The Mother I Never Knew Read online

  Rupinder loved to socialize and make friends. So she walked up to the guest house and introduced herself to Dulari, who was a middle-aged woman busy with her household chores. But Dulari was a woman of few words and they barely had a conversation.

  Two days later, Rupinder went there again and asked Dulari about Nirmala. Dulari changed the subject and told her that Nirmala needed to rest and that she did not want to meet anyone.

  After a week, Rupinder saw Nirmala for the first time. The sixteen-year-old was sitting in the veranda reading a book. When Rupinder approached the girl, she immediately understood why Nirmala did not want to meet anyone. She initiated a friendly conversation and the two women struck up a close friendship within a few weeks.

  One day, Nirmala caught hold of Rupinder’s hand and said, ‘Please don’t tell anyone about me.’

  Rupinder knew what she was talking about. Nirmala was pregnant—just like her—and the two women were expecting to deliver within a month of each other. Nirmala did not want people in the village to know about her condition and that was why everyone was told that she was suffering from an illness. She told Rupinder, ‘My husband has made me pregnant and left me. I’ll give birth to the baby here and go back to my village.’

  Rupinder realized that Nirmala was not telling her the truth, but she did not pursue the matter.

  Two months went by. One evening, Rupinder went into labour. After a long and painful night, she delivered a stillborn baby. Immediately, her parents-in-law were informed about the tragedy.

  Rupinder was overcome with sorrow. She knew that when she went back to her husband, she would have to hear her mother-in-law’s sarcastic comments in addition to dealing with the loss of her baby and being overworked. Surinder had never been a companion or shown her any form of kindness. He did not care about her at all. When she had become pregnant after years of marriage, she had dreamt of a baby who would change her life—he would hold her hand and share her difficulties when he grew up. Maybe he’d be with her in old age too. But her dreams had been shattered into tiny little pieces; she refused to eat or drink and cried all the time.

  Nirmala became concerned about her health. To distract her friend, she decided to share her story with Rupinder.

  She said that her father was Choudhary Charan Singh, who was a big zamindar and the most powerful man in his village. He was a large-hearted but a short-tempered man and viewed the world in black and white. People were either his friends or his enemies. He had two stepbrothers who loathed him and often taunted him, ‘What’s the use of all your land and money if there is no male heir to succeed you?’

  The comment always irked Choudhary. He only had a daughter while his stepbrothers had two sons each. Choudhary thought about it and decided to marry his daughter into an influential family. Then his stepbrothers would not be able to pass any more comments.

  His good friend, Lal Mohan, was a zamindar in a nearby village. If Nirmala married Lal Mohan’s son, Brij Mohan, then that would make their position stronger in both their villages and they would have a better political future together. Choudhary had heard that Brij Mohan was soft on women and liquor but this did not bother him. It was common in their culture, after all. So he promised his friend that when the time came, Brij Mohan would become his son-in-law. Lal Mohan was happy with the alliance. Not only was Nirmala a good-looking girl, but his son would also get all the votes from Choudhary’s village.

  Meanwhile, Nirmala was blissfully unaware of her father’s future plans and started studying at home by herself due to the absence of a high school in the village. Diligently, she worked day and night in preparation for her tenth class exams.

  Time passed and seasons changed. Soon, it was winter.

  One day, a young and handsome college student came to study the old monuments on the outskirts of the village for a history project, and rented out a room. When he went to buy some bananas, the shopkeeper told him, ‘Why don’t you go to Choudhary’s house and talk to him? He’ll definitely assist you if you need help with the project.’

  When the young man met Choudhary Charan Singh, he was scared. The zamindar was a tall, hefty man with a big moustache and a perpetual scowl on his face. He asked the boy in an authoritative voice, ‘Who are you?’

  ‘I am Anand and I’ve come to your village for six months to work on a history project for my college. I’ll be grateful if you would be kind enough to introduce me to somebody who can take me around the village or the areas nearby based on my project’s requirements.’

  ‘Where are you staying right now?’

  ‘I’m staying in a musafirkhana near the Hanuman temple.’

  Choudhary took pity on the young boy and said, ‘Well, you can stay in my outhouse from tonight. Don’t worry about food. We’ll make sure that you get food every day.’

  Anand was surprised by Choudhary’s generosity and thanked him profusely. Soon, he settled into a routine. He left the outhouse every morning after breakfast and came back in the evening in time for dinner.

  One day, he saw a girl applying mehendi on her hand in the backyard. She looked like she was a few years younger than him. There was something so attractive about her that he could not stop staring. When she saw him looking at her, she was startled and ran inside the house, leaving the mehendi behind. Anand went closer to where she had been sitting and saw a tenth-grade English textbook next to the bowl of mehendi. He realized that she must be the zamindar’s daughter.

  In the evening, Anand went and met Choudhary. He told him, ‘Sir, I know English very well. If you’d like, I am available to teach the language to anyone who might be interested.’

  Choudhary replied, ‘We don’t have a good English teacher in this village. In fact, there is no high school here either. So my daughter, who is in the tenth grade, is studying on her own. Why don’t you teach her for as long as you are here?’

  Anand nodded happily.

  He started teaching Nirmala twice a week. At first, she was shy and awkward but, slowly, they became friends. Still, she completely ignored him when Choudhary was at home, and maintained a distance.

  One day, Anand slipped during one of his monument expeditions and sprained his ankle. When Choudhary did not see him for three days, he asked Nirmala, ‘Where is Anand these days?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said.

  Choudhary ordered the cook, ‘Go right now and find out what’s happened to the boy.’ He turned to Nirmala and said, ‘I would have asked your mother to do it but she’s not yet back from her pilgrimage. I hope that the boy has eaten something in the last few days. I don’t want anybody to go hungry in my house.’

  When Choudhary learnt that Anand could not walk for a few days, he told his daughter, ‘Ensure that he gets all his meals in his room.’

  Nirmala nodded and diligently brought food for Anand three times a day. During one such visit at lunch, Anand touched Nirmala’s hand as he took the food tray from her. At first, her hand shook a little. It felt new and different, but she did not push him away and accepted it shyly. Anand understood that she liked him too and they started spending a lot of time together after that.

  9

  A Journey Continued

  Within a few months, Nirmala appeared for her exams and passed with flying colours. Choudhary thanked Anand and gave him an expensive gift before he left the village and went back to the city. That same month, Nirmala skipped her period and did not even notice. Soon, she started feeling nauseous; she thought that it was indigestion. After three months, she finally realized what was wrong with her. She recalled the two rifles decorating the family room and became frightened of what her father would say and do. What if he wanted to kill her? She had no idea that her relationship with Anand could result in a pregnancy!

  Nirmala did not have the courage to tell her mother, nor did she have any friends who could keep her secret. But she trusted Dulari, the maid in t