It Must Be Christmas Read online

  “I got it,” Derrick said, his gaze downcast.

  “All right. Get settled in. You can do your homework at the kitchen table.”

  Chloe left Derrick in the guest room and headed into the living room. Her legs gave out when she hit the couch and she slumped down onto the cushions. She’d never felt so damned raw and now she had to deal with the guilt of making promises to a ten-year-old boy that she knew she’d never be able to keep.

  Volunteers were few and far between. The good ones were overworked and spread too thin. The purpose of the foundation had been to not only build the sports facilities but to pay full-time coaches. So many programs were pay-to-play. Club fees were outrageous and coaching fees were more than a lot of families could afford. Chloe had hoped to offer the same opportunities to kids who wouldn’t get to play organized sports otherwise. Kids involved in sports were better students, more motivated, and stayed out of trouble. Now, all of her hard work was slowly swirling down the toilet. She hated to let people down. Tonight, she’d let Nate down. And next week, she’d be letting hundreds of kids and families down. Awesome.

  Chloe ordered a pizza and got Derrick set up at the kitchen table. In addition to her last-ditch effort to find emergency investors, she’d be meeting with both social services and Derrick’s foster parents tomorrow. She couldn’t think much further into the future. If she did, she’d lose it for sure. Unemployment, job searches, failure, and heartache loomed over her like a noose that slowly choked her. Something had to give. If it didn’t, Chloe was going to crack for sure.

  Feet propped up on the coffee table and her laptop open and ready to go, Chloe hunkered down for a long night of research. She sent off several e-mails to former colleagues at Make-A-Wish. One of them might have a suggestion that she hadn’t thought of yet. Her cell rang from beside her and Chloe checked the caller ID: Nate. With the speed of hummingbird wings, her heart took flight and Chloe’s mouth went dry. She held the phone in her palm, her thumb hovering over the screen to accept the call. The hurtful words he’d said to her came crashing back and Chloe hit Ignore.

  She couldn’t open herself up to more hurt. Talking to Nate right now would only mess with her head and her heart. The voice mail alert went off and her fingers itched to play the message. Don’t do it, Chloe. The things he said to you can’t be fixed with I’m sorry. She was still too angry and hurt over the things he’d said to let him off the hook.

  Yet, her finger slid across the screen. She brought the phone to her ear, fearful of what Nate would say and at the same, hopeful.

  “Chloe.” The sound of her name was a tortured groan at the back of his throat. He paused and let out a long breath. “God, Chloe. I’m so, so sorry. I was completely out of line. I know that an apology isn’t going to erase the things I said. But I want to make it up to you. Want to prove to you that I’m not that asshole who said those horrible things. If I could take it all back, I would. Chloe…” His voice hitched. “I can’t picture a tomorrow without you in it. We need to talk. There’s a lot I haven’t told you and I want a chance to explain. Please call me.”

  Chloe set her phone back down beside her. What else could he possibly have to say? Her heart softened as she thought about the way his voice broke with emotion. Maybe he truly regretted the things he’d said. Chloe knew that Nate wasn’t exactly a serene pond. He was a volcano, ready to erupt with even the slightest disturbance.

  No. She couldn’t excuse his behavior. Couldn’t let him think that it was okay to treat her that way. Was it fair to not give him a chance, though?

  “Chloe, are you gonna marry Nate?”

  “What?” She set her laptop aside and craned her neck toward the dining room. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  She could think of a million reasons why not. The least of them being the fact that he hadn’t asked her. Chloe was struck by how much had changed in just a few hours. She’d gone from daydreams of domestic bliss—maybe even marriage—to having her heart smashed under the assault of Nate’s words.

  “I don’t think Nate wants to marry me.” This totally wasn’t the sort of conversation she wanted to be having with a ten-year-old. Hell, it wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have at all!

  “He does,” Derrick said, matter of fact. “I could tell the other day at lunch. He looks at you like he wants to marry you.”

  Chloe choked on a half-sob, half-laugh. “I don’t know about that, kiddo.”

  “You should marry him,” Derrick continued on, lost in his own fantasy. “You guys could take me out for pizza and to soccer games. Do you think Nate would want to watch me play?”

  Tears stung at Chloe’s eyes. All Derrick needed was a stable home and someone who could give him attention and encouragement. It wouldn’t take much to keep him from getting into trouble. And goddamn it, she was going to let him down. Let a bunch of kids just like him down. All because she hadn’t been honest with Nate the first night they’d met. All because she hadn’t been up-front with him when she’d made the decision to reach out to Travis.

  “I think he’d love to watch you play,” Chloe said through the thickness in her throat. “You’re an excellent soccer player.”

  “Sometimes,” Derrick said, his train of thought already moving on to something else. “Coach says I need to kick with the top of my foot when I’m shooting, though.”

  “You’ll get it,” she said. “You just need to keep practicing.”

  “I will,” he assured her. “I’m sorry I got into trouble today, Chloe. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

  “I know,” she said. Her chest ached with all of the crippling emotions she wished she didn’t feel. Most of all, the want she felt for the only man who’d ever managed to lay claim to her heart and break it all in the same day.

  TWELVE

  “I’ve never seen a SEAL cower in the presence of an office building before.”

  Nate gave Travis the side-eye. It was true, Chloe’s office had never looked more imposing, and his goddamned heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest like one of those things in Alien. He hadn’t heard a word from Chloe since he’d left the message on her voice mail five days ago. In fact, she’d washed her hands of the Christensens altogether, telling Travis that she didn’t feel right accepting his donation after what had happened between her and Nate.

  Fuck that. She might not have wanted to talk to him, but he refused to let her foundation close its doors. Like Travis said, it was time for Nate to think about the legacy he wanted to leave.

  “You sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” Travis teased.

  “There’s no use in both of us being thrown out. I’ll be fine.”

  “Good luck, brother,” Travis said. “Lunch later?”

  “I have a pre–holiday break board meeting,” Nate groused.

  “Try not to sound so excited.” Travis laughed. He put the Chevy in gear and waited for Nate to close the door.

  “Yeah. That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to sit through it.”

  “Damn straight. Good luck,” Travis said as Nate shut the passenger door.

  “Thanks.” He was going to need it.

  Nate drew in a deep breath and held it in his lungs. When they started to burn, he let the air out in a rush that made his brain buzz and his skin tingle. He pulled open the glass door and stepped up to the reception desk, piled high with banker’s boxes and large manila envelopes. All he could see of the receptionist was the top of her blond head. “I’m here to see Chloe.”

  “Nate!”

  A kid’s voice called out from down the hallway and Nate turned to see Derrick rushing toward him. “Hey little man.” Nate held out his fist and Derrick bumped it with his. “What’s up?”

  “Staying with Chloe,” he said. “For a while, anyway.”

  Could that be why he hadn’t heard from her? Nate could only hope that she’d ignored him not because she never wanted to see him again, but because she had her hands full. “Is