Always on My Mind Read online

  Dee shook her head and made herself busy cleaning out her purse.

  Elsie sighed and rose to her full four feet, eight inches. “It’s a sad day when I’m the risk taker.”

  “Grandma,” Leah said. “Where are you going?”

  “To the seniors.” She jabbed her cane in the direction of the other end of the stands, where a group of seniors sat together, joking and laughing. “They might be old, but at least they know how to kick it.”

  Chapter 25

  At a lull in the car washing, Jack pulled Ronald aside. “I wanted to talk to you about the forensics.”

  “Never mind that,” Ronald said. “I’ve got something more important.”

  “There’s something more important than the only serial arsonist in Lucky Harbor’s history?” Jack asked.

  Ronald blew out a sigh. “Said a guy who still has his entire love life ahead of him.”

  Jack paused. “Huh?”

  “I want to retire, goddammit!” Ronald burst out. “I want to retire so I can spend some time with someone I care about while sex is still more fun than bingo, or before I need a little blue pill to—”

  “Jesus! I get it, okay?” Jack resisted the urge to cover his ears like a little kid and go running.

  “I want that with your mom, Jack. I’m in love with her.”

  Jack shoved his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

  “How about that you’ll talk to her and tell her that she’s been a widow longer than she was a wife. That it’s time to look around and see there are other fish in the sea. That she should keep the smile you put on her face with the whole you and Leah thing. That she could have it for herself if she wanted, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be pretend.”

  Jack looked into Ronald’s eyes. He was solemn and quite serious, and…not at all nervous. Ronald was a steady, stand-up sort of guy who didn’t do things frivolously or without merit. If he said something, it was so.

  And he wasn’t asking for Jack’s opinion on his feelings, or for Jack to necessarily approve. “You know she’s not…well.”

  “You’re enabling her.”

  “She’s been through a lot,” Jack said tightly.

  “And she’s survived. She’s going to keep surviving.” He gave Jack one last long look and moved off.

  More cars pulled into the lot. Jack washed two cars on autopilot, then looked up when he realized Danica was standing there talking to him. “I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “What?”

  She was in a skimpy little white sundress that showed off her curves to perfection, and she sent him a smile that said she knew it. “I said I heard that you and Leah are over, and that you should let me help you commiserate.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Aw.” She hugged him before he could stop her. “You’re so brave,” she said. “So hurt. You call me when you’re ready. I can help, Jack. I promise.”

  Jack caught sight of his mom and managed to disentangle himself. “Sorry,” he said. “I’ve got to go,” and he strode over to Dee. “Hey,” he said.

  “Son.”

  Not a happy tone. But then again, other than when Leah had told her he was in a relationship, he hadn’t heard a happy tone from her in so long he’d nearly forgotten what it sounded like. “You okay?” he asked. “Why are you here?”

  “To support my son,” she said and lowered her voice. “The one who felt he had to lie to me.”

  Having no idea how she’d found out, he pulled her aside for privacy. “Mom—”

  “Oh no. Don’t you ‘mom’ me in that tone. Jack—” She cupped his face. “I didn’t want you to make my mistakes. I didn’t want you to wallow. I’m so deeply ashamed that you saw me give up like I did. And then to make you feel like you had to fake a relationship to make me happy… No.” She inhaled deeply. “This isn’t about me. It shouldn’t be about me. It’s your turn, Jack. Your turn to be happy.”

  “I am happy.” Or he had been, until about 0100 hours last night.

  She stared up into his eyes. “You aren’t. Lie number two. Good Lord, Jack. What else have you lied about?”

  “Remember that time Jack told you that someone hit-and-ran your car? Not true. He ran over Mr. Lyons’s mailbox.”

  They both turned to face Ben, who raised his hands in surrender. “Not funny yet? Sorry, my bad.” He started to back up, but Dee reached out and snagged him by the front of the shirt. “Did you know?”

  “Uh…” He slid a glance at Jack. “Hard to tell. Did I know what exactly?”

  “That Jack and Leah were faking their relationship just to make me happy.”

  “Uh…,” Ben repeated, shoving his hands in his pockets and hunching his shoulders. He’d faced hell itself with a shocking fearlessness, but his beloved Aunt Dee in a mood simply terrified him.

  “Benjamin Matthew Kincaid,” she said sternly. “Look at me.”

  Ben met her gaze unflinchingly. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Don’t you ‘ma’am’ me!” Dee threw her arms around him. “I love you so much, you big, cranky, adorable sweetheart. So much more than your idiot cousin.”

  Ben had winced at the “adorable sweetheart” but his arms closed around Dee, as over her head his amused gaze met Jack’s. “Of course you do,” he murmured to Dee.

  Jack flipped Ben off.

  Ben returned the gesture without letting go of Dee.

  Dee pushed free and looked up at Ben. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Ben said.

  “You have no idea what I’m thanking you for.”

  “None,” Ben agreed.

  Dee laughed and smacked him lightly on the chest. “For letting Jack pretend to be with Leah. Thank you.”

  “Let?” Ben asked. “Dee, no offense, but no one lets Jack do shit. He does whatever he wants, when he wants.”

  Dee beamed. “Exactly.”

  When both Jack and Ben just stared at her, she shook her head. “Honestly, do I have to spell everything out? You don’t see? Neither Jack nor Leah pretended anything.”

  Jack shook his head, seeing where she was going with this. “Mom, listen—”

  “No, Jack. You listen. You’ve been so good to me. And I’ve had a good life. All I wanted for you is the love of a great woman, someone who would treat you right and take care of you. And then I could die happy.”

  Jesus. “Mom—”

  “And when I’m gone,” she said. “I—”

  “Mom. Stop.”

  “I’m not done, Jack.”

  “Hell no, you’re not done. You’re not dying.”

  “But—”

  “You’re not. I’m not going to let you,” he said very seriously.

  At his side, Ben nodded just as solemnly. “No one’s dying,” he agreed. “Especially you. You’re the glue, Dee. We need the glue.”

  “Oh.” She breathed and sniffed noisily, searching her pockets, presumably for a tissue. “Oh, you boys are just the sweetest things.”

  Again Ben winced at the “sweet” moniker but offered her the hem of his T-shirt for her to swipe at her eyes.

  “And as for Dad,” Jack said. “You’ve waved the widow’s weeds for long enough. I know you loved him; we all know it. And I know you miss him, but that doesn’t mean you’re half human. Live, dammit. It’s worth it.”

  She stared at him, and then, horrifying him, her eyes filled with tears again.

  “Ah, Mom. No.” He pulled her in and hugged her, pressing his jaw to the top of her head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t you dare be sorry.” She sniffed and pressed her face to his chest. “I shouldn’t have let everything overcome me as much as I have.” She lifted her head. “I taught you boys better than that.”

  “You did,” Ben said quietly. “You taught us to go for what we wanted, and we each did.”

  Jack didn’t say anything because in Ben’s case it was absolutely true. Ben had wanted to design and build stuff, and he had. He’d wanted to fall in lo