My Mum Tracy Beaker Read online

  It was no use getting cross with Alfie for being noisy and making a mess. He couldn’t help it. He was a dog, and all dogs behave like that. He just seemed a bit noisier and messier than most. And try as I might to keep him a secret, it looked as if quite a lot of people would be emailing the council about him.

  In the middle of the night he started whimpering in his sleep – just tiny noises, and I knew he was probably just dreaming of chasing squirrels – but the sad sound broke my heart. I crawled carefully out of bed, worried about waking Mum because she’d been tossing and turning, and it had taken her a very long time to fall asleep. I scrunched up really small and lay down on the cushion with Alfie, curling myself right round him. He licked my hand happily, squirmed into the comfiest position possible and went back to sleep. I wasn’t at all comfortable, but Alfie had stopped whimpering. It was cold without any covers, but Alfie was as warm as a hot-water bottle so I cuddled him close.

  Perhaps I whimpered in my dreams too because much later I woke up to find Mum tucking the duvet over me and then stroking my hair.

  ‘Go back to sleep, darling,’ she whispered.

  ‘Sing to me, Mum,’ I begged sleepily. She always used to sing when I couldn’t sleep.

  ‘Baby,’ she teased, but she quietly sang all my favourites: ‘How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?’, ‘Hound Dog’ and ‘Who Let the Dogs Out?’

  I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up again, I could hardly move because I was so stiff. I had to shuffle to the bathroom like a little old woman. Mum was already up and washed and dressed, sitting at the table with a mug of black coffee, tapping away on her phone.

  ‘You’re not texting Sean Godfrey, are you?’ I asked.

  ‘No! I’m texting Cam to let her know we’re back here,’ said Mum. ‘And I’m asking if she’ll have Alfie today, while I go job hunting. I’ve checked our bank account and we’re OK for a bit, but I need to start earning now. Still, we’ll manage, you’ll see. Come here, sweetheart, let me give those shoulders a rub.’

  I wriggled as Mum massaged me. She soothed most of the outside aches, but she couldn’t make all the knots of worry inside unravel. I hadn’t thought about money.

  ‘Maybe you should have kept your diamond ring. It was probably worth a lot of money.’

  ‘Yep, I could have sold it and had enough money to keep us going for ages,’ said Mum. ‘I’ve still got the keys to Sean’s house. Shall I sneak back and grab it?’

  ‘Yes, do it!’ I said – but she was only joking.

  ‘No, we’re going to manage by ourselves,’ she said. ‘Right, let’s make you and Alfie some breakfast. It’ll be a bit weird because I haven’t been to the shops yet.’

  It was actually quite a good breakfast. I had dry cornflakes because we didn’t have any milk, but Mum let me sprinkle raisins on them for a treat. Then she found a tin of peaches and shared them with me.

  ‘I’m not having my girl going to school hungry,’ she said.

  She didn’t let her Alfie go hungry either. At the back of the cupboard she found an old can of mince and gave him a few spoonfuls. Alfie was very appreciative and wolfed it down quickly.

  ‘He loves it, Mum! Could he have a little bit more?’ I asked.

  ‘No, that’s enough for now. I’ll make a cottage pie for our supper with the rest. We have to be dead economical until I get a job.’

  ‘Can’t you just go back to looking after Ava and Alice?’ I asked.

  ‘I texted Marina earlier,’ said Mum, ‘but she said she was ever so sorry but she wanted to keep Marie-Thérèse now.’

  ‘That’s so mean when you had the job first!’ I said. ‘And you’re her friend.’

  ‘She tried to be kind. She offered me some money to keep me going.’

  ‘Did you say yes?’

  ‘No, of course not! We don’t need anyone else to keep us going, Jess. We’re Beakers. We’re going to stand proud and be independent,’ said Mum.

  I didn’t feel I was standing proud when I went into school. My legs were so wobbly I wasn’t sure they could support me. Everyone was staring – they all knew already. Some were nudging each other and whispering stuff about me, their eyes gleaming. Some looked concerned, and several of the girls actually came and put their arms round me. That was somehow worse.

  ‘It’s OK,’ I kept saying. ‘We’re fine. It’s good to be back home. It wasn’t that great at Sean Godfrey’s.’

  They rolled their eyes pityingly, not believing a word of it.

  Even Miss Oliver knew. Maybe Cam had texted her. She didn’t say much, but she patted me lightly on the shoulder as she walked past my desk, and at lunchtime she beckoned me over for a little word.

  ‘How are you doing, Jess?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m fine, Miss Oliver,’ I said.

  ‘That’s good. And Mum?’

  ‘She’s fine too. She’s going to sort everything out and show Sean Godfrey that we’re fine without him.’

  ‘I’m sure she will. She’s a woman of great character, your mum,’ said Miss Oliver.

  She looked out for me in the playground too. The other kids kept going on about Sean Godfrey, asking why he’d broken it off with Mum.

  ‘He didn’t! She dumped him!’ I insisted, but they wouldn’t believe me.

  Tyrone still didn’t believe me either, which was dead irritating seeing as he was supposed to be my friend. He went on and on about Sean Godfrey until my ears shrivelled at the sound of his voice.

  ‘Will you stop it!’ I burst out, and ran off to the Peace Garden. I sat on the bench by myself, wondering how Mum was getting on. I was worrying about Alfie too, though I knew Cam would make a fuss of him. I was missing him dreadfully. I tried to summon up Wolfie and Faithful and Pom-Pom and Snapchat for comfort, but they wouldn’t come alive properly. They were pale shadows of themselves, scarcely visible in the sunlight. I tried whistling their magic tune. That had always made them come running, but now they stayed as still as statues, not a bark, not a lick from any of them.

  ‘That’s a pretty tune,’ said Miss Oliver, coming into the garden and sitting down beside me. ‘I didn’t know you could whistle, Jess.’

  ‘Mum taught me,’ I said. ‘I can do a wolf-whistle too. Want to hear it?’

  ‘Maybe not just now,’ she said.

  We didn’t say very much more, but it was comforting sitting together all the same. I wasn’t the slightest bit scared of Miss Oliver now. You can’t really be in awe of anyone once you’ve seen them in their swimsuit.

  Mum was late coming to collect me. Not just five minutes late – more like fifteen. I stood there by the school gate, nibbling the skin on my bottom lip, wondering where she was. What else had gone wrong? Had Alfie run away? Had our flat been vandalized as well as our old car? Had Mum gone back to Sean Godfrey?

  I fidgeted from one foot to the other, banging my thighs with my clenched fists. I closed my eyes and counted to a hundred, but when I looked at the road again, I couldn’t see the Cadillac. What if Mum had had an accident? Maybe she’d started crying again and her eyes were too blurry to see properly and she’d smashed the car.

  My tummy was so tight and painful I had to bend over.

  ‘Jess?’ Miss Oliver was standing beside me.

  ‘My tummy hurts,’ I said, straightening up gingerly.

  ‘You poor thing. Try taking a few deep breaths.’

  ‘Mum’s late,’ I said, sucking in my breath.

  ‘Breathe through your nose, not your mouth! Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s probably just got held up in traffic.’

  And just as Miss Oliver was saying this I saw a gleam of pink in the distance. I breathed in, I breathed out, my tummy unknotted, and Mum drew up beside us.

  She was looking anxious. ‘I’m so sorry, Jess. Was she getting in a state, Miss Oliver? I know I shouldn’t park here, but I needed to get to her as soon as possible.’

  ‘That’s all right, Ms Beaker – Tracy. I was just keeping Jess company.’ Miss O