THE BACHELOR'S BED Read online

  "And now you're paying the price." Irene made a small noise of distress. "I shouldn't have pushed him into this. I'm so sorry."

  More than anything in that moment, Lani needed love, desperately. She needed a hug, needed to feel the warmth. It seemed natural to surge forward and hug Irene tight.

  It took Irene only one second of hesitation before she wrapped her arms around Lani. "I'm sorry. So, so sorry," she murmured, her voice rough with her own unshed team.

  The affection from a woman very unused to such things made Lani cry harder, but it was worth it. For one last special moment, she held onto a part of Colin's life. A life she'd wanted for herself with all her heart. "I have to go," she whispered, knowing if she hung around now she'd make a fool of herself.

  Irene straightened away, her own eyes suspiciously damp. "Where? What will happen?"

  "I don't know."

  Irene's gaze was still hurting, but searching, too. "Truth, Lani. Was this engagement ever real?"

  Only for herself. It'd been all too real. And short.

  "Damn him," Irene breathed when Lani didn't answer. "How could he have done this to you? To me? To the entire town? It's unthinkable."

  "Don't judge him too harshly," Lani begged. "He had his reasons and they were unselfish ones. He didn't want to hurt you or anyone else."

  Irene nodded, looking thoughtful. "Yes, I see where he thought he was doing the right thing. Maybe there's hope for him then."

  Lani couldn't imagine it; she'd given him everything she'd had and that hadn't been good enough. She had nothing left but her pride, and she was taking that home. "I'm sorry about tonight." The thought of her engagement party seemed … obscene. "Will you be all right?"

  "Don't you dare worry about me." For the first time since they'd met, Irene made the first move of physical affection. She reached out and clasped Lani's hands. "Are you sure you have to leave? There's nothing left?"

  There was plenty left. Too much. It was why she had to go. "I have to leave, Irene. For me. Do you understand?"

  "I don't want to, but of course I do. Lani, darling…" her eyes filled again "…take care."

  And so, for the second time in her life, Lani lost a mother. She wanted to hate Colin for that alone, but couldn't. Not when she understood him so well.

  She managed to walk away, but it was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Remembering his last words helped.

  It's not real, he'd said. It never was.

  By leaving, she was breaking her word to Colin, something she'd sworn never to do, but it could no longer be helped.

  It took her a pathetically short amount of time to pack—less than three minutes. She left the cool house and stepped out into the simmering heat. She got in her car, rolled down her windows and drove off while Colin was still in his office, probably still on his phone casually denying everything she had believed in.

  Risk.

  She'd wanted one, and in the bargain had gotten far more than she'd counted on. Oh, well, it was done. She wouldn't regret it.

  She headed down the hill and crossed the tracks.

  * * *

  Colin heard the front door shut. Between himself and Lani, and now his family, he heard the sound many times a day.

  But for some reason, this time his head came up. His heart clenched. A very bad feeling filled his gut. Something was wrong.

  Claudia was still talking in his ear so he shook off the feeling and made a new attempt to listen to her listing his messages. They were important, he knew this, but he couldn't concentrate.

  Not when inside him there was a sudden, terrifying aloneness. "I'm sorry, Claudia, I've got to go." He hung up the phone, then went still as he tried to place his sudden uneasiness.

  The house was silent as it hadn't been since … since before Lani had come into his life. He got up and left the office.

  The living room was empty. So was the kitchen. His unease grew. "Lani?" he called out. Nothing. No sweet voice, no musical, contagious laughter.

  Spurred on by a strange fear, he raced up the stairs. She wasn't in the bedroom, where he'd left her soundly sleeping only a little while before. He remembered how she'd looked when he came out of the shower, sleeping so peacefully, looking heart-wrenchingly at home in his huge bed, wearing nothing more than his sheets and a contented expression.

  Now she was gone.

  Probably at work, he assured himself.

  But the panic persisted. He looked in the bathroom.

  Her toothbrush was gone.

  So was her hairbrush and her small bag of makeup. Heart racing, palms damp, Colin raced back into the bedroom, but there was no mistake.

  All her clothes were gone.

  She'd left him.

  She'd broken her promise and—

  "Well, Son, you finally did it," said his mother from behind him. "Chased away the best thing ever to happen to you."

  "She's … gone," he said, stunned. His thoughts raced back to last night, to their incredible night of passion. Had she been upset, even as he'd held her, touched her, tasted her? Remembering her soft cries, her not-so-soft demands for more, the way she'd held him clenched tight to her, he knew she hadn't been holding back, harboring any resentment.

  She was too honest for that.

  But was he honest enough to see the truth? He knew she loved him, knew that he hadn't been able to say those words back to her.

  And he knew, dammit, he knew that eventually what he'd given her wouldn't be enough. She'd want the pretense dropped once and for all.

  She'd want him for real.

  Why hadn't he given her that? Why had he held on to his fear in the face of the most incredulous, giving love he'd ever received? "She's really gone," he said again, bewildered, sinking to his bed. He looked around him as if she might materialize out of nowhere. "Gone."

  "Yes," his mother said.

  "She promised." He had no idea why he said it, it just popped out, and he wouldn't take back the words because suddenly pride meant nothing. "She promised."

  "Promised what?"

  No, dammit. He couldn't pin this on her. This was his fault, all his fault. "What happened?"

  "She came out of the room next to your office, looking like she'd seen a ghost…" She paused. "Or maybe she heard something? Something that would hurt her?"

  Colin closed his eyes, knowing what he'd done. What she'd heard, and how it would have crushed her.

  Claudia had been so eager to help, so eager to rush him down the aisle, and he'd balked.

  But even as he'd done so, he'd known in his heart he wanted to throw the deception out the window and hold Lani to him forever. Forever. And that meant vows.

  So why had he been so adamant with Claudia? Stubbornness, pure and simple, and Lani had been on the other side of the wall, unable to see the truth in his eyes, hearing only what he had said to his secretary.

  It's not real, it never was.

  He'd said that to Claudia and Lani had heard him and believed it. Why wouldn't she? He'd certainly said it enough.

  Just another lie.

  He swore.

  "Oh, yes, it's a mess," his mother agreed solemnly. "And you only realize the half of it."

  "What are you talking about?"

  "In less than eight hours everyone that knows you is converging here for the engagement party of the year. It's going to be unpleasant without a fiancée, Colin."

  "That's the least of my problems at the moment." He sighed and looked into his mother's hurt eyes. "I'm sorry."

  "I don't think I'm the one you should be apologizing to."

  "No, you're wrong about that. I tried to fool you. I lied to you."

  His mother gave him a sad, forgiving smile. "I might still have been furious, but Lani pointed out that you had good reasons and even better intentions, and I have to agree with her." She sat next to him. "You're a wonderful man, Colin. You can run your own life perfectly well and I shouldn't have tried to interfere. I hope you'll forgive me for that."

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