Lovely Wild Read online

  “My mom said we could order pizza. You want pepperoni and mushroom?” Sammy poked Kendra with her toe.

  “I think I’m gonna go home.”

  “What? Dude, no!” Sammy frowned and sat up. “Why? Are you mad? Don’t be mad, Kendra, God!”

  She wasn’t mad. Well, a little. Still mostly embarrassed. “I’m not. I just don’t feel like having pizza for dinner. My mom’s making chicken parm.”

  For a second, Sammy’s face fell, and Kendra felt like shit for rubbing her friend’s nose in the fact that her parents had left her alone again. But then Sammy tossed her hair with a shrug, so they both could pretend she didn’t care, and it was cool between them even though Sammy had kind of ruined Kendra’s life for now.

  “He does like you,” she said again in a lower voice when Kendra was leaving. “I’m sorry he’s being a jerk about it.”

  “That’s what boys do, right? Be jerks?” Kendra said, like she had tons of experience, when they both knew Sammy’d almost lost her virginity last summer and Kendra, so far, hadn’t even been French-kissed.

  Sammy looked wistful. “Yeah. I guess so.” She brightened. “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s invite them over!”

  “Who?”

  “Rob and Logan!” Sammy was already whipping out her phone and scrolling to dial.

  Kendra tried to grab it from her hand. “No way!”

  She wasn’t fast enough. Squealing, Sammy rolled over the bed to bounce upward, phone triumphantly in hand. “Yes, way!”

  “Your mom and dad said—”

  Sammy’s face twisted. It was the wrong thing to say. Kendra had lost this battle, for sure.

  “Eff them,” Sammy said coldly. “They’re both out screwing other people right now. They think I don’t know. Shit, they each think the other one doesn’t know. So as far as I’m concerned, I can have a few friends over.”

  Kendra didn’t know what to say. She knew things with Sammy’s parents were bad, but not like that. Other people? She didn’t even want to think about her parents doing it with each other, much less anyone else.

  So that was how she found herself in a dark room, lit only by a few candles, sitting across from Sammy with a Ouija board between them. Rob sat on one side, Logan on the other. The boys had found the liquor cabinet and helped themselves to peach schnapps with dust on the bottle, mixed with some orange juice. Kendra refused it, the smell turning her stomach.

  Sammy’d had a whole glass already. Her eyes gleamed. She was acting weird, all jerky and hectic, like she was hopped up on something. It was because of the boys, Kendra thought, watching her. She was showing off.

  “Spirit, is there someone in this room right now you have a message for?” Sammy intoned before breaking into a giggle.

  YES

  “What’s the message,” Logan said.

  SAMY, spelled the board. LOVES

  Sammy took her hands off the planchette so fast the plastic piece spun around and almost scooted off the edge of the board balanced on their knees. “Not funny, Kendra.”

  “I didn’t do anything.” Kendra looked at Rob and Logan. “I didn’t!”

  Rob nudged Sammy. “Sammy loves...who?”

  Under Kendra’s fingers, the planchette jerked toward the letter L. She took her fingers off it immediately. Sammy stared at her. Rob, teasing, snatched up the planchette and settled it back into the center of the board.

  “C’mon, let’s ask it something really freaky,” he said. When nobody answered him, he looked up. “What? C’mon!”

  “I’m going to go home.” Kendra stood. The room spun a little, which wasn’t fair since she hadn’t even had a sip of booze. She stared down at Sammy, her best friend.

  Sammy was slowly turning green. She got unsteadily to her feet and headed for the small powder room off the rec room. “I’m going to puke.”

  “Can’t handle her alcohol,” Rob said with a shake of his head. “Lightweight.”

  Kendra looked at Logan. They’d been friends since fourth grade, when Miss Beatrice had made them work together on the project about El Salvador. In sixth grade he’d been with her when her sled went out of control in the park and she hit a tree. Logan had been the one to walk her home. In eighth grade, they’d gone to their first formal together, as friends, but he’d bought her a corsage and she’d bought him a boutonniere, and his mother had taken pictures. Hers had forgotten the camera. Kendra still had one of the pictures in her top drawer, under her socks. She’d been looking at it a lot more, lately.

  “I’m going home,” she said and didn’t wait another second for anyone to try to stop her.

  Not that any of them did. Sammy was busy yakking, Rob was raiding the liquor cabinet again. And Logan...Logan didn’t like her in that way.

  Her phone buzzed from her pocket as soon as she got out the front door. It was Sammy. Kendra swiped to read it, though she wanted to ignore it.

  Don’t be mad

  Kendra typed as she walked. When?

  Last year. When you were at camp. But he really likes you. I swear to God!

  So Logan was the guy Sammy had almost gone all the way with, not some stranger she’d met at the beach like she’d said. It made sense. Kendra could hardly be mad, in a way, since it wasn’t as if she and Logan had a thing going on. She understood why Sammy would’ve wanted to get with him, and why she hadn’t told Kendra about it.

  But she didn’t understand why Sammy would’ve lied about Logan liking Kendra.

  She didn’t answer the text, her stomach sick and churning, her throat tight and hot. Her face felt stretched. Like if she blinked too hard it would crack and fall off. A mask.

  “Hey, Kiki. I thought you were staying over at Sammy’s.” Mom appeared in the kitchen doorway as Kendra put her foot to the stairs. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Kendra started to say, but the words got lost in a sudden uprush of tears.

  Her mom’s hand squeezed her shoulder, guiding Kendra to the dining room table. “Sit.”

  Kendra sat. Mom sat next to her, saying nothing. Waiting while Kendra sobbed, handing her a napkin when the snot ran too freely. When Ethan wandered in, Mom murmured for him to go away and leave them alone, though he did pause to give Kendra a bewildered look first. When the tears tapered off, Kendra blew her nose and waited for her mom to ask her what had happened.

  Instead, her mom got up and disappeared for a moment, returning with a crinkling package she opened. She handed Kendra a pack of chocolate snack cakes from her secret stash without a word. Kendra stared at it for a moment, then took a bite. It wasn’t very good, but she ate it, anyway.

  Her mom at last said quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

  That was the last thing Kendra wanted to do, yet she opened her mouth and spilled out her guts, anyway. “...And I know she says he likes me, Mom, but he doesn’t. Not like that. He must like Sammy.”

  “Why? Because he fooled around with her?”

  “Well. Yeah.” Kendra swiped at her face.

  Mom laughed softly. “Kiki...I know you don’t need me to tell you that boys will take chances when they get them. It doesn’t mean they love the girl they take them with. Or even like her all that much, sometimes. And even if he did, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t also like you.”

  “She’s my friend,” Kendra said miserably.

  “He’s your friend, too. Both of them have been for a long time.”

  Kendra looked at her mother. “Is that supposed to make it better?”

  “I don’t know. Does it make it worse?”

  “No.” Kendra took a deep breath, considering what her mom had said. “Not worse. But not better.”

  “Maybe it won’t get better,” her mom said, “for a while.”

  They sat in silence for a minute or so. Kendra’s mom took her hand, squeezing the fingers. Kendra squeezed back.

  “Did you ever like a boy who didn’t like you back?” Kendra asked.

  Her mom coughed a little. “Umm...no.”