Little Darlings Read online

  ‘How are things at home?’ Lucy asks, trying another tack.

  ‘They’re fine too,’ I lie. ‘Please can I go and have my lunch now, Lucy?’

  I get away from her, unable to bear the thought of telling her that my dad’s walked out and my mum keeps crying and I don’t know what to do. She finds out anyway, because the head of the Infants has a word with Claudia. Poor Sweetie has wet herself in class and is terribly upset about it. They’ve put her in dry knickers and given her a little plastic carrier bag containing the wet ones. It’s like Sweetie’s banner of shame and she’s scarlet in the face. Ace is hot and flustered too – he’s been in a fight.

  ‘So I had to tell the teacher that things were . . . very disturbed . . . at home. I didn’t want Ace to get into trouble when it isn’t really his fault,’ says Claudia. ‘He’s just upset. I’m sure he didn’t really mean to bite that other little boy.’

  ‘Yes I did,’ says Ace. ‘I’m Tigerman and I go round biting all the bad people.’

  He roars and pretends to bite Sweetie. She’d normally simply give him a shove, but she shrinks away from him now, looking woebegone. I try to give her a cuddle, but she hunches up, thumb in her mouth. She kicks the bag with her wet knickers to the other side of the car.

  ‘Not near me! I don’t like smelly wet knickers!’ Ace yells meanly, because they’re inside the bag and don’t smell at all.

  Sweetie bursts into tears.

  ‘Don’t cry, Sweetie,’ I say. ‘Anyone can have an accident. Ace wets himself heaps of times, you know that.’

  ‘No I don’t!’ Ace roars.

  ‘He’s only little so it doesn’t count,’ Sweetie sobs mournfully.

  ‘Darling, it truly doesn’t matter,’ says Claudia. ‘Goodness, I’ve wet my wretched knickers in my time.’

  ‘But not in front of everyone,’ says Sweetie. ‘I didn’t even know it was going to happen. I was feeling sad because we were all talking about our daddies, and then whoosh, it just came out! They all saw because it made a puddle and they laughed at me. You won’t tell Mummy, will you, Claudia?’

  ‘Well, perhaps Mummy needs to know you’ve had an unhappy day, darling,’ says Claudia uneasily.

  We drive along the road towards our house. There are a couple of photographers waiting as Claudia struggles to get the car through the security gates. They click and flash at us through the windows, though Claudia shouts at them angrily. Ace pulls faces at them through the window but Sweetie shrinks away in terror.

  ‘They’ll see I’ve got the wrong knickers on! They’ll guess I’ve wet myself! Oh help me, help me, they’re looking!’ she whimpers.

  ‘Don’t be silly, Sweetie, they can’t possibly tell,’ I say, wondering what the paps are doing back outside our house. They haven’t waited there for years. Perhaps Dad’s come back and Mum was waiting on the doorstep with open arms, and they’ve photographed the reunion, and now Mum and Dad have fallen in love all over again and are already planning to renew their wedding vows?

  I don’t think so. There’s no sign of Dad indoors. Mum is up now, stamping around the house, closing all the curtains so the photographers can’t get any pictures with long-range cameras.

  ‘They know already,’ she says, calling them very rude names. She’s got a glass of wine in her hand, carrying it wherever she goes. She keeps spilling it and then refilling it. She gives Sweetie a kiss and ruffles Ace’s hair distractedly but barely listens when Claudia tells her about school.

  ‘Never mind, never mind. I’ve got more important things to worry about now,’ says Mum. ‘Take the children off for their tea, Claudia, for God’s sake. I’ve got a splitting headache.’

  ‘If you keep on drinking like that you’ll only make it worse,’ Claudia mutters as she drags Sweetie and Ace away upstairs for a wash.

  I go over to Mum, who’s now lying on the sofa, her hand over her eyes. I sit down on the sofa beside her.

  ‘Sunset! You’re pulling the cushion lopsided. Please go and have your tea.’

  ‘I could massage your poor head, Mum, and try to make it better. Look, like this.’ I touch her gently on the temple but she swats my hand away.

  ‘I know you mean well, Sunset, but for pity’s sake, leave me alone.’

  So I stand up and slope off. I notice a little torn-up scattering of newspaper in the corner. It’s just little bits so it’s impossible to piece together, but I know what to do now. Up in my room I google Dad’s name and the tabloid on my computer, and a photo of Dad flashes onto the screen – Dad and Big Mouth.

  Dad is wearing a ridiculous cowboy hat tipped at a silly angle. He’s got one hand up making a peace sign. His other arm is round Big Mouth’s shoulders. She’s staring up at him, her mouth very big and black in the photo. She’s wearing tiny shorts that wouldn’t even fit Sweetie, and very high heels. The caption reads: Danny Kilman and his new friend Lizzi Shaw leaving Beaches nightclub at 2 a.m. Danny and Lizzi met on the set of their new film Milky Star. Danny insists they’re just good mates – but they were seen getting very close and personal in the VIP section of Beaches earlier in the evening. Tut tut, Danny! Up to your old ways?

  I put my hand over Lizzi Big Mouth, blotting her out. I stare hard at Dad.

  ‘You can’t just go off with her, Dad,’ I whisper. ‘What about Mum and Sweetie and Ace and me?’

  Dad stares back, making his silly sign, tipping his hat, not caring. Is this it? Isn’t he ever coming back?

  It doesn’t look like it. He stays away all week. Every day when I Google the tabloids there are new pictures of Dad and Lizzi reeling out of different clubs and restaurants, climbing into cars, even buying bags of sweets and chocolates in a late-night shop like a pair of greedy children.

  Dear Destiny,

  I wonder if you’ve seen the photos of our father in the papers? It is so awful. He has gone off with this horrible actress, Lizzi. She is only eight years older than me. She is young enough to be Dad’s daughter too. No, she could be his GRAND-daughter. You should be glad Dad’s not part of your life. I hate him. But I also miss him. It’s so awful that he seems to have forgotten us altogether. Mum keeps crying, and don’t tell anyone but she’s drinking all the time too, and last night she was sick on the stairs. She told our housekeeper, Margaret, that it was Ace who’d been sick, which was really mean, but Margaret didn’t believe her and they had a big row.

  It is so horrible here now. Everyone is so cross and unhappy. Sweetie has all these wonderful new toys – a doll as big as herself and a shop with real sweets, but she doesn’t play with them much – and Ace keeps breaking all HIS toys.

  I’m too old for toys of course. Well, I did try to play with my doll’s house – you know, the one I keep in my wardrobe. I rearranged all the furniture and tried making new clothes for all the little teddies and people, but then I got fed up. What I mostly do now is write songs. They’re not very good – in fact they’re total rubbish, but I like doing it. There’s one sad one I think you might like. It’s called ‘In My Black Clothes’. I’ve written it out for you on a separate sheet. I copied you. I wear black clothes now. I hope you don’t mind.

  I do hope your concert went well. I wish I could have been there too. I am so glad you’re my sister.

  Love from Sunset

  Destiny wrote back to me immediately.

  Dear Sunset,

  I can’t believe Danny could do this. Mum says she’s sure it’s just a temporary mad fling and he’ll soon see he’s made a BIG mistake and come running back. Yes, we’ve seen the photos in the paper and can’t understand it. This Lizzi isn’t even very pretty. Your mum is heaps prettier (and if I’m saying this it must be true, because I’ve no reason to like your mum seeing as she was so rude to me and MY mum.)

  Mum says Danny is a family man at heart and wouldn’t ever walk out on you permanently. I said he didn’t mind walking out on US, but Mum says that’s not fair, he didn’t even know I existed until that day at the premiere of Milky Star. Well, he does now, and