Kiss Read online

  'They r a n g up yesterday evening, after you'd gone. They want me and the boys to play at this birthday party and they're paying – fifty quid, how cool is that!'

  'Your band?' I said. 'Oh. Well. Good for you.' I tried to edge round him.

  'Will you come, Sylvie?' said Jake.

  'Come where?' said Miranda, materializing behind me.

  'This party. My band's playing,' said J a k e proudly. 'You can come too.'

  'I don't think I can make it, Jake,' I said, rushing past. There! He could get Miranda to go

  – t h a t was surely w h a t he wanted.

  'But you don't know when it is!' J a k e called after me.

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  I pretended not to h e a r him. He couldn't very well follow me right into t h e girls' toilets. I charged into t h e cubicle and faced the worst. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, but I still h a d PE to contend with.

  'Sylvie?' Miranda called, outside my cubicle.

  'Why don't you want to go to Jake's party?'

  'It's a birthday party. It'll probably be some little kid wanting to do a bit of head-banging with all his mates. No one sane would employ J a k e for a real party. His band is unbelievably awful.'

  'OK, point taken. I expect I'll be on some heavy date with Paul anyway' said Miranda.

  I m u t t e r e d a very rude sentence.

  'What? Hey, t h a t ' s my boyfriend you're describing so graphically,' said Miranda. She didn't sound too perturbed. 'What's he done to upset you?'

  'He h a s n ' t done anything to me!

  'To Carl? Hey, have you found out about this fight?'

  'No,' I said quickly.

  'Are you sure you don't know something?' said Miranda. 'Hey, Sylvie, what are you doing in there? Have you got galloping diarrhoea or something?'

  'Shut up! I've got my period,' I hissed.

  'Oh. Right. Have you got a tampon then?'

  'No.'

  ' 'S OK, I've got one in my school bag. Half a tick.' She passed one under the door.

  'I can't use them,' I whispered.

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  'What? I can't h e a r you.'

  'Miranda! Look, I don't w a n t to announce this to t h e whole world. I don't use tampons, I can't get t h e m to work, OK? They're too big or I'm too little, whatever. Shall I broadcast it on the Tannoy system?'

  'Yes please,' said Miranda, giggling. 'Try my tampon. Go on, it's a special little one.'

  She gave me full instructions on how to use them. I prayed no one else was in the toilets.

  But eventually I triumphed.

  'Yay! I've m a n a g e d it. Oh God, w h a t a palaver!' I said, coming out of the cubicle and washing my hands.

  'You're acting like you've never had a period before, Little Titch,' Miranda teased.

  'Well. It is my first time if you must know'

  'Really! I started when I was ten.'

  'Typical. Precocious brat.'

  'That's me, babe. You come to your Aunty Miranda whenever you need practical advice.

  W h a t lesson have I got next? I can never remember at this stupid school.'

  'I've got PE,' I said grimly.

  'Poor you. I h a t e prancing around in those awful baggy school knickers. God, they're such depressing garments.'

  'Lucy wears two pairs of knickers when she's got h e r period,' I said.

  'Oh, Lucy would. She'll wear two pairs of knickers the first time she goes out with a boy,'

  said Miranda.

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  We giggled unkindly. I knew I was being mean b u t it made me feel so much better.

  I was still desperately worried about Carl, b u t I told myself he'd manage somehow. Boys h a d fights all the time. No one would know why.

  I went round to see Carl as soon as I got back from school b u t he wasn't there.

  'Isn't it his d r a m a night?' said Jules. 'Do you know when A Midsummer Night's Dream is going to be performed?'

  'Oh God, an all-boy Midsummer Night's Dream?' said J a k e . 'What's Carl playing? Please tell me it's not Titania.' He s t a r t e d r u n n i n g about t h e kitchen, flicking back i m a g i n a r y long hair a n d flouncing non-existent skirts, pro-claiming, 'Begone, proud Oberon. Where are my fairies?'

  'Do you really t h i n k you're funny, J a k e ? ' I said, and slammed out of t h e i r kitchen.

  I went and m a d e myself a sandwich at home and sent Carl a text.

  R U OK? HOW IS PAUL SITUATION? C U L8R. LOVE S

  254

  He didn't reply. I got a text from Miranda instead.

  RAJ JUST TEXTED ME THIS!!!

  SOME YR 9 BOY IS SENDING ROUND IMAGES OF YOU

  TOPLESS TO ALL HIS GRUBBY LITTLE MATES – WITH

  COMMENTS. SHALL I SUMMON FORTH HIT SQUAD

  AND EXTERMINATE HIM? LOVE R. P.S. HE'S ALSO

  STARTING GAY-BASHING YR NICE PAL CARL.

  I rang Miranda immediately.

  'Oh God, Miranda, what's he saying?'

  'I don't know exactly, something about me and my figure and w h a t he'd like to do. In his dreams, matie! As if I'd let him n e a r me now.

  Still, it's kind of weird being a telephone pin-up.'

  'No, n o — '

  'I know you told me not to, but t h a t was kind of like a dare. It was j u s t a bit of fun—'

  'Never mind about you and your silly photo!

  What's he saying about Carl?'

  'It's not silly. It's r a t h e r a good photo, actually.

  I'm not totally topless. I've got this silky little jacket and my boobs j u s t peep out. I tell you, t h e Sun would pay a fortune for it. Maybe this is the s t a r t of a whole new career—'

  'Miranda. Please. Tell me about Carl.'

  'Well, there's nothing to tell. Raj says they're j u s t all picking on him, saying he's gay. I m u s t admit, I have wondered myself, b u t you've always gone on and on about him being your boyfriend, you funny girl.'

  'You wanted him as your boyfriend!'

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  'Of course, because he's gorgeous and funny and imaginative – which, come to think of it, definitely makes him gay. Still, it's every girl's fantasy, isn't it? You're the one girl in the world who can make him change his mind. So, is he utterly gay, Sylvie, or simply undecided? And why do you think Paul has suddenly grown three heads and is acting so grossly? I mean, I u n d e r s t a n d if he w a n t s to send a photo of my tits to all his pervy little pals because they are pretty spectacular, b u t I never thought he'd be a creepy fascist fag-hater. They were best friends, for God's sake.' Miranda paused. I could hear h e r mind going tick-tick-tick.

  'Oh!' she said. 'Did he try it on with Paul?'

  I said nothing. I didn't need to.

  'So that's why they h a d the fight! Oh God, Paul's patheticl Well, I think we'll cross him off my list. To be honest, he always came a very poor second to Carl.'

  'How was Carl taking it? Did Raj say he seemed very upset? What exactly were they saying?'

  'I don't know. You know how stupid boys can be. Oh dear, everything's adding up now. Poor Carl. Shall I come round?'

  'No, no! He isn't at home anyway, he's out at his d r a m a club.'

  'Paul's in t h a t too, isn't he? Oh dear, they'll be acting out their own little drama. You go round later though, and give Carl a big kiss and h u g from me and tell him Paul's a little shit and 256

  I'm not having any more to do with him, OK?'

  I tried sending another text to Carl the moment Miranda got off the phone but he still didn't reply. I tried phoning him in case he was on his way home b u t t h e phone switched straight to his message service. I didn't know w h a t to say. I didn't want to tell him t h a t all these people were talking about him, he'd h a t e it so. In t h e end I j u s t said, 'Hi, Carl, it's me. I'm thinking of you. Phone me as soon as you can.

  Lots of love.'

  Mum was late getting home from the building society. I nibbled at a n o t h e r sandwich. I wondered if I should s t a r t getting anything ready for supper.