Gently Falls the Bakula Read online

  ‘What is that?’

  ‘The fact that the husband recognized his wife’s sacrifice and named the book after her. That is what appeals to me more.’

  ‘Oh Shrimati, in today’s society it is very difficult to find women like Bhamati. They have changed so much.’

  It was three years since they were married and now, Shrimati was keen to enroll for her Ph.D. But around that time, Shrikant was posted to Delhi.

  Shrimati was sad. She did not want to part with Shrikant or the Ph.D. Shrikant reasoned, ‘Either I reject my offer to go to Delhi or you stay alone in Bombay to do your Ph.D. If I go to Delhi, I can come here only once a month.’

  ‘No Shri, neither option is acceptable. I don’t want you to forgo your promotion by rejecting this offer, nor do I want to stay alone. We will stay in Delhi for one year and I will take up my studies next year. Anyway north India has a lot of historical places that I can visit.’

  Shrimati had started compromising.

  ‘Shrimati, there is one more way. We can ask my mother to come and stay with you.’

  Though she did not say it, Shrimati knew very well that Gangakka wouldn’t agree.

  In the meantime, Gangakka’s life had also changed. There was a phone at home now. When Shrikant called her up to ask her about coming to Bombay to stay with Shrimati, Gangakka said, ‘I wish I could come and help your wife. She is just like a daughter to me. But I am planning to go on a pilgrimage for two months. Sheenappa’s wife is unwell. He has helped me when I was alone and you were still a child. So I have to help them now. Rama’s children may also come here to study. You tell me what I should do. I will listen to you.’

  So, Gangakka’s coming to Bombay was ruled out.

  Shrimati left for Delhi with Shrikant. For a person like her, neither very ambitious nor very courageous, such situations meant that her own priorities were always pushed to the lowest rung.

  Spending a year in the historic city of Delhi did not prove to be very difficult for Shrimati. It was a new place and she made new friends, so she did not get bored.

  ‘Shrikant, after we go back from Delhi, the lease period of our present house will be over. Where can we take up a new house? Can we afford to buy one?’

  ‘Shrimati, don’t worry. Now I can ask for a housing loan from my company.’

  ‘In that case, let’s buy a house in Versova, one that faces the sea.’

  ‘Why there, Shrimati? It is so far.’

  ‘Somehow, I am fascinated by the sea. I can sit in front of the water for any number of hours. I can view my dreams in the rise and fall of the waves.’

  ‘Oh Shrimati, please don’t get so poetic and dreamy. I cannot understand you. But one thing is certain, I cannot stay in Versova.’

  ‘Shri, without dreams life is nothing. Don’t you dream of becoming the director of a company?’

  ‘Come on. That is a practical dream.’

  ‘Okay. Where shall we buy the house?’

  ‘Let us see, somewhere in Santa Cruz or Bandra, maybe.’

  Many unexpected things happen in life, and Shrikant’s life was not an exception. His career had gone very well, his boss was extremely happy with his performance in Delhi and now he was being promoted as a project manager and sent to Los Angeles, USA.

  Shrikant had been to the US a few times before but this time, he was going to stay there for three years.

  Mr Kelkar had assured him that the company would take care of his wife’s travel as well as their living expenses for three years.

  Shrimati was thrilled. She took loads of presents from Delhi for her parents, Rama and her children and Gangakka, before leaving for the US.

  With the sudden affluence, Gangakka could afford to make some changes around her. She got the house repaired and did it up with modern interiors. She acquired several new household appliances. She had more time to gossip now. But her feelings towards Shrimati had not changed, even after five years of her marriage to Shrikant. She had never shown any affection towards Shrimati. Though there was a phone at home, she never called her. Shrimati tried her level best but failed miserably to win her mother-in-law’s confidence. Gangakka no longer taunted her about dowry. Now it was about not having children.

  ‘Shrimati, wasn’t Sharada your classmate? It seems she delivered her third child last week. I had gone to Vandana’s son’s birthday and she told me. Her son is very good-looking.’

  Rama poured fuel on the conversation, ‘Remember Indira, Desai’s daughter whom Anna Chari had proposed for Shrikant? She gave birth to twin boys. Her in-laws are indeed very lucky.’

  Shrimati felt suffocated in this atmosphere but did not have any answer to their comments. Many a times she would feel like telling them to advise their son instead. But her shyness wouldn’t allow her.

  Shrimati had once said to Shrikant, ‘Shri, we have been married for five years now. All our friends are already parents. I feel like having a child now.’

  But Shrikant was very adamant regarding them having children.

  ‘So what, Shrimati? We got married at an early age because our circumstances were different. I am hardly twenty-eight years old. Let us first settle down. Many of our classmates are still not married. Look at Ravi, Anthony . . . Let’s not be in a hurry to have a baby.’

  How could she tell Gangakka all this?

  Kamala was very happy and thanked god that her son-in-law was doing very well and her daughter was happy, unlike herself. Shrimati’s father Shrikantrao, on the other hand, boasted saying that though Shrikant wasn’t the proper match, still they got their daughter married to him. He claimed that Shrikant’s prosperity was because of his daughter’s horoscope.

  At times Kamala did feel bad that Shrimati did not have any children yet, but she was not like Gangakka, to talk directly about it. She was aware that Shrimati was very sensitive. So she indirectly told her daughter that it was the right time to have children. Shrimati replied, ‘Avva, I am aware of it but for this, Shrikant should agree.’

  Gangakka was very happy that her son was doing well but at the same time, she was extremely unhappy that Shrimati too was going abroad. So when Shrimati would visit Hubli, Gangakka would find some reason to go out of station and wouldn’t return until Shrimati had left. She just couldn’t stand Shrimati’s presence. If at all Gangakka was present, Shrimati was not allowed to work in the kitchen because Gangakka never liked Vaishnava food. The situation in Shrimati’s mother’s place was no different. Her grandmother found fault with her and said Shrimati had taken her mother-in-law’s side and become a Smartha.

  But the real reason for Shrimati’s unhappiness was the lack of love and affection from Gangakka and Rama. No matter what she did, it was wrong in their eyes. Shrimati was upset because somewhere within herself she felt she had failed. She acutely felt that she was an unwanted member in Shrikant’s family. And yet, she hoped that they would love her and accept her some day.

  She knew love and affection cannot be taught or purchased with money. The sincere feeling of fondness should come from within the heart. It doesn’t matter if the person has wealth, intelligence or beauty. In her case, though it was a futile exercise, still she was hopeful that some day things would change. Sometimes, when she was alone in her mother’s place, many things would come to her mind.

  Professor Rao and his wife knew Shrimati very well and they had been very keen that Shrimati should marry their elder son who was a doctor in the US. But Shrimati had declined that proposal politely because of her commitment to Shrikant. Perhaps if she had married someone whose parents liked her, things would have been different. Of course, she never regretted marrying Shrikant. His love and affection was complete and he was loyal to her. But to live in society, one required a lot of support from the family too! Even after so many years she never felt at home in Gangakka’s house. She was still an outsider. But how could she explain all this to her mother or to Shri?

  Vandana’s mother was nice to her but because Shrikant was doing so well and