Laces and Lace (Assassins #6) Read online

  Her heart sank since she knew there was something more he wanted. “A child?”

  Meeting her gaze, his eyes looked sternly into hers as he said, “Let’s nip this kid thing in the bud real quick, okay?”

  She could only blink as his hands slid into the waistband of her PJ pants. Her heart started to race because this was the one thing she thought would keep them apart, but by the way he was looking at her, she knew that she was completely wrong. They would work it out even though she had seen no way of that ever happening.

  “Did it ever cross your pretty mind that we could adopt?”

  “You don’t want that. You want a child of your own.”

  “No, I want to watch you be a mother. I want to love a little person with you and raise them to be a fantastic adult. Together.”

  Her lip started to quiver as she nodded. “I would love that, but I know you want a child of your own. Hell, I would love one too, but it just scares me so much.”

  “I know, baby, but just think of it this way. If it is a girl, then she will be the strongest little shit in the world. Yeah, her grandma didn’t win the fight, but her momma did, and you’ll teach her to be strong. We will be proactive, teach her about everything you went through, and if, by God, it happens, we will fight. Together,” he promised as the tears spilled over her cheeks. “Nothing can stop us as long as we have each other.”

  He made it sound so easy, so perfect, but could it be?

  “The main thing, Lacey, is that we have to do this together. We have to make the decision together. We have to work together because we will fail if we don’t. You can’t run off or shut down every time you get scared. Talk to me; let me help you fix it because that’s what I am here for. If you need counseling to help with the years that the cancer took, then, baby, tell me and I’ll be right beside you, holding your hand. I am here to love you and support you. That’s my job, and if you don’t depend on me, then what am I supposed to do?”

  She didn’t know how to answer him, so she didn’t as her gaze stayed locked with his, her heart clanking against her ribs. She could feel her body vibrating with each beat her heart took. Maybe she could use some counseling. It worked for other people, but she hadn’t gotten it because her dad wouldn’t allow her. It scared her, but with the thought of having Karson beside her, holding her hand and comforting her through all the pain, she knew she could do it. All she needed was him.

  Holding her face, his thumbs wiped away her tears as he said, “I can’t promise you today or even tomorrow because I don’t know what the future holds, but, Lacey, I’ll love you no matter what. You bring out the best in me, and I don’t want anyone but you. Every single second of every day I’ll love you, and I’ll never stop.”

  “I won’t either,” she vowed as she held him close. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

  “Good, then we’ll be fine.”

  She nodded slowly as he hugged her tightly. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled her face in his neck, her arms so tight around him, needing him more than he would ever know. He would never realize how much good he did her. How he took her soul and polished it up to perfection. He made her a better person. He gave her the strength and the love she needed.

  Kissing his neck, she remembered what Grady had said earlier and cleared her throat before whispering, “My mom had me even after fighting cancer because she said she wanted to live a life that she was proud of, and she knew that a child would do that for her.”

  Pulling back, he cupped her jaw as his eyes bored into hers. Swallowing past her sob, she admitted, “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do that. How can I put a death sentence on our child?”

  He scoffed. “You’re stronger,” he urged, cupping her jaw. “I know you are scared, baby, I get it, but how can you not have a baby if you want one? Yeah, it could happen, but what if it doesn’t? That’s years of joy we would miss out on, and you’ll regret that. Didn’t we say we didn’t want to live with regret anymore?”

  She nodded. “We did.”

  “Then tell me, baby, do you want to have a child?”

  She did. So fucking bad. Always had. She always imagined having Karson’s baby. Carrying it in her body and loving it more than she loved herself. As the tears fell in streams down her face, she nodded, holding his gaze. “Yes.”

  “Then let’s do it. Your mom was right. This is the only life we get, and together it will be the best life we can make it. Just never forget that I’ll be right there with you, helping you, supporting you. I’ll be here as long as you want me.”

  “And when I don’t, you’ll come out after me,” she added and he smiled.

  “Always.”

  Her stomach went nuts with butterflies as she looked deep into his eyes. Could they really do this and throw all caution in the wind? Would they be okay? One thing was for sure, she knew she could do anything with Karson beside her.

  “My life is complete with you in it.”

  “So is mine, and that’s why we have to work for this. Things that are worth a damn aren’t easy. You have to work at it, you have to nurture it and take care of it, or it will go to hell. And we can’t let that happen,” he said, his eyes watering a bit as he gazed into her face. “And I won’t. But I’m not going to lie. It’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna suck sometimes, but as long as we work together, we will be okay.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I know,” he said with a wink. “But my main concern is making you happy. While I would love to toss you up on this counter and try to get you pregnant, I know you need time to accept that we are going to do it. That we are going to welcome a child, our child, into this world and love it with all our hearts.”

  When a tear rolled down his chiseled face, she came undone, her heart aching with love for him as he said, “I honestly can’t wait for that moment, and I know it’s going to be the second best thing I’ve ever done.”

  Wiping away his tears, she asked, “What was the first?”

  “You.”

  She gasped for breath as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. “Never fails, you’ve always been the one to sweep me off my feet, no matter what.”

  “That’s damn right, wife, and that will never change,” he said with a wink. “Now let’s get you packed and get you home.”

  Smiling, she kissed his lips hard, their hearts beating as one. “Great plan, husband.”

  And it was. Did she have any kind of idea how their life would pan out? Nope, not at all, but as long as she was with Karson, it would be the life she needed. There was still so much to learn about each other and so much that could go wrong, but she didn’t care. She didn’t make a mistake taking the leap and marrying him after being apart for so long. A little voice inside her had told her it was the right decision, and she believed wholeheartedly that it was her mom. It had been hard, but she knew it was worth it. He was worth it.

  Because he was it.

  Her forever.

  By the tenth novel, I’m pretty sure my family and friends know I love them.

  Just in case though: Michael, Mikey, Alyssa, and Nick—y’all are my everything and I love you so much.

  Noey, Dad, Kristina, and Patsy, thank you and I love you.

  Bobbie, Nortis, and Stacey, y’all are my best friends and I love you so much.

  My editor, Lisa, you’re not only my editor, you’re my friend, and I’m so blessed to have you. Thank you for helping me grow, pick out covers, and for being totally awesome. Couldn’t be that without you.

  My cover designer, Regina, I swear to everything holy, you are amazing! This cover rocks, you rock!

  Thank you! My authors, you know who you are and why I love you.

  My readers, this couldn’t be done without you. I love you. All of you. With all my heart. Thank you.

  Ed Sheeran, you rock, dude, love you to pieces.

  My mom, there isn’t a second that passes that I don’t wish you could be here celebrating my accomplishments. I love you, Mo