Hold Me Close Read online

  That could never be good. It was the sex. It had changed things. Maybe she was overthinking it? But no...not from the way he was looking at her. Shit. “Okay.”

  “I haven’t been seeing anyone else but you for the past month or so. I know we didn’t talk about being exclusive, but I wanted to let you know. Would you... Would you like to just see me? I mean, it doesn’t have to be anything super serious,” he added hastily. “But I believe in being up front and honest. I hate all the game playing on that site, to be honest.”

  “Yeah, me, too,” Effie said, though actually she’d never experienced any games because she usually didn’t bother dating a guy more than once and had never had a problem using the block button.

  “And I thought since we...already, well...”

  She tried to answer but managed only to nod and smile. Mitchell frowned a little, as if she ought to have said something more, and dammit, she probably should have, but what was there to say? They’d fucked. It happened. People did it all the time and never spoke to one another again. Why did relationships have to be so much fucking work? Effie turned her mug in her hands. She had not, in fact, been dating anyone else from LuvFinder since she started seeing Mitchell, but that did not make them exclusive. Yet she’d told Heath and her mother and herself it was what she was looking for—and it was, wasn’t it? So why, then, when faced with having to make it official, did everything inside her squeeze like a fist?

  “So...?”

  She bought herself some time by sipping some more coffee, then gave him a small smile she suspected wasn’t going to make her answer any more palatable. She had to tell him the truth, though. She hadn’t been entirely truthful about a lot of other things, so he at least deserved her honesty now.

  “I’m not sure I’m ready to make that promise.”

  “Oh, sure, sure. Right.” Mitchell nodded, his gaze going shuttered.

  She’d hurt his feelings. “But I’ll let you know about Friday as soon as I can figure out who can stay with my daughter, okay? I’d really like to go out with you.”

  “Great.” Mitchell stood, his coffee only half-finished, his croissant barely touched. He wrapped it back in the paper and put the lid on his paper cup. “You have my number. Just give me a call. Or text. It was nice seeing you, Effie.”

  She stood and gave him a one-armed hug. Awkward, but not unpleasant. “You, too. I’ll call you.”

  He gave her a little wave as he went out the front door. Effie watched until he disappeared from her sight, then sat back with a sigh to pull out her sketch pad. She’d made only a few strokes before her phone buzzed with a text. Mitchell, already? She grinned, then frowned when she saw who it was really from.

  Nice looking guy.

  Bill. With a sigh, Effie thumbed a reply. Don’t you have some criminals to harass?

  Would rather harass you.

  She twisted to look out the window, expecting to see him watching from across the street, but all she saw were parked cars and a guy in a long dark coat and a striped scarf coming into the coffee shop. She didn’t answer the text, but she couldn’t manage to concentrate on any drawing ideas, either. Fucking Bill, she thought with the corners of her mouth turned down.

  I’m getting off shift now. Come over.

  NO, she typed and erased. Typed it again. But she didn’t hit Send. Another text came through while she was debating.

  I’ll eat your pussy until you scream, Bill typed, and Effie had to stifle a groan.

  She didn’t answer this text, either, though she saw the three small dots that indicated Bill was still typing. Before he could finish, she got another message, this one from Dee, apologizing that she’d have to cancel because the school had called her to come get Meredith, who had a fever. By the time she finished typing her reply to Dee, Bill’s next text had buzzed through.

  I’ll make you come so hard you forget your name.

  Oh, universe, Effie thought. What lesson are you trying to teach me?

  Promises, promises, Effie typed. I’ll be over in half an hour.

  * * *

  On her knees, Effie took Bill’s cock down her throat. Her hand at the base kept him from going too deep and gagging her, while her other hand cradled his balls. He thrust with a groan. He wasn’t pulling her hair. She wanted him to, she’d asked him to, and he had for a minute or so, barely hard enough, and then let go.

  Effie loosed his cock from her lips with an audible pop and looked up at him. “Fuck my mouth.”

  Bill looked down at her with narrowed eyes, hazy gaze. His mouth was wet. From his tongue or from her cunt, she wasn’t sure, but she liked to think it was because a minute or so ago he’d been face-first in her pussy. Her clit throbbed, and she slid a hand between her legs to stroke herself as she went back to sucking him.

  She was close, so very close, but she hadn’t quite made it when he flooded her mouth. She’d barely swallowed when Bill pulled her to her feet and kissed her. Their teeth clashed. His hand went between her legs, found her slick and open. He fucked into her with his fingers, his thumb on her clit. Still, wasn’t nearly enough. She wanted it to be. Effie wanted to come so much it was all she could think about. Too long without that pleasure, even from her own hand. She wanted to come the way normal people did, easily or with effort, but she hadn’t had an orgasm since the last time with Heath.

  She didn’t want to think about him now, but it was the memory of his taste that washed away Bill’s flavor. Heath’s touch, his kiss, his face in front of hers. She might hate it, she might not want it, but there it was, and oh, fuck yes, then she was coming and coming and coming while Bill murmured words of encouragement to her.

  They were on his bed before she quite knew how they got there. Not cuddling, though the way she was feeling, she might have let him. Bill snored lightly and Effie curled onto her side but facing him, so she could, if she wanted to, reach out and touch his face.

  Quietly, she got out of bed and went into his bathroom to take a shower. She would be cutting it close, getting home in time for Polly to get off the bus, and she didn’t want to greet her daughter stinking of sex. She didn’t luxuriate but scrubbed herself quickly and got out without even wetting her hair. At his sink, she rinsed her mouth and spat, then again. She could still taste him.

  He was still sleeping when she came back into the room, and she sat on the edge of the bed next to him. She put her hand on his bare hip, thinking he might wake up and hoping he wouldn’t. Then they’d have to talk, and she didn’t feel like talking to Bill right now. She let her fingers slide down his flank, feeling the crisp hairs curling against her knuckles.

  She used him. He used her. They’d been doing this a long time, and there was no reason for her to think it had to change. But it would, if she gave Mitchell the answer he’d been hoping for. Everything would change then.

  “Bill.” He didn’t answer, so she poked him a little harder. “Bill, wake up.”

  “Shhh... Wha...” Grumbling, he opened his eyes and frowned. “What?”

  “I was on a date with that guy in the coffee shop. I’ve seen him a few times. He’s asking me to make it exclusive.”

  Bill yawned. “Yeah. So?”

  “So, doesn’t that bother you?” She poked him again, taking a small pleasure in the way he winced and put a hand over hers to stop her from doing it again.

  Bill let out a low, muttered string of curses. He sat up. “No. Should it?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Do you want it to bother me? Christ, Effie, I’m tired. I worked the night shift,” Bill complained.

  Effie got up. “You weren’t too tired to have your dick in my mouth.”

  “And you put it there, so what’s the fucking problem?” Bill yawned again. “You want to go on dates? So, what? Go. Hell, get married if you want to. Isn’t that what all