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  “That’s not fair,” Lucas said with a shake of his head.

  “It would be a deal breaker for me.” Everyone turned to Shea and his eyes were intently on Tate. “I knew that I wanted kids when I started this thing with Elli. She wanted them too, and we were good. Now if after we started trying and she couldn’t have a child, that I would understand and would cope with but if she told me right out that she couldn’t, I would let her go.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to let her go. She makes me happy; she makes my life worth living, guys. She is my everything. My heart is invested in her, and I don’t want anyone else.”

  Tate could tell that no one knew what to say, until Lucas said, “If you are totally devoted to her then you would take the good with the bad. Audrey is a fantastic, sweet person. She will love you with everything inside her, and she deserves a guy who will love her just the same. If you don’t think you can, then cut her loose, dude, don’t hurt her anymore by making her think this is for real.”

  Lucas held Tate’s gaze for a long time, then Lucas shook his head, stood up and threw money on the table before walking away.

  “Shit,” Tate muttered as he got up, and followed Lucas out of the restaurant. “Lucas, just a minute.”

  Lucas looked back and waited for him at the doorway. When Tate reached him, they both walked out to the parking lot before Tate said, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Lucas shook his head, “I don’t want Audrey to get hurt again, and I thought you were the guy to make sure that never happened, but now you say this?”

  “I am just second guessing things, Lucas, I don’t want to hurt her. I love her.”

  “You keep saying that, but when you love someone you love all of them. Even the fucked up parts! Hell, look at me and Fallon! She was a walking train wreck before she finally got her head out of her ass. And now look at us, we are so fucking happy.”

  “I understand that, and I know that I won’t be happy without her,” Tate said, his chest hurting. He didn’t want to leave Audrey. He didn’t want to live life without her, but how was that fair for him to feel like this and not say anything? That was the whole point of having friends, so that he could talk about things that bothered him.

  “Have you told her?” Lucas asked.

  “No, I got this feeling this morning. I haven’t even thought it through. I just wanted to get everyone’s input and then I was going to talk to her about it if it is still bothering me. I’m not going to hurt her, Lucas.”

  “No one can make your mind up for you, Tate. You gotta do it. Is she worth it? Can you trade in one thing to have everything else? Because Audrey will love you for the rest of her life. She is very loyal, and you know that it true.”

  “I do.”

  Lucas shrugged his shoulders, “Then I have nothing else to say. This is all on you.”

  Tate watched as Lucas walked off, and didn’t move until little flakes of snow started to fall. Walking to his truck, he had the familiar feeling of his heart beating in overtime. His palms were sweaty, and even in the cold, he was starting to sweat along his back. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but it wasn’t working. He thought with his mind busy with his issues of him and Audrey, his anxiety would be the last thing he needed to worry about.

  He was wrong.

  After reaching for the handle four times, he finally pulled the door open, and climbed into his truck. He sat there for a long time, not only because he was scared to put the key in the ignition but also because he was thinking about his whole day. He had spent the morning with Audrey, wrapped up in her warmth, their legs tangled and their bodies touching in the most delectable places. She had made him breakfast and then he had to go. He had never been as sure about someone in his life as he made his way to the arena. He knew that he was going to be with Audrey forever. He even planned on telling her he loved her that night, but then Elli walked in carrying a dream that he realized he couldn’t have.

  It didn’t make sense though, he had seen Elli with Audrey, and he never felt like this. So what were these feelings? What the hell was going on? Like Phillip had said, he could adopt, he had even told Audrey that, and it wasn’t as if he was against it. He just wanted to be with Audrey, for forever.

  “Man, I am an idiot,” he muttered shaking his head.

  Why did he even say anything to the guys? He knew his answer; he knew what he wanted so why was he second guessing himself? He never did this. He was always confident about his decisions, and his decision was to be with Audrey.

  Children or no children.

  It was her and him to the end.

  He knew that nothing would change that either.

  With a satisfied grin on his face, he started the truck on the third try and then drove back to his condo. Audrey had said that she was making some cupcakes this morning, and that she needed him to test them. Tate had no problem with that. This was the life he wanted. He didn’t need anything more, just Audrey and her cupcakes. One day, after they had been married and enjoyed life with each other, they would see if she could have kids, if not, then they would adopt.

  Tate had made a big deal out of something that didn’t need to be a big deal. He was such an idiot.

  Shaking his head, he pulled into his driveway, and grabbed his bag. Heading to his door, he opened it, and threw his bag inside. That was the only reason he came to his place. So he shut his door and turned to Audrey’s. He opened the door with his key, and went inside.

  “Lucy, I’m home,” he said in a horrible Desi Arnaz accent. They had been watching a lot of old I Love Lucy re-runs. That Lucy was a hoot and hearing Audrey’s commentary on that show was better than any other show. When he passed the couch, he found Audrey at the counter with her phone in her hand, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. She had been crying, her nose was red, and her eyes were swollen. He knew at that moment that the conversation he had at lunch had made its way back to her.

  “You told Lucas about me not being able to have kids?”

  Fuck.

  Chapter 23

  All Tate could think was that he had really fucked up.

  Panic stirred in his chest, his palms started to sweat all over again, and his heart tripled in speed. The way he was feeling at that moment was different from anything else he had ever felt. Of all the anxiety attacks he had ever had, it never felt like the world was closing in on him, but with this one, it did. He didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t sure how he was going to fix this, or if it was because he could see the hurt in Audrey’s eyes and knew things were about to get really bad. He never meant for her to find out, and he definitely never meant to hurt her.

  “You told Lucas, Tate? Lucas! Didn’t you know that he would tell Fallon? I just had to explain my whole situation to her! Do you know how hard that was?!” she yelled. Tears streaked down her face as her lip quivered. Not looking up at him, she whispered, “She said that you were questioning the guys about me.”

  “Audrey, it’s not what you think,” Tate said, even though it was probably everything she thought.

  Shit, this is going to be bad.

  “It isn’t? Then what is it? Because from my understanding, you said that you weren’t sure you were okay with not having kids.”

  “Okay, I did say that but, baby--”

  “You told me I was enough!” she cried, “You said that you didn’t need a child of your own, that we could adopt if it came to that, that maybe one day I could have a baby! Was it all a lie!?!”

  “No, Audrey, please, listen to me--”

  “You promised!” she screamed, “You made me believe that we were good, that you were the person for me, and that this could be forever! You knew how I felt about this, how I hid it from you, how I didn’t even want to tell anyone and you told everyone!”

  “I know, and I’m sorry, baby, I had no one to talk to about it but my friends--”

  “You could have talked to me about it!! I’m the person it deals with! I’m the prob