Black Wings Read online

  Almost always, she thought guiltily. Unless she wasn’t.

  “It didn’t say she wasn’t friendly. Said she was having trouble relating. She’s new. Maybe she’s having a bit of a hard time fitting in. That couldn’t be such a surprise, could it?” Dean lifted the lid on the pot of chili she’d defrosted and had simmering.

  Marian felt the narrow plastic stick in her pocket. She’d almost forgotten about her news. The message from school had left her mind churning. She seemed to be royally screwing up with the kid she already had. What made her think she could possibly have another one without screwing that one up, too? And forget about getting a job, even one part-time. She could hardly go back to work now. And nights out with the girls? She’d had only one and could kiss those goodbye too, at least for a while.

  She was pregnant, and everything was going to change.

  “Babe?” Dean was looking at her with concern.

  “She’s my kid. I worry about her.”

  Dean hugged her from behind. “I know. There’s been a lot of change recently. We’re all a little stressed out. It’ll get better. This is the best thing for her. You’ll see.”

  She opened her mouth to tell him about the double lines that meant yes, but Briella came into the kitchen. “Hey, there. Dinner’s almost ready.”

  Marian could have sent her back to watch more crappy television. She could have told Dean right then about the positive test and shared the news with both of them at the same time. Instead, she waved at the table for them to sit.

  Briella kept up the chatter about school nonstop throughout dinner as she devoured two bowls of chili along with rice, corn bread slathered with peanut butter, and a couple glasses of milk. She answered Dean’s questions without even a hint of attitude, and while Marian might have tried to correct the girl’s table manners, she was more than happy to deal with a spray of crumbs if it meant Briella and Dean were bonding. Marian herself stayed a little quiet, her stomach not queasy but the promise that it might become so enough to keep her nibbling lightly.

  “So hold on,” Dean interrupted. “Back up, Bean. What exactly are you trying to do with the computer program?”

  “Make copies.”

  Dean glanced at Marian. “Of what?”

  For the first time, Briella looked cautious. “Whatever I need to.”

  “Aren’t there programs that copy things already?” Dean asked.

  Briella nodded slowly, her cautious expression turning to reluctance. “Yes.”

  Dean was smart enough to see that he’d pushed for too much. He backed off. “Cool.”

  “It’s all Greek to me,” Marian said with a laugh.

  Briella scowled. “It’s not Greek. It’s Blackangel.”

  Dean and Marian shared a look, and she said carefully, her every sense tingly, “What’s that, Bean?”

  “It’s my computer code.” The girl had gone from bubbly to sullen. Her gaze shifted from Marian to Dean and then to her plate. “I’m done eating. Can I be excused?”

  “Sure.” Marian watched as Briella carried her bowl to the garbage and scraped it clean to put it in the sink. Before the kid could escape the kitchen, Marian said, “You’re not going to go out and feed Onyx? He’s going to miss his dinner.”

  Briella turned in the doorway. “Oh. I guess I could take him some rice. He might eat that.”

  “We haven’t seen him in a while,” Marian said, watching her daughter carefully. Using the word he, not it, on purpose to make it sound like she cared.

  Briella didn’t answer at first. She chewed her lower lip, then shrugged. She went to the back door and opened it to step onto the porch. “Onyx! Come on, rice!”

  She was back inside half a minute after that, barely enough time to have waited for the bird at all. “He didn’t come.”

  “Oh.” Marian went to the back door herself to look out. “You’re sure? Maybe you should call him again. He might need a few minutes.”

  “I’m sure. He’s not coming. Can I go up to my room and read?”

  “Of course. Sure. Wait. Briella?” Marian said. The kid turned. “Did he end up going with you to show and tell? You never told me.”

  “No, Mama, you were right. He didn’t know how to go to school with me. I was silly to think so. Just because I taught him a few tricks, that doesn’t mean he would know enough to go to school with me.”

  Marian studied her. Briella didn’t look broken up about it, not about the school absence or the bird’s refusal to come when she’d called it just now. “When’s the last time you saw him? Was it at your other grandparents house?”

  “I guess so.”

  “Since then?”

  “No….”

  “You don’t seem very upset or worried.”

  “He’s a wild animal, Mama. He’ll be fine.” With that Briella left the kitchen.

  Like all of us, Marian thought and swallowed another rush of bile.

  Dean started running the water in the sink, scrubbing at the plates while Marian put away the leftovers. She’d told him often enough that he didn’t need to wash up, not when he could use some downtime before he had to leave for work. He generally insisted on helping her anyway.

  “I hadn’t thought about it until you mentioned it, but yeah, the bird hasn’t been around for a bit.” Dean lowered his voice. “Do you think…you know. Tommy?”

  Marian shivered and tried to think when exactly they’d last seen the bird. It had been before Tommy’s story, but how long ago? She thought about telling Dean what her father had said about the angels, how it related to Tommy’s crazy, stupid story, but it hurt her brain to think about it, much less try to explain. Of the other matter, the one she could not bear to think about, she wasn’t going to say a word. Anyway, that had nothing to do with the raven.

  “If he killed it? I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe. It’s been a while since it’s been around, but I can’t remember how long.”

  “Briella didn’t seem to notice,” Dean said. “I have an excuse because it wasn’t my pet, but that seems weird, doesn’t it? Considering how attached she was.”

  “Let’s hope that’s because she’s over it. She’s focused on her new experiments and stuff.” Marian thought about the plastic stick in her pocket. “I have something to tell you.”

  After all the trouble she’d had with miscarriages, Marian became convinced she wasn’t going to get pregnant again. Not without help anyway. Maybe the kind that came from angels, although not the sort that tapped at the windows of the dying.

  Marian took a deep breath. Dean was frowning, brow furrowed. She took another breath, determined to keep her voice from shaking but not sure she was going to be able to. Instead, she pulled the pregnancy test from her pocket and held it up.

  “We’re going to have a baby.”

  “Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.” Dean blinked rapidly.

  “Is it going to be okay?” Her voice wavered, despite her best efforts.

  “Baby, it’s going to be perfect. Wow. I didn’t think…wow.” Dean let out a small burst of laughter and swiped at his eyes.

  His happy tears made Marian cry, too. In a second they were both laughing and crying and kissing. Her sobs ratcheted up and out of her, too hard, too fierce.

  “Baby?” Dean asked with a frown.

  “It’s just…I was going to talk to you about going back to work. Doing something out of the house. We were on the downward slide to having more time with each other.” Marian drew in a ragged breath and tried to swipe at her eyes. “I was looking forward to when Briella could be off and on her own a little more, you know? And now we’ll be right back to the start.”

  “Aren’t you happy about it, though?”

  “I am happy,” she told him with a watery smile, and it wasn’t a lie. “I am confusedly happy. This time around, maybe I can do a better job. Seco