BACHELOR NUMBER FOUR Read online

  His dark eyes flickered, but he nodded. "I know."

  She reached for his hand again, trying to make him understand. "But that doesn't mean I'm still mourning. I loved Jason, but he's gone. It doesn't mean I have to forget him. It doesn't mean I can't make new memories."

  His handsome face showed little expression, and Arden's heart thumped. She'd said too much. Gone too fast. She'd either frightened him or pissed him off.

  "Maybe I should go," Shane said. "Give you some time alone."

  That wasn't what she wanted. She'd been alone too long, but Arden wasn't about to insist he stay if he didn't want to. She unlinked her fingers from his and put them flat on the table next to her plate of perfect pancakes. She kept her eyes on the table's scratch as she nodded.

  "If you need to get going--"

  Shane stood. "I have some things I need to do today, yeah. I'll give you a call later, okay?"

  "Sure. Great."

  He hesitated, then bent to kiss the top of her head. Arden didn't look up as he left the kitchen. She heard the front door close. She stared at her pancakes for so long they got cold, then she got up and put them in the garbage. She had no appetite for them.

  * * * *

  With the girls in a cartoon-induced stupor, Arden refilled Lida's mug and offered a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

  "What did you do, bake every recipe in the cookbook?" Lida took a cookie and bit into it with a low moan of appreciation. "Awesome, Arden."

  "The girls like to bake. I promised them we'd make a cake. We got a little carried away." She sat down and bit into a warm, fudgey cookie, but not even the sweet chocolate could entirely chase away the bitterness left in her mouth from the morning.

  Lida wiped her mouth free of crumbs and stared at Arden. "You did it with him, didn't you? Last night. You and Shane Donner got it on."

  "Are you psychic?" Arden gaped at Lida. "How did you know?"

  Lida glanced toward the living room, where the girls lay on the floor, sprawled on the huge cushions. "Guilty baking. Dead giveaway. You banged Shane Donner and now you feel guilty, so to compensate, you let your kids talk you into baking. Honey, I've been there, only for me, it's playing video games."

  Arden shook her head and warmed her chilly fingers on her coffee mug. "First of all, I did not 'bang' anyone."

  Lida raised an eyebrow and took another cookie. "What'd you do? Make looooove?"

  She drew out the word in a sappy tone of voice that made Arden laugh.

  "Not exactly."

  "I'd say something else, but I don't want to curse in front of your kids." Lida laughed. "It was good, right?"

  Arden sighed. "Yes. Great. Fabulous."

  Lida leaned across the table. "So why the long face and guilty baking?"

  Arden relayed the morning's conversation. "And last night, he said he wanted more than just sex. He wanted flowers and walks in the park."

  Lida, who knew all about the Arden's previous argument with Shane, nodded. "Smart guy."

  "But this morning, I think he changed his mind. Or maybe he thinks I did. I don't know. He asked me if I wanted to talk about Jason, and I overreacted a little."

  "Well, what do you want?" Lida asked. "Do you want walks in the park and flowers from Shane? Or just hot monkey love?"

  Arden looked to where her daughters howled with laughter at the cartoon's antics. "I don't know, Lida. I think I'm ready to move on. I mean, to think about it anyway. I feel like I'm done mourning Jay, you know? And I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I want the girls to have a daddy--"

  The tears came without warning, sliding down her cheeks and making her voice hoarse. Arden took a moment to wipe her face and clear her throat. Lida's eyes had welled with sympathetic tears, and Arden laughed to dispel them.

  "More waterworks. Sorry."

  "Don't be sorry." Lida handed her another cookie. "Here. Have a cookie. I promise you, by the time you're done eating it, you'll feel better."

  Arden took the cookie, but didn't eat it. "I want to fall in love again, Lida. But I don't know if it's going to be with Shane."

  Lida shrugged. "Do you think anybody knows that? If we all knew who we'd fall in love with, why would anybody ever bother to date? I think you need to ask yourself if you're willing to find out."

  Arden crumbled her cookie onto the plate. "This was easier when it was just about sex."

  "Hot monkey sex," Lida corrected with a smile. "And you don't think it's just that with him?"

  Arden shook her head, forcing herself to admit something aloud she'd not even admitted to herself. "I don't think it ever was. If it was just about sex, I'd have slept with him three weeks ago. Or slept with Philip. That would've been easier."

  "Nothing about sex is ever easy."

  Arden sighed. "Don't I know it."

  "You're wasting that cookie," Lida told her.

  Arden nodded toward the counter, where three more plates sat. "I think I can spare one."

  Lida grinned when she saw the cornucopia of chocolate. "Damn, girl. That must have been some hot, hot loving!"

  A shiver ran through Arden at the memory. "It sure was."

  Lida leaned forward again to look into Arden's eyes. "Your body might be easily led astray, but your heart knows what it wants. Listen to it, Arden."

  Good advice, Arden thought, if she was brave enough to take it.

  * * * *

  Shane didn't call her until Tuesday afternoon, and by that time Arden had convinced herself he wasn't going to. She'd put her fingers to the phone to dial his number a dozen times on Monday, but had never done it. She hadn't logged onto to her instant messaging account either, afraid to see his name show up on her friends list and know he was ignoring her. When the phone rang at the shop, she answered it with a mouth full of pins, her mind full of the dress she was sewing and the idea she had for a new pattern.

  "Arden?"

  Shane's voice filled her with warmth, like gooey caramel. She spit out the pins. "Hi."

  "I figured you'd be here, not at home."

  "Here I am."

  Even through the phone she sensed an awkwardness to their conversation that she didn't like. Shane's breathing filled her ear. A memory of the way his breath caressed her cheek made heat flare inside her.

  "Are you busy tonight?" he asked.

  It wasn't what she'd expected. "I don't have anything special planned, if that's what you're asking."

  "I want to take you to dinner. All of you."

  Arden cradled the phone in the crook of her shoulder as she stuck the pins into her pincushion. "Really?"

  He laughed and the awkwardness dissolved like sugar in hot tea. "Yeah. Really. You, me, and the girls."

  Arden recognized a fork in the road when she saw it. The choice she made now would determine the path her relationship with Shane would take. Could she know what lay at the end of the road? Nobody ever could. But she couldn't let that keep her from making the choice her heart told her it wanted. She had to be brave.

  "I'd like that," she told him. "Very much."

  "I'll pick you up at five? Early enough to get them home to bed?"

  His obvious concern touched her. "That's great."

  She heard the smile in his voice when he replied, "Great. I'll see you."

  "Yes. Tonight." She smiled back. "I'll look forward to it. 'Bye."

  And she would, she thought, turning back to the dress in the sewing machine. She'd look forward to whatever the night brought.

  * * * *

  She wasn't sure what to tell Maeve and Aislin about their dinner plans, so she fudged a little bit. "A friend of mine is taking us out to dinner tonight."

  Maeve looked up from the spelling words she was writing. "Where are we going?"

  "Which friend?" Aislin asked from in front of her own homework. "Lida?"

  "No." Arden put her hands in her pockets and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "A friend you've never met. His name is Shane."

  The girls exchanged a