The Ghost Read online

  He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration, and for the first time she could see the lines of exhaustion on his face. From the dust and dirt on his surcoat and armor, she realized he’d probably come straight here after returning. Why such haste?

  The question was answered a moment later.

  “Because I rode back anxious to see my betrothed only to have the first thing I hear be that she was seen cavorting with another man.”

  She held his gaze. “And you believed this?” She took a step closer, smelling the leather and horse and the hint of sweat that was oddly intoxicating. “After what happened between us, do you really think I could share intimacies like that with someone else?”

  He winced with shame. “No, yes, hell I didn’t want to. But Despenser sounded pretty damned convincing. He said you knew this man.”

  “Sir Hugh?” she repeated incredulously. “Of course he has no reason to lie?”

  He paused. “Despenser said you were once in love with this man. And then you were gone so late . . .”

  Joan bristled. Sir Phillip. That was what this was about. Alex was jealous of the man who’d raped her. She would laugh if she didn’t feel so much like crying.

  God, if he only knew how wrong he was.

  “Sir Hugh is feeding you lies, Alex. There is a knight who arrived with his father whom I knew as a girl, but I can assure you I want nothing to do with him. Which is exactly what I told him when he sought me out at the midday meal.”

  His eyes scanned her face, presumably for signs of untruth. “Then you did not love him?”

  “I have only been in love with one man in my life, and I can assure you it is not Sir Phillip Gifford.”

  Her words didn’t seem to mollify him; indeed they seemed to anger him. “Then who is it?”

  She stared at him for a moment, shook her head, and laughed.

  He scowled angrily. “I don’t see anything amusing. I asked you a damned question.”

  Still laughing, she put her hand on his cheek soothingly. “You, Alex. I meant you.”

  18

  ALEX STARED AT her dumbfounded. “You meant me?”

  She smiled so sweetly he thought his heart might break from overfilling. “Aye. Whatever else the future holds, you can trust that.”

  He was too stunned by her declaration to pay any mind to the odd warning of her words. She loved him?

  God, he was an idiot. The luckiest damned idiot in the world. “I’m sorry. I’ve acted like a complete arse, haven’t I?”

  Her mouth twisted. “Maybe not complete. Although next time you climb a tower and crawl through a window, it might be easier to remove your mail first.” She shook her head. “I should have liked to see you squeezing through that.”

  “It wasn’t easy,” he said wryly. He looked down into her beautiful upturned face and felt his heart swell all over again. “I’ve no excuse other than that I was out of my mind with jealousy at the thought that you might love someone else, when I am completely, thoroughly, and even more out of my mind in love with you.”

  She smiled back at him, eyes shining with happiness. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  He cocked a brow. “But not surprised?”

  She gave him a distinctly female shrug. “I hoped that you might after what you confided in me. You’ve kept that vow an awful long time.”

  “Believe me, I know.”

  She laughed at his tone, but then sobered. “Still, I wasn’t sure after . . .”

  Her voice fell off, and he cursed inwardly, knowing what she’d been about to say. “She’s an old friend, Joan. Nothing more.”

  “I know that’s what you said.”

  “It’s the truth.” He thought for a moment and realized no harm could come from telling her now. “She’s married to someone I once considered a close friend. She was here in secret visiting her brother, and I didn’t want to say anything that might put her in jeopardy. You have probably heard her name mentioned before: it’s Rosalin Boyd.”

  She didn’t look surprised. Actually she looked more distressed. “You don’t need to tell me this, Alex.”

  She tried to turn away, but he caught her chin and forced her gaze back to his. His finger swept the velvety curve of her cheek. “Yes, I do. I want there to be no secrets between us.”

  Now she looked pained.

  “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “Nay, what you said is perfect. Too perfect.”

  He was having trouble following her logic. “Good. Then in case I wasn’t clear, I love you, and only you.”

  Her eyes were luminous and shimmery—he hoped with emotion—as they looked into his. And her mouth . . . it was too damned inviting. Unable to help himself, he lowered his lips to hers and gave proof to his words with a slow, tender kiss.

  God, her mouth was like honey. So soft and sweet and irresistible. He had to pull back before he sank in deeper.

  But everything seemed to be conspiring against him. The bed that was right behind her was also too inviting—as was her very-easy-to-remove night robe. He tried to step back, but the room was too small, and it wasn’t enough to break the invisible current pulling them together.

  But he’d made a vow, damn it. Not until they were married. “I should go,” he said firmly to remind himself.

  He even managed a half-turn, before she caught his arm. “Nay, please. Won’t you stay?”

  As if it were the most natural thing in the world—which it was—she sidled up to him and curled against his chest as if she belonged there—which she did.

  He would have had to be made of stone to resist the urge to put his arms around her. He wasn’t—made of stone, that is, although part of him sure as hell felt that way.

  He drew her closer, savoring the sensations as her body melted into his. “You make it hard to do the right thing, sweetheart. I made a vow.”

  “And you can make another one,” she said, moving her hands from his shoulders down his stomach to his belt. “Once I’m done with you.”

  “I should bathe—I’ve been riding all day.”

  She gave him a naughty smile. “Nice try, but you smell fine. And I suspect we’ll both be a little sweaty soon.”

  Ah hell. Alex was done arguing. It was just making him hotter when she talked like that. He could feel the tug at his waist right before she succeeded in unbuckling his belt. He gave up the pretense of fighting it and tore off his surcoat. She was as efficient as any squire at helping him remove the heavy mail shirt and the padded linen aketon underneath. Only then did she hesitate—letting him see that she wasn’t quite as confident as she appeared—but it wasn’t for long. A moment later, his linen shirt was on the bed behind them and his chest was bare. She was quiet for a long time as she seemed to take in every inch of skin and muscle. Her gaze was soft with desire when her eyes finally met his. “I’m afraid I have to warn you that I might not be done with you for quite some time.”

  He swelled hot and hard at her words. God, he couldn’t wait to be inside her. He reached down, unfastened the tie at her waist, and eased the velvet robe off her shoulders until it fell in a pool of crimson at her feet. “That’s good to hear,” he said. “But I think I’m giving up all vows but one when it comes to you.”

  She gave him a questioning look as her fingers trailed up and down the bands of his stomach. He had to grit his teeth against the urge to surge in her hand. But she appeared to have no idea of the torture she was exacting on him.

  “And what vow is that?” she asked softly.

  He swept her off her feet and carried her to the bed. “To love, honor, and cherish until death do us part.”

  Marriage vows. He really was something out of an old tale. Joan knew she was a fool to let herself be this happy. That she was playing a game against time she could not win. That the love Alex felt for her might not survive the betrayal he was going to feel when he learned the truth. But she was going to live in this fool’s paradise for as long as she could and