Laces and Lace (Assassins #6) Read online

  Soon.

  Holding Lacey’s hand, Karson kissed the back of it as he turned onto their road. They’d had a wonderful night, full of fun and love. After a home-cooked meal of fried chicken and potatoes, they all hung out with the kids. Every second that passed, the harder Karson fell for Lacey. He was already insanely in love with her, but seeing her with Quinn, watching her wipe his nose and holding him when he started to cry, honestly pulled at every single one of Karson’s heartstrings.

  He wanted to watch her with a child of their own.

  A little girl with long dark hair and her green eyes, or even a little boy, tough like his daddy. He didn’t care; he just wanted to watch her grow their child, bring it into the world, and then love it with every single ounce of herself. She would make a great mother, and he knew he would make a great father.

  He’d always wanted kids.

  When Kacey was younger, before he turned into an asshole to her, he used to nurture her and looked out for her to the extreme. His mom would always joke that wherever Kacey was, Karson was right there beside her, making sure she was safe. He still did that a little now, but when they were younger, it was different. She was his baby sister. He had a duty to love and protect her. But then they got older and she turned really annoying, so he decided to beat her up most of the time. He smiled at the memories of tying her up to a tree or breaking her hockey sticks, or even sucking all the gas out of her car because he had run out of gas in his car. He was almost demonlike to her, but he loved her.

  And he would love his own little human just like he knew Lacey would.

  Kissing her hand again, he grinned over at her before pulling into the driveway. “Great night, I think.”

  She grinned back, her face blissful as she nodded. “Yeah, I had such a blast. I just love that family. Really. Good people.”

  “For sure,” he agreed as he shut the car off and got out. Running around the car, he helped her out and then into the house. As he hung their coats, he wondered if she had considered what they had talked about before. He hadn’t brought it up in some time; maybe it was time to try to talk about it again. As much as she may think they were rushing it, he didn’t think so. They were getting older, and he wanted to enjoy kids while he was young enough to do it. He didn’t want to be an old dad, unable to play hockey with his boy. He wanted to do it soon, and he hoped that she did too.

  “Hey, wife,” he said and she turned around, grinning as she took steps backward to the kitchen. She looked positively beautiful. She was meant to be in this house, with their children running around them. It was going to be perfect.

  “Hey, husband,” she answered back, her face bright and happy. It was the first time in weeks he’d seen her fully smile at him like that. It reminded him of the days they got married and when they bought the house. It was her true, from-the-heart smile. The one he was completely in love with. The one she blessed only him with.

  “The kids are great, huh?” he asked, following her into the kitchen.

  She nodded earnestly. “Yes, I love them dearly. The last couple times I’ve been there, I just feel at home. Elli is a great host, I think.”

  “True, she is. Quinn took to you, hard-core,” he said as she handed him a bottle of water.

  Her face lit up as she said, “Oh, I know, he’s my little sweetheart. I just want to squish his cheeks! He looks just like Elli, but then dark like Shea. It’s kinda awesome how adorable all of them are. A great mix of both of them.”

  “Yeah, Elli is gorgeous.”

  “She sure is, and Shea is a hunk,” she said with a sneaky grin that had him smiling harder.

  “Oh, is that right? You got a thing for my cap?” he asked, only halfway kidding, but her teasing smile gave her away as she wrapped her arms around him, kissing his chin.

  “Nope, only got a thing for you.”

  He met his lips to hers, running his hands down her back before cupping her ass. Parting for breath, he got lost in her eyes as his smile pulled at his lips. She was everything he ever wanted or needed, and the thought of having a baby with her caused his heart to come out of his chest. Squeezing her ass, he said, “I know we talked about his before and we said we’d wait, but I’d really like to discuss having kids soon,” he said. As quickly as the words left his mouth, her grin disappeared and her demeanor changed. “See, why do you do that? What?” he asked as she moved out of his arms and reached for her water.

  Taking a long pull of it, she shrugged her shoulders before expelling a breath and shaking her head. “I thought we were going to let this go for a while, just enjoy us.”

  “I know, but I’d like to start trying maybe, I don’t know. I just always thought we would have kids by now.”

  “Sure, but that was if we’d been together for the last nine years. We’ve been apart, Karson. It’s crazy just to jump into having kids,” she said; however he couldn’t help but feel like there was more.

  “I don’t think it is. We love each other. We are financially stable and we both love kids. I don’t want to be an old dad. Just waiting till now has us at forty-eight when the kid graduates. I want to be able to play with my kid, ya know?”

  “Yeah, I got you,” she said with a nod, but then she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, Karson,” she whispered. “I just don’t know.”

  “What don’t you know?” he asked, eyeing her. “Why do you shut down on me every time we discuss this? I feel like you don’t want kids or something.”

  As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew that they had some truth to them. But that couldn’t be. She loved kids; she would be a great mother, but even knowing that didn’t keep his heart from beating uncontrollably as he waited for her to answer.

  Looking up at him, her eyes were swimming with tears, and he didn’t understand until she whispered, “I don’t.”

  His head cocked to the side, and he was sure he’d heard her wrong, even though he knew he hadn’t. He’d heard her, but he still couldn’t believe it. “What?”

  Her lip wobbled as she sucked in a deep breath. “Karson, I don’t want kids.”

  His eyes squinted. “What? How? Why? That doesn’t make sense. You love kids.”

  She nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek, dropping over her jaw onto her blouse. “I do, very much so, but I don’t want kids of my own.”

  “Why?” he asked, unable to comprehend what was happening. It didn’t make sense. “How do you love kids but not fucking want them?”

  Her lip wobbled some more as she looked down at the ground. “Can we let this go?”

  “Fuck no, we are talking about this. I don’t understand.”

  “What is there to talk about? I don’t want to have kids. I won’t have kids! So if you want them, good luck, ’cause you aren’t having them with me,” she yelled, looking up at him, her eyes drowning in tears. They rolled down her cheeks in streams as she heaved for breath, looking away and letting a sob leave her lips. “I can’t do it.”

  “You can’t have kids?” he asked, but she shook her head, covering her mouth and leaving the kitchen. “That’s different, Lacey. Talk to me,” he said, taking ahold of her bicep and stopping her. “Don’t walk away from me. Talk to me.”

  As she looked up at him, his heart went in his throat. She was suffering and he didn’t know what to do. Did he allow her to walk away and leave it alone? No, he couldn’t. He had to know. “Talk to me.”

  Biting into her lip, she searched his eyes and then asked, “You really want kids badly, don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” he answered with a nod, and her tears came faster as she shut her eyes. “But I want to know why you don’t. Or can you not? Tell me something here.”

  “I can have them; I just refuse to,” she said through her tears, sniffling before wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

  “Why? Tell me why,” he urged. “Why are you holding this back? It’s me!”

  He could feel her heartbeat from where he was holding her arm. She was working h