THE BACHELOR'S BED Read online

  With one last look at her, Colin walked down the hallway, thinking Lani shouldn't be working, not so soon after her concussion. She should be in bed. Maybe he'd put her there himself.

  Yeah, he liked that idea.

  Then he stood in the doorway to his office, staring in horror at the crushed mess of metal and delicate laser model laying on his floor. Above it, tears in her eyes, stood Lani.

  Carmen stood quietly next to her, looking both defeated and afraid. Refusing to acknowledge Colin's presence, she stared at her clenched hands. He gritted his teeth. His ruined prototype looked like a cheap two-dollar toy.

  "I'm so sorry, Colin," Lani said quickly. "It was a terrible accident. Carmen was dusting and—"

  "It's ruined."

  His eyes were dark, angry and colder than Lani had ever seen them. "Yes, I know. I'm so sorry."

  "I'd like to talk to you alone," he said in a terribly quiet voice.

  "But—"

  "Now."

  Lani could hardly move she was so upset. Awkwardly, she made a few signs, and for once Carmen didn't pretend to not understand.

  With one last furtive glance at Colin, the older woman escaped through the door.

  It was the first time she'd left Colin's presence without sticking out her tongue.

  Despite Lani's best efforts not to cry, two tears squeezed out, slid down her cheeks. "God, Colin. I feel sick."

  "That's because you shouldn't be working today, dammit."

  "Not from the concussion. From what I've done! Tell me the cost of the damage."

  "It's irreplaceable, Lani."

  It was his tone that got her, that distant tone that told her she was nothing to him but an irresponsible maid. "Everything can be replaced for the right amount," she said. "Tell me the cost and I promise to somehow—"

  He laughed. Laughed. "You could work for the rest of your life cleaning and still not make enough."

  The implication of that sank in. She knew he was angry, he had a right to be. She had made a horrible, heart-breaking mistake and she would do anything she could to rectify it.

  What couldn't be rectified was her pride. "Are you telling me there's nothing I can do to make this better?"

  "Firing her would be a great start."

  "Carmen?"

  "Who else?"

  "I…" She didn't understand why he would ask such a thing, but she thought of Carmen's three grandchildren, the ones that Carmen struggled to raise by herself. Lani could never live with herself if she fired the woman, but that was beside the point. She would never choose the welfare of four lives over the value of one thing, no matter how important that one thing was. "I can't believe you can ask me to do that."

  "I'm not asking, I'm telling."

  "I don't follow orders well," she warned him, her voice shaking. "Not even for you."

  "You'd keep her after this?" he asked incredulously. "After she broke the laser prototype?"

  Now she understood and was overwhelmed with sadness for his quick judgment. "Carmen didn't break the model, Colin. I did."

  "No."

  "I tried to tell you, you didn't want to listen. Carmen was dusting and saw a spider. She made a funny strangled noise and I jerked around. When I did, my elbow bumped the laser. It shattered before I could catch it."

  His eyes were hard and shuttered. "You're covering for her. You wouldn't be so clumsy."

  The sorrow spread through her veins, killing her spirit. "Then you don't know very much about me. Certainly less than I thought if you think I'd fire Carmen over my own error."

  "I know you better than you think. You have a save-the-world-heart. You're trying to save Carmen, and she doesn't deserve it."

  "I'm telling you, it wasn't her fault."

  He stared at her, clearly unable to believe she could be so loyal. But then again, he hadn't had a lot of loyalty in his life. She tried to remember this and looked for a sign of the warm, loving, passionate man she'd been with the night before.

  He was completely gone, hidden behind a mask of grim, unforgiving anger.

  But she did see a flicker of something that looked suspiciously like fear, and it made her heart hurt. "You're using this as an excuse to push me away," she realized. "Did last night scare you that much?"

  A tightening of his lips was her only answer.

  "It was the real thing and you can't take it." She let out a hurt little laugh. "I'm right, aren't I? You can't trust me enough to give me your heart. You woke up and panicked. You needed a reason to be hard and ungiving, to back off and tell yourself you were right in doing so. I just gave you that excuse. Well, damn you, Colin West. After all we've shared, you still can't do it. You can't let yourself love me."

  "You're forgetting again, dammit, that this is all pretend."

  "Oh, no. It stopped being pretend the moment you first touched me, and you know it. And even if you somehow didn't, then last night should have proved it to you once and for all."

  "No." But his voice was hoarse. "You agreed to this, Lani. I knew I was asking a lot, but you agreed to play house. It's all a show."

  He was right, but that only made her feel worse. She wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. "I realize this is the last straw for you, Colin. You see your project set back even further now. You see me having to stay longer. You see your peaceful, quiet existence permanently in your past. I understand. I'll back out of this office job. And out of the deal, if you'd like. But don't you dare lie to my face and tell me you never had feelings for me."

  He dragged in a ragged breath and admitted nothing.

  She looked at him, hoping to find a piece of the man she'd fallen for, but there was no one but the successful, rich, disdainful inventor, the one who could and would trust no one.

  "I was there last night," she said urgently, trying one last time to reach him, knowing this was her last chance. "I saw your face when we made love, I saw the wonder and the affection and the heat swimming in your eyes. You can't tell me it was fake. I won't believe you."

  Colin had no idea what to say to her, not when his head was spinning with the need to run away, far and fast. Yes, he lusted after her, deeply. But lust wasn't love.

  He didn't do love.

  He simply couldn't allow himself to fall for this woman who had turned his life upside down without trying. Couldn't allow himself to get in that deep because he wouldn't be able to take it when it was over.

  "Obviously you're not ready for this," she said, pinching her lips together. He thought he saw more moisture fill her eyes, which was like a knife to his gut, but she blinked, clearing it away.

  Gently, she scooped the shattered laser onto her dustpan, then very carefully set the entire mess on his desk. "I'm very sorry, Colin," she said quietly, straightening. "I'd do anything to be able to take it back. I know I can't. I only wish that you'd understand I'd rather rip out my own heart than hurt you."

  He didn't say a word when she came close, smelling like sweet summer rain, looking strong yet vulnerable in a way that made him want to throw everything he'd said out the window. With an incredibly light touch, she set her hands on his shoulders, bracing herself so that she could reach up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

  "Good-bye," she whispered.

  Then she was gone.

  Colin stood there, still frozen. He had been blown away by her intense determination to break through to him, by her fierce loyalty to Carmen, by her need to make him understand. That she had walked away now, when he knew damn well how much his business meant to her own, caused a deep, piercing ache.

  He was an idiot. A big, dumb jerk. He was taking his frustrations out on her and an old woman for God's sake.

  For an encore he'd have to go beat up some orphans.

  Disgusted with himself, he walked to his desk and took a good long look at what he'd put before everything else. Pieces of metal, nothing more.

  Shattered, like his heart.

  He looked at the closed door, certain he'd just let the best thing ever