Laces and Lace (Assassins #6) Read online

  Taking his mouth with her own, she closed her eyes as she squeezed his bicep, her tongue moving playfully with his as he continued to fuck her slowly. When her body went rigid underneath his, squeezing him so hard, he groaned loudly against her lips before pushing himself up and taking her by the backs of the knees. Holding her legs up, he pounded into her wildly, his face contorted in strong lines as he came inside her, his body jerking as his thrusts slowed and his grip on her backs of her knees loosened. Falling on top of her, he wrapped his arms beneath her head, holding her so close they shared the same breath as she got lost in his eyes.

  When his lips came near hers, she turned her face so that she could kiss him, but instead of kissing her, he said, “I don’t know how I’ll ever be the same after all that.”

  She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze as she took in the same breath he let out. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  He cupped her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone. “And I don’t know how I am going to open that door and walk out without you attached to me.”

  Don’t leave me then.

  The words were right there, but instead, she nodded as she tore her gaze from his. “I don’t know how I am going to let you.”

  Silence fell between them as his fingers played along her jaw and cheekbone. “I wish I would have never left.”

  “Me too,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes as she looked up to meet his gaze. The words lodged in her throat. So she cleared her throat, taking in a deep breath, and then somehow, she asked, “Why did you leave me, Karson?”

  He looked down at her lips, his fingers stilling at her face as he took in a deep breath. She could see his brow furrow, feel his heart pounding, and she hated how perplexed he looked, but she had to know. Her heart felt as if it was coming out of her chest in anticipation of his answer. She never could figure out what she did to lose him, but she knew his excuse of doing it for her was still bullshit. Who leaves someone they love because they assume it’s better for the other person? Shouldn’t she have had some say in that? She knew what she wanted, and that was Karson.

  That’s all she’d ever need.

  Kissing her temple, he whispered, “This is too deep for right now. Let’s go to sleep and we can talk about it tomorrow.”

  “But we will talk?” she asked, meeting his gaze, and he nodded.

  “Of course, baby, and I’ll answer anything you want to know.”

  That pleased her, so she wrapped her arms tightly around his broad chest, nuzzling her nose along his as her eyes drifted shut. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until sleep took her under in the black mass. Being wrapped in his strong, warm arms provided her with the best sleep of her life, but it was short-lived because when she woke up to the sun shining on her face, Karson was gone.

  She couldn’t believe it.

  He was gone.

  Really gone.

  After everything they did the night before, he just left.

  What the hell?

  Just to be sure though, she searched her apartment a second time, but there was no trace of him. Not even a left-behind sock in the haste of running. It was as if he had never even been there. As if it was all a dream, but she knew it wasn’t. She still felt him on her. She was aching between her thighs, her hips hurt from where he had manhandled her, and her heart was pounding in her chest from being near him the whole night. Or maybe it was from where she was running through the apartment looking for him like a chicken with its head cut off as she cried and tried to breathe.

  She just couldn’t believe it.

  Falling onto the bed, she closed her eyes as the tears leaked out. Taking in a deep breath, she let it out as she cried into a pillow. How could he just leave her like that? No goodbye, no see you later, no thank you, nothing! It was mind-blowing and heartbreaking all in one. Did she do something wrong? Did she expect too much? They never promised anything… No wait, he did; he promised they would talk. Maybe that’s why he left?

  Maybe he was too much of a fucking coward to talk to her and tell her why the hell he left her almost ten years back. How dare he! He came in, ripped open her chest, took her heart out, loved on it, and then smashed it in his large hands. She hadn’t felt so unbelievably perfect in years, so loved, so treasured, but just like he had ruined her all those years ago, he did a repeat performance. How stupid could she be?

  This was her fault. She was supposed to go in for closure and not get attached, but she did exactly what she wasn’t supposed to do. She got so fucking attached and expected him to be there. She was pathetic. Bringing her face out of the pillow so she could take in another deep breath, she sat up and let the sob escape her lips.

  She was the dumbest girl in Chicago.

  Why was she sitting here bawling over someone who she was supposed to be over, someone who had continually done nothing but break her heart over and over again. He had been trouble since the beginning. Since the moment she touched his gorgeous face, felt his lips against hers, she knew he was going to change her world. He’d had then and still had the power to completely engross her. Make her his. He was dangerous, but for some stupid reason, she was still in love with him. She knew it was insane, but as he’d moved inside her, held her face, and looked at her with those sinful caramel eyes, she knew that she loved him still. It was ridiculous and plain dumb, but she loved him with her whole being. It was time to be done, though. She had to be done. She couldn’t keep letting Karson King break her into billions of pieces because obviously that was his life plan.

  To fucking ruin her.

  Leaning against the headboard of her bed, she looked around her room and hated it. She used to love her room, thought the teal blue and brown was gorgeous. Her bed was comfortable and sucked her in for a decent night’s sleep, but now, the room was plain, so quiet, not like it was the night before when she and Karson filled it with sexy noises of pleasure. No, now it was eerily quiet with only the sounds of her sobs. It was the sound of her life.

  Quiet and lonely.

  Yes, she had a wonderful, successful job that she loved very much and was proud of, but when she came home, she was alone. When she got letters from cancer survivors about how her pieces helped them feel sexy again, she didn’t have anyone to cry with and be just blissfully happy. When she wanted to go to the movies, she went alone. When she wanted to eat somewhere ritzy, she had to go alone. Yeah, she had Rachel, but she was too busy with Grady and the boys. They were older now too; they would still do anything for each other, but she couldn’t just call, expecting Rachel to go hang out with her or even cry because she was lonely. Rachel had a family, and also, if Lacey did cry to her about being lonely, she would tell Grady and then he would be off trying to hook her up with some scumbag.

  Lacey would much rather be lonely than have that happen again.

  But for some crazy, fucked-up reason, she had thought that was all about to change. She honestly fell back into her eighteen-year-old self, planning their whole life. It was so easy, so perfect, but so obviously a mistake. As much as she hated to say it, her dad was right. Karson was no good for her.

  Ugh, why did she let this happen? She should have pushed him away when he kissed her! She should have kicked him in the balls! She should have said no! She shouldn’t still love him! Why, oh why, was she still so utterly in love with him? When a sob bubbled at the base of her throat, she closed her eyes tightly as it ripped through her, shaking her body.

  She loved him because she couldn’t stop if she tried, and boy, had she tried. Over and over again, but she couldn’t let him go. Yeah, he was trouble, but he was her trouble. He’d loved her with a fierceness, one that she hadn’t been able to get over in years. Even though he’d left her and she was mad, she had forgiven him somehow through the years. She couldn’t be mad at someone who, when she looked in his eyes, she knew loved her. Even when he was breaking up with her, she knew he was doing it because he had no choice, or he seriously believed his dumbass reasons, or whatever. She kn