Always on My Mind Read online

  “I ruined him,” Dee said.

  “What? No,” Leah said emphatically. “No. Dee, you raised him well. You—”

  “I fell apart when his daddy died.” She nodded at Leah. “Don’t you pretend otherwise. I fell apart, and Jack watched me. And now he doesn’t do relationships.”

  “Dee,” Leah said, managing to find a laugh. “Your son has had more relationships than I have shoes. And we all know how many pairs of shoes I have. Too many to count.”

  Jack had always been irresistible to the opposite sex. Maybe because he’d always been tall and built with that protective, chivalrous air. Or maybe it was that spark in his rich caramel eyes, the one that said I’m trouble and worth every minute of it.

  In any case, Jack had had a way of getting himself into, and then smoothly out of, any so-called relationship with a girl without it ever getting ugly. He was what Leah jokingly labeled “a picker.” There was always some reason that he couldn’t take his relationships to the next level. Too clingy. Too ostentatious. Too crazy. She’d long ago decided not to obsess over what excuse he’d use to dump her, knowing there were too many to worry about.

  Dee was shaking her head. “I’m talking about a real relationship, Leah. One that lasts long enough for him to bring her home to meet me. He avoids doing that.” She paused. “Well, except for you, honey.”

  Leah’s stomach tightened. She and Jack hadn’t ever really gone there.

  Except that once. That almost once.

  “He’ll find the right woman,” she said quietly. “It only takes one.”

  “But when?”

  “Maybe he’s working on it.”

  “He’s not.” Dee’s brow was creased in worry, and her voice wobbled. “He’s not working on it at all. And he’s going to end up alone, as I have. And who could blame him? Ever since his dad died, it’s all I’ve shown him.”

  “Dee—”

  “It is my fault, Leah. He won’t get too attached. I taught him that. I have to undo it before it’s too late.”

  Her words grabbed Leah by the throat and held on. She wanted to say something, anything, like “it’s not too late” or “there’s lots of time,” but looking into Dee’s eyes, she knew that might not be true. Leah had a lot of faults, big, fat faults like running tail when the going got tough, pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t, and sometimes, late at night when no one was looking, she even ate store-bought cookies.

  But she didn’t lie.

  “I want to make this right for him,” Dee said quietly. Desperately. “I need to make this one thing right at least.”

  Jack was a black-and-white kind of guy and not all that complicated when it came right down to it. He hated closed spaces—an endless source of amusement to his coworkers. He hated snakes. He hated green toenail polish.

  And yet Leah could bank on the fact that he’d date anything blond and stacked, even if that stacked blonde lived in a small closet filled with snakes and wore green toenail polish.

  She also knew he was the most stubborn man on the planet. He’d argue the sky wasn’t blue, and it took an Act of Congress for him to admit when he was wrong about anything. But above all else, he was extremely careful not to share his heart. Which meant that Dee couldn’t make this right. And yet there she sat, looking so worried and so heartbreakingly ill.

  From the other side of the window, still on the phone, stood Jack, his posture giving away nothing.

  But Leah knew he was worried sick too.

  Kevin, now sitting on Jack’s big boot, was also looking worried. Worried that there wasn’t any food in his near future.

  But Jack…

  Damn. “He’s okay,” she said, hoping like hell that was really true.

  “But how do you know?” Dee asked.

  “Because…” And that’s when it happened, when Leah’s brain disconnected from her mouth. “We’re together.”

  Dee went still.

  So did Leah, still with shock at her own words.

  “Wait,” Dee said slowly. “You and Jack…really?” she asked, as if she didn’t trust her own hearing.

  “Uh—”

  “Oh my goodness, honey.” Dee was looking like she’d just found out it was Christmas morning and Santa had come. “Oh my goodness!”

  For someone who didn’t lie, this was a hell of a way to jump into the pool. Not a lie, Leah corrected.

  A fib.

  A fib told in order to give Dee the one thing Leah had to offer—a little peace of mind. Jack wouldn’t care. Probably.

  Okay, he was going to care.

  Unless…unless he never found out. Was that too much to hope for?

  “You and Jack,” Dee repeated, a slow, warm smile creasing her face. A real smile, one that seemed to light her up from within. “I’ve hoped,” she said, “oh how I’ve hoped. But he’s always got some silly woman in his sights, and you’re never here, and plus you’re both so damn stubborn—”

  The bakery door opened, the bell dinged, and Dee whirled around to face her son. “Oh, Jack! Oh, sweetheart, I’m so happy.”

  This clearly surprised the hell out of Jack. He stood there taking in his mom’s expression, obviously trying to figure out what had happened in the span of the five minutes he’d been outside that could have changed her mood so drastically.

  And also her appearance, Leah realized. Because Dee was…glowing.

  “You should have told me,” Dee said, practically vibrating. “Did you think I wouldn’t have been thrilled to hear that you and Leah are together?”

  Jack’s gaze locked on Leah, brow raised.

  Okay, so maybe he was going to find out.

  Chapter 3

  You and Leah are together… Jack’s mom’s words bounced around in his head like a Ping-Pong ball as he stared at Leah for an explanation.

  She had a hell of an explanation if her blush was any indication. “It just sort of came up,” she said, nibbling on her lower lip.

  He recognized the tell. She nibbled on her lip whenever she stepped in the proverbial pile of shit. “It just sort of came up,” he repeated, nodding like this made perfect sense to him. But then he shook his head because it made absolutely no sense at all. He knew he was off his game big-time, crazy with worry over his mom, but this was not computing. “What exactly sort of came up?”

  “Why, you and Leah, silly,” his mom said with a delighted laugh.

  A laugh.

  Jack hadn’t seen her so much as crack a smile in weeks.

  Maybe months.

  And here she was, laughing. Had it been only a day ago that she’d been lying on her couch in her Sunday best, arm poised dramatically over her eyes, as she told him that she was just going to die quietly and try not to make a mess “so don’t mind me.”

  “Me and Leah,” he said slowly, aware that he was starting to sound like a parrot. “What?”

  “Honestly, Jack.” His mom was still smiling easily, like she had in the old days. The very old days, before his dad had died. “I’m the shaky one today,” she said. “Turn on your brain.” She was beaming with joy.

  And Jack got his first real sense of doom. It started deep in his gut and ended up dead center between his eyes as a tension headache.

  Back in the spring, when they’d first gotten his mom’s diagnosis, his summer goal had been simple—get his mom through it. The goal was now in sight, the light at the end of the tunnel visible. It was August and she was beating the cancer, though granted the treatment was now the one endangering her.

  But he should have known nothing was ever as simple as it looked.

  “It’s so wonderful,” his mom said, hands clasped together. “I was just telling Leah that I’d always secretly hoped, but you two seemed so set on ignoring all the chemistry between the two of you. Remember back when Leah graduated high school, sweetheart? You were home from college for the summer, just before she left town. Remember how much she loved you back then?”

  Leah made a sound of embarrassment a