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She’s mine. Why can’t she see that? We belong together. He cleared his throat, so many words wanting to spill out, but he hesitated, trying to think of the least alarming thing to say. She wasn’t ready to mate him, or hear how he never wanted to live another day without her. He didn’t want to frighten her off. “Stay the night with me.”
She laughed. “You really aren’t playing fair, Mourn. How can I say no after that?”
He felt relief. It would be so much better if she had agreed to be his mate, but he’d take it one day at a time. She was his until morning. Tomorrow he’d have to think of another way to get her to stay with him.
“Good.”
She ran her hands over his body, exploring. He enjoyed the softness of them against his flesh more than anything he’d ever experienced. It soothed him and gave him a peaceful feeling. She didn’t even seem to mind that he stayed on top of her, his dick snugly nestled into her body to keep them intimately linked. He could happily remain that way forever. There was nowhere else he wanted to be, nothing else he wanted to do. Dana gave him purpose and happiness.
It made him think of 139. He tried to push those thoughts away, but they haunted him. She had never smiled at him after they’d shared sex. She’d never been content to allow him to hold her the way Dana did. 139 would have pushed him away by now to separate them. She’d never stroked her hands over his body as if she enjoyed touching him.
Dana’s smile faltered, and she stopped stroking him. “What’s wrong?”
He broke eye contact and leaned down, burying his face in her neck. He inhaled, loving her scent. “You matter so much to me, Dana.”
She resumed caressing him. She even turned her head, pressing her cheek against his. She shifted her legs, wrapping them tighter around his hips, as if she hugged him with them to keep him close.
“You matter to me too. What made you look so sad?”
He shifted his arms closer to her sides and pinned her under him more firmly. He just wanted to hold her. “I don’t want to tell you.”
She twisted under him and put space between their faces. She gripped his cheeks and turned his head. He allowed it, meeting her gaze.
“You can talk to me about anything, Mourn. Remember?”
He nodded. “I need to remove this condom. Jinx said it’s important to throw it away right after we share sex. Let me go and I’ll be right back.”
She released him and he withdrew his cock from her body. Thinking of 139 had softened him. He walked into the bathroom to dispose of the condom in the trash, and washed his hands. He found Dana sitting up on the bed when he returned. He took a seat next to her. Both of them remained naked. He couldn’t look at her though, instead he studied his hands.
“What is it?” She inched closer and surprised him by curling her bent knees around his hip, leaning in and putting her face in front of his. He lifted his gaze.
“I don’t want you to replace 139. I want with you what I never had with her.” He hoped she didn’t become upset or angry at his words.
Dana looked confused.
He rushed on before she could speak. “There were things that weren’t right between 139 and me. I am sorry I thought about that just now. I hope you aren’t angry. I realized that what we share is better than what I had with her.”
Dana pulled away, and his shoulders sagged. He’d upset her. She’d leave and go home. Possibly refuse to see him anymore. It tore him up inside. She surprised him when she straddled his lap. He straightened and wrapped his arms around her as she settled her ass on his thighs. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she leaned in closer.
“I’m not angry.”
“Have I hurt you because I spoke of 139?”
“No. Tommy and 139 were important to us. I’m just trying to understand what you mean. You can talk to me about her, Mourn. She was your mate. You’re still grieving. So am I. We’re going to think about them, and I’d rather we be open about it. Wouldn’t you?”
He nodded, holding her a little tighter.
“Tell me what you were thinking. We’ll start there.”
“I tried to be a good mate to her, but I failed. She didn’t like me holding her. I like it that you do.”
Dana lifted one hand and brushed her fingers through his hair. “I like you holding me. I don’t think you failed, Mourn. Maybe she wasn’t into cuddling. Some people aren’t. That’s nothing bad on you.”
“She asked Destiny to hold her near the end.”
Dana looked confused again. “Who is that?”
“He’s a primate male nurse. He helped teach me how to care for her, and would come almost every day to check on her. She talked to him more than she ever did to me, and she asked him to hold her as she died. It hurt me deeply, but it was what she wanted so I allowed him to lift her onto his lap and cradle her against his chest as she took her last breaths.”
Dana paled, appearing shocked and horrified. “Mourn, I’m so sorry.”
“Destiny said not to take it personally. She was on pain medication, and not thinking clearly. He said it might have been instinctual for her to want to be held by another primate as she died.”
“I’m sure he was right.”
Mourn wouldn’t lie to Dana. “He was being kind. There were other primates there. Some of the females had come to be with her. She didn’t ask them to hold her. It was Destiny she reached for. Halfpint touched me by taking my hand. She fears males, but she must have seen how it hurt me, having to watch my mate die in another’s arms.”
“Who is Halfpint?”
“She’s one of the Gifts. They bonded to 139. My mate was the only primate female rescued who wasn’t a Gift.”
“What’s a gift?”
“Species who were created with domesticated, smaller animals and DNA from small humans. They were designed to be small and weak. They were to be given to the humans who invested a lot of money with Mercile Industries. They were gifted to them. Some thought of them as pets, others knew they weren’t strong enough to fight back if…when they were sexually attacked. They kept them locked up inside their homes.”
She looked horrified again.
He nodded. “Halfpint fears all males. She was heavily abused by the human who owned her. She still held my hand. That was comforting.”
“I’m glad she was there for you.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “We have total honesty, Dana. My mate never looked at me or touched me the way you do. I know you worry that I want you to take her place in my life, but I want more than what I had. I am truly happy when I’m with you. For the first time in my life.”
She stroked his hair and leaned closer. “Oh baby. I’m so sorry.” Tears shimmered in her eyes.
“I know you can never say the same to me since you had a very close bond with your mate, but I hope that one day you will look at me and not wish it was him holding you instead.”
“You’re breaking my heart,” she whispered. “Stop. Never say that again. That’s not true. I have never wished he was here instead of you. Not once. You’re Mourn. You’re sweet and kind. You’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met. There’s no comparison. You make me happy and you make me feel alive. That’s your doing. Do you understand?”
Her words helped, but they were being honest. “He was a good mate, and you had no lack of anything with him.”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t say that. I mean, he was good to me, but we had problems too, Mourn. Everyone does in a relationship.”
“You’re saying that to make me feel better.”
“No. I’m not.” She released his hair and put her hand back on his shoulder, holding his gaze. “Do you want to hear some of my marital problems?”
“You had some?”
“Everyone does.” She paused. “Tommy always had to have things his way. He wasn’t pushy or mean about it, but don’t think he wouldn’t use humor and a lot of cajoling to get me to agree to whatever he wanted. He insisted I be at his side at the company he