The Mother I Never Knew Read online

  ‘Weren’t she and her son subjected to a great injustice?’

  ‘Of course they were. This has been going on since the ancient times. It’s always a goat that is victimized and not a tiger. A woman is usually meek and humble and that’s why Bhagavva suffered the way she did. Do you know that if a retarded baby was born in Europe, people would say that the woman had delivered Satan? They’d throw stones at her and eventually kill her. If a fair child were born to dark parents, people suspected the mother of infidelity. Even now, there are people who burn their wives and daughters-in-law alive for bearing a female child. Though it is the man’s chromosomes that decide the baby’s gender, it’s the woman who’s punished.’

  Venkatesh was sad, ‘My father had once told me that he was supposed to travel by a certain train, but he missed it. That train met with an accident later and he considered his life after that to be a rebirth and a second chance for him. But Bhagavva shaved her head and lived like a widow from the age of sixteen until now.’

  Gauri was curious, ‘But Anna, how did their names come in the newspaper?’

  ‘It was a mistake due to all the chaos. Grandma Champakka and my father weren’t even on the train and the railway office got it wrong. Then Father got through the railway department exams and his transfers were in distant places like Delhi and Jammu. It must have been a good reason for both mother and son to get away from this whole episode. Later, Grandma got Father married to my gentle mother from distant Gundlupet, a village near Ooty. My mother must have had a horrible time with her ferocious mother-in-law. And yet, she was luckier than Bhagavva.’

  ‘I agree, Anna,’ Gauri said.

  ‘I’m sure that my mother didn’t know anything about her husband’s first marriage. I think that’s why Grandma Champakka didn’t allow us to get close to any relatives. We all remained unaware of my father’s past.’

  ‘Leave it, Anna. What happened is in the past now. Tell me, how can I help you? What do you want to do?’

  ‘I’ve thought about it. I want to go to my father’s locker in the State Bank of India tomorrow, but your mother keeps all the locker keys and I can’t just ask her. I haven’t opened the locker in years and she’ll ask me a hundred questions.’

  After Madhav Rao’s death, the locker was held in Venkatesh’s and Gauri’s names jointly since it contained Venkatesh’s parents’ jewellery and gold. Shanta had lockers in other banks, and didn’t really care for the contents of this locker. Gauri replied, ‘Relax, Anna. I understand. This is not the time to tell Amma about Bhagavva. I’ll get the key from her.’

  Both mother and daughter often discussed Gauri’s lack of fascination for jewellery. She preferred to wear two thin gold bangles and small stud earrings. Shanta would scold her, ‘You must wear more gold. What will people think about us?’

  Gauri didn’t argue with her mother, nor did she get angry.

  When she asked for the locker key from her mother the next evening, Shanta was very happy thinking that Gauri was finally getting interested in jewellery; but she still inquired, ‘Why do you want to go to the locker? There are enough ornaments at home for you to choose from.’

  ‘Amma, your jewellery is very heavy for my taste. I want to wear something light for Ravi’s engagement. Since I have some time before my exams start, I want to check if there’s something suitable for me in the locker.’

  ‘Well, I don’t think you’ll fancy anything there. Those ornaments belonged to your great-grandmother. You won’t like them—they’re quite old and unfashionable.’

  ‘But I like vintage jewellery,’ insisted Gauri.

  Shanta did not believe her, but just then, she heard Ravi’s and Pinki’s voices coming in through the main door of the house. She quickly gave the key to Gauri.

  Gauri ran to her father, ‘Oh, here’s the key. We can go to the bank tomorrow.’

  Absent-mindedly, Venkatesh took the key from her.

  ‘What do you want from the locker, Anna?’

  ‘Bhagavva’s family gifted Father a ring with the Sanskrit letter “bha”; it’s the only proof of their marriage. I want to see if it’s in the locker.’

  ‘Are you crazy? Don’t you think your grandmother would have thrown it away? Even if it did exist, Amma must have melted it along with other old jewellery and got something else made. I don’t think that the ring will be in the locker.’

  ‘We’ll find out tomorrow, Gauri.’

  That night, neither father nor daughter could sleep well.

  In the morning, Shanta said to Venkatesh, ‘I have to go to a meeting right now but I want to speak to you about something. Let’s talk soon.’

  ‘Yes, there’s something I want to share with you too.’

  An hour later, Venkatesh and Gauri went to the bank in Basavanagudi. When they opened the locker, they found numerous necklaces, anklets, armlets, rings and earrings. It was a wonder that Shanta had never touched them. She had enough money to buy new ones, anyway.

  ‘Why did Mother never use any of this?’ Venkatesh wondered. He remembered his mother wearing only four thin gold bangles and a black-beaded mangalsutra. ‘Perhaps Grandma didn’t allow her to. I’ve never seen these at home.’

  He made a thorough search of the locker’s contents but could not trace the ring. He was disappointed. ‘You were right, Gauri,’ he said, ‘that ring is not here. Let’s close the locker.’

  Gauri stopped him, ‘Wait, Anna!’ She chose a traditional gold necklace and said, ‘I have to take something from the locker, or else Amma will get suspicious.’

  She was right. Gauri said, ‘Let’s go home, Anna. I’m getting late for college.’

  Venkatesh went home in low spirits. He remembered his father and his room in their old house in Basavanagudi. There was a big wooden box in that room. ‘Appa used to keep it locked all the time. Nobody was allowed to touch it. Maybe the ring is in that box. Where’s that box now?’ he wondered.

  After a few minutes, Venkatesh decided to search the attic. He climbed up there and found Ravi’s old cradle, an old brass coffee filter, Champakka’s grinding stone, a brass statue of Lord Shiva—and finally, he saw the brown wooden box tucked away in a corner. He was thrilled. Immediately, he opened the box—and started sneezing. The dust had triggered his allergies. After the bout of sneezing had subsided, he looked into the box again. He found an official-looking document and some religious booklets; the papers had yellowed with age and become brittle. That’s when he saw it—a small brown pouch. Carefully, he opened it and saw the glint of a gold ring. As he pulled the ring out, he saw the letter ‘bha’ engraved on it—exactly like Bhagavva had told him.

  Venkatesh had found his proof—Madhav Rao had concealed his love for his first wife from his mother. Inside the pouch, Venkatesh found a letter and a money order form addressed to ‘Bhagirathi, c/o Gopal Kulkarni, Shurpali, Taluka Jamakhandi, District Bijapur, Karnataka’. The money order had been returned because the addressee was not found. Venkatesh recognized his father’s handwriting in the letter:

  Forgive me, Bhagi. I don’t believe my mother’s accusations. Please have patience. I will come and get you when I find a job. Meanwhile, take care of your health. I am sending you this money that I saved from my scholarship, but don’t tell anyone. When you get this, write to me immediately at my college address. I will write more in detail the next time.

  Yours, Setu

  So his father had tried to contact Bhagavva without his mother’s knowledge. But the money order never reached her because she had already left Shurpali, and they never met again.

  Venkatesh’s eyes fell upon the old document in the wooden box. He opened it and read the contents. It was a legal document confirming a change of name from Setumadhav Rao to Madhav Rao.

  Venkatesh felt sad, ‘Had Appa been able to speak during the last days of his life instead of being paralysed, maybe he would have told me his sec