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  Jake spun on his heel, jerked open the door, and stalked out.

  I dropped down onto the edge of my bed. “You’re not really going to tell Walter, are you?”

  “If I see Jake on this ship tomorrow evening, I will. Walter doesn’t need a gigolo on his cruise ship.”

  My head came up. “Walter owns this cruise ship?”

  “Yeah. Why do you think that we’re going on a route that’s so different from the ones most of the cruise lines take? Walter customized it for his honeymoon, and extended a special offer to the public. No sense in taking the ship out if you have empty rooms.”

  I buried my face in my hands, not really caring about Walter, or his cruise ship, or the route we were taking. All I cared about was that I’d met a guy who’d turned out to be Mr. Wrong.

  “I am so embarrassed. I believed Jake thought I was special.”

  “You are special.” Ryan knelt before me. “Look, Jake’s a player. He played you, Donna, and no telling how many other girls on this boat.”

  I came up off the bed. “We’re all players, Ryan.”

  “Look, Lindsay, I know you want something special to happen on this cruise. But not with a guy like Jake. Any dude at that table tonight would be better than Jake.”

  “Only none of those guys at that table tonight created sparks like Jake did! You just don’t get it. You don’t know what I’m looking for or what I want. You keep butting in when it’s none of your business.”

  I spun around, giving him my back. I felt tears stinging my eyes, and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on before breaking down completely. “Will you just leave?”

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  “No, I’m not going to be okay. I feel used. Okay? Are you happy?”

  “Not particularly. But you would have felt more used in the morning when you found out this guy puts notches on his nautical headboard.”

  “Unless I never found out. Then I would have been happy in my blissful ignorance.”

  “But you deserve better than that, Lindsay. You deserve better than him.”

  He left then, and I was alone in a room that seemed suddenly incredibly empty and stank of designer perfume. Oh, gosh, I never wanted to smell this fragrance again. It would always remind me of the night I’d almost been a fool.

  Almost been? Who was I kidding? I’d been a fool. Completely.

  I went to the bathroom, located the bottle of perfume, tried not to remember how much fun I’d had purchasing it, unscrewed the cap, poured the contents in the toilet and flushed, and dropped the empty bottle in the trash. Probably an overreaction, but I felt like I had to do something.

  I caught my reflection in the mirror. With my finger and thumb, I created an L, and pressed it against my forehead.

  “Loser!”

  I walked back into my bedroom, turned off the lamp, and curled into a ball on the bed.

  I started crying. The tears just welled up from deep inside me. I was such an idiot. This whole trip I’d been so worried about losing my virginity. My obsession had tainted everything. I was such an idiot.

  Jake would have been exactly what I was looking for. A one-night stand. A perfect one-night stand.

  Damn Ryan for being right. I would have hated Jake and myself in the morning. I would have felt empty.

  Fun for one night, but when dawn came over the horizon, what would we have had?

  Nothing really. Nothing that would have lasted.

  I heard a soft knocking on my door. I was going to kill Ryan if he didn’t leave me alone.

  The knock sounded again.

  I forced myself to get out of bed and cross over to the door. I looked out the peephole. It wasn’t Ryan.

  I opened the door. “Brooke, what are you doing here?”

  “Ryan called me. He thought you might need someone to talk to.”

  I rolled my eyes. “He needs to mind his own business.”

  “He told me everything. So how are you really?”

  “I’ll survive.”

  She held up a white box. On top of it was a brown sack.

  “I wasn’t sure what your food of choice was when you’re depressed so I raided Krispy Kreme and the Häagen Dazs shop.”

  “Doughnuts and ice cream?”

  “Yeah, decadent huh? Can I come in?”

  I wasn’t really in the mood for company, but how could I turn away sympathy food? “Sure.”

  I stepped back and she came in.

  “Should we eat on the deck?” she asked.

  “So Ryan can hear us talking? I don’t think so.”

  “Okay, how about here?” She spread a towel on the bed, and put her offerings on it. “Come on.”

  I sat down, fluffed the pillows behind my back, and pressed up against the headboard. I removed a doughnut from the box. It practically melted in my mouth.

  “You know, Lindsay, ninety-nine point nine percent of all guys are jerks. They all just want to get us into bed.”

  “Supposedly they think about sex, like, once every seven seconds,” I told her.

  “More like every three seconds. It’s the reason it’s so hard to have a conversation with guys. They lose their train of thought after three seconds, and they’re thinking sex again.”

  “You know, Brooke, I’ve been totally insane worrying about being a virgin. I wanted to have a fling with someone I’d never see again, simply so I could get this being a virgin thing over with.”

  She opened a small tub of ice cream and dipped in a plastic spoon. “Look, Lindsay, I’m telling you—as a friend who has been there and done that. It’s better when the guy is special.”

  “Was Chris special?” I asked.

  “Yeah, he was.” She popped a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “I sent him a postcard from Hell.”

  “What did you write on it?”

  “Something original: ‘Wish you were here.’ “She sighed. “The thing is, Lindsay, I really wish he was.”

  And I wished I could find one guy in this world that I cared about that much.

  “I have this stupid list of all the things that I wanted to accomplish while I was on this cruise,” I told her. “Want to help me revise it?

  She grinned. “Sure!”

  x Soak up the rays.

  x Shop until I drop.

  x Drink margaritas by the pitcher.

  x Dance all night.

  x Climb a waterfall.

  x Snorkel.

  more

  x Kiss a lot of cute guys.

  x Make love

  x Sleep with a guy for the first time.

  FORGET ABOUT A SUMMER FLING.

  JUST HAVE FUN!

  CHAPTER 26

  Cozumel

  Day Seven

  The sparkling emerald water of Cozumel was exactly what I needed the next morning. The colorful garland of reefs that surround the island and the brightly colored sea life were a balm to my bruised heart.

  The Usual Suspects—as I was beginning to think of our little group—had met up early that morning and voted to do the snorkeling thing right off the bat.

  Surprise, surprise when Jake wasn’t the one taking the votes. Cindy, the bubbly girl who had helped during my mom’s wedding, was going to be our leader today.

  It seemed Jake had to resign unexpectedly to take care of his ailing mother. A part of me felt sorry for him. I didn’t think he’d really meant any harm. He was, like most of us on the cruise, simply looking for a good time.

  But Ryan had a good point. He shouldn’t have been doing it while he was working. Work isn’t a vacation. Didn’t I know that well enough?

  I tried not to let on how bummed out I was, but I felt as though the bubble had fizzled right out of me. Part of the reason was that I felt like I’d gotten exactly what I deserved.

  I’d been completely stupid. As I snorkeled through these amazing waters, I thought about how I should have been paying more attention to what was going on around me, rather than focusing on me and my stup