral service. She'll tell Magda all about this Ellis. I can't stand it if Nadine and Magda tell each other secrets and I'm left out.

  I stand there, dithering. Russell gives me one last angry look. He jumps down from the school wall, about to stride off. I have to rush after him. I give Magda a quick kiss to apologize for my non-attendance at the funeral. I give Nadine a kiss too to remind her we've been soul sisters since we were in nursery school and smeared pretend red Smartie blood over our wrists and that I need to be in on things when she tells all about this Ellis.

  Ellis! I thought Russell was posh enough. I am a bit fussed about meeting his dad. They live on the other side of town. The posh side. Those houses cost a fortune. OK, Russell and his dad and Cynthia, his dad's girlfriend, just live in the garden flat but it's still pretty fantastic.

  Russell doesn't even look round when I call after him. I have to run like crazy in my clumpy school shoes to catch him up.

  'Hey, Russell, wait What's up?' I have to hang onto his arm before he'll stop.

  'Oh, Ellie! Goodness! I'm visible now, am I?' he says, dead sarcastic.

  'What are you on about? Why did you rush off without me? We're going to your place, aren't we?'

  'Well, I thought so – but you seemed more interested in hanging about with your friends, having a lengthy natter for half an hour.'

  'Half an hour! Don't be daft. Half a minute, more like!'

  'But you can gab away to them all day long at school.'

  'We don't gab. Look, Russell, they're my friends!

  'I don't know what you see in them. That Nadine looks like she hangs upside down in a bat cave – and as for Magda!'

  'What about Magda?' I say sharply.

  'Well, she looks so obvious – all that make-up and stuff, and her . . .' Russell gestures at his chest with a roundabout motion.

  'She isn't wearing any make-up today and she can't help her figure, you nut. I wish I looked like Magda.'

  'I'm glad you don't. I like you just the way you are, Ellie,' says Russell, looking at me properly at last. He looks down at my hand. 'Still wearing my ring?' he asks softly.

  'Of course I am. I'm never going to take it off,' I say.

  I can't confront him about the kids' comic. It doesn't matter anyway. I wouldn't care if it was made out of silver paper. I love it because I love Russell. It's such a relief he's not cross any more. He puts his arm round my shoulders, giving my cheek a quick kiss. Some idiotic Year Seven girls run past giggling and wolf-whistling but I try to ignore them, though I know I'm blushing!

  'You've got lovely skin,' says Russell. 'I love your rosy cheeks.'

  The whole world turns pink. Russell doesn't mind that I blush like a fool. He likes it. I haven't got lovely skin. Nasty little spots erupt all over the place,