The Constant Princess ttc-1 Read online

I will say nothing, though people constantly pry and want to know. I have to consider what I am to do and how I am to claim the throne that Arthur wanted for me. I have to think how to keep my promise to him, how to tell the lie that he wanted me to tell. How I can make it convincing, how I can fool the king himself, and his sharp-witted, hard-eyed mother.

  But I have made a promise. I do not retract my word. He begged me for a promise and he dictated the lie I must tell, and I said yes. I will not fail him. It is the last thing he asked of me, and I will do it. I will do it for him, and I will do it for our love.

  Oh, my love, if you knew how much I long to see you.

  Catalina traveled to London with the black-trimmed curtains of the litter closed against the beauty of the countryside, as it came into full bloom. She did not see the people doff their caps or curtsey as the procession wound through the little English villages. She did not hear the men and women call “God bless you, Princess! ”as the litter jolted slowly down the village streets. She did not know that every young woman in the land crossed herself and prayed that she should not have the bad luck of the pretty Spanish princess who had come so far for love and then lost her man after only five months.

  She was dully aware of the lush green of the countryside, of the fertile swelling of the crops in the fields and the fat cattle in the water meadows. When their way wound through the thick forests she noticed the coolness of the green shade and the thick interleaving of the canopy of boughs over the road. Herds of deer vanished into the dappled shade and she could hear the calling of a cuckoo and the rattle of a woodpecker. It was a beautiful land, a wealthy land, a great inheritance for a young couple. She thought of Arthur’s desire to protect this land of his against the Scots, against the Moors. Of his will to reign here better and more justly than it had ever been done before.

  She did not speak to her hosts on the road who attributed her silence to grief, and pitied her for it. She did not speak to her ladies, not even to María who was at her side in silent sympathy, nor to Doña Elvira who, at this crisis in Spanish affairs, was everywhere; her husband organizing the houses on the road, she herself ordering the princess’s food, her bedding, her companions, her diet. Catalina said nothing and let them do as they wished with her.

  Some of her hosts thought her sunk so deep in grief that she was beyond speech, and prayed that she should recover her wits again and go back to Spain and make a new marriage that would bring her a new husband to replace the old. What they did not know was that Catalina was holding her grief for her husband in some hidden place deep inside her. Deliberately, she delayed her mourning until she had the safety to indulge in it. While she jolted along in the litter she was not weeping for him, she was racking her brains how to fulfill his dream. She was wondering how to obey him, as he had demanded. She was thinking how she should fulfill her deathbed promise to the only young man she had ever loved.

  I shall have to be clever. I shall have to be more cunning than King Henry Tudor, more determined than his mother. Faced with those two, I don’t know that I can get away with it. But I have to get away with it. I have given my promise, I will tell my lie. England shall be ruled as Arthur wanted. The rose will live again. I shall make the England that he wanted.

  I wish I could have brought Lady Margaret with me to advise me, I miss her friendship, I miss her hard-won wisdom. I wish I could see her steady gaze and hear her counsel to be resigned, to bow to my destiny, to give myself to God’s will. I would not follow her advice—but I wish I could hear it.

  Summer 1502

  CROYDON, MAY 1502

  The princess and her party arrived at Croydon Palace and Doña Elvira led Catalina to her private rooms. For once, the girl did not go to her bedchamber and close the door behind her. She stood in the sumptuous presence chamber, looking around her. “A chamber fit for a princess,” she said.

  “But it is not your own,” Doña Elvira said, anxious for her charge’s status. “It has not been given to you. It is just for your use.”

  The young woman nodded. “It is fitting,” she said.

  “The Spanish ambassador is in attendance,” Doña Elvira told her. “Shall I tell him that you will not see him?”

  “I will see him,” Catalina said quietly. “Tell him to come in.”

  “You don’t have to…”

  “He may have word from my mother,” she said. “I should like her advice.”

  The duenna bowed and went to find the ambassador. He was deep in conversation in the gallery outside the presence chamber with Father Alessandro Geraldini, the princess’s chaplain. Doña Elvira regarded them both with dislike. The chaplain was a tall, handsome man, his dark good looks in stark contrast to those of his companion. The ambassador. Dr. de Puebla was tiny beside him, leaning against a chair to support his misshapen spine, his damaged leg tucked behind the other, his bright little face alight with excitement.

  “She could be with child?” the ambassador confirmed in a whisper. “You are certain?”

  “Pray God it is so. She is certainly in hopes of it,” the confessor confirmed.

  “Dr. de Puebla!” the duenna snapped, disliking the confidential air between the two men. “I shall take you to the princess now.”

  De Puebla turned and smiled at the irritable woman. “Certainly, Doña Elvira,” he said equably. “At once.”

  Dr. de Puebla limped into the room, his richly trimmed black hat already in his hand, his small face wreathed in an unconvincing smile. He bowed low with a flourish, and came up to inspect the princess.

  At once he was struck by how much she had changed in such a short time. She had come to England a girl, with a girl’s optimism. He had thought her a spoilt child, one who had been protected from the harshness of the real world. In the fairy-tale palace of the Alhambra this had been the petted youngest daughter of the most powerful monarchs in Christendom. Her journey to England had been the first real discomfort she had been forced to endure, and she had complained about it bitterly, as if he could help the weather. On her wedding day, standing beside Arthur and hearing the cheers for him had been the first time she had taken second place to anyone but her heroic parents.

  But before him now was a girl who had been hammered by unhappiness into a fine maturity. This Catalina was thinner, and paler, but with a new spiritual beauty, honed by hardship. He drew his breath. This Catalina was a young woman with a queenly presence. She had become through grief not only Arthur’s widow but her mother’s daughter. This was a princess from the line that had defeated the most powerful enemy of Christendom. This was the very bone of the bone and blood of the blood of Isabella of Castile. She was cool, she was hard. He hoped very much that she was not going to be difficult.

  De Puebla gave her a smile that he meant to be reassuring and saw her scrutinize him with no answering warmth in her face. She gave him her hand and then she sat in a straight-backed wooden chair before the fire. “You may sit,” she said graciously, gesturing him to a lower chair, farther away.

  He bowed again, and sat.

  “Do you have any messages for me?”

  “Of sympathy, from the king and Queen Elizabeth and from My Lady the King’s Mother, and from myself, of course. They will invite you to court when you have recovered from your journey and are out of mourning.”

  “How long am I to be in mourning?” Catalina inquired.

  “My Lady the King’s Mother has said that you should be in seclusion for a month after the burial. But since you were not at court during that time, she has ruled that you will stay here until she commands you to return to London. She is concerned for your health….”

  He paused, hoping that she would volunteer whether or not she was with child, but she let the silence stretch.

  He thought he would ask her directly. “Infanta—”

  “You should call me princess,” she interrupted. “I am the Princess of Wales.”

  He hesitated, thrown off course. “Dowager Princess,” he corrected her quietly.