It Must Be Christmas Read online

  “Me too,” Robin piped up from across the table.

  “It’s not like that,” she answered, laughing tightly. “Besides, I can handle myself, I promise. Right now I just need something to eat. Like my sweet potato fries that are getting cold.”

  The topic was set aside as they finished their meal, even though Charlie was always aware of Dave back in the far corner, talking and laughing with his pals. Charlie actually thought she might be able to scoot out of the pub and tackle her shopping, and when Josh paid their bill for lunch, she stood and reached for her coat and scarf while Robin excused herself to go to the bathroom.

  Charlie’s hand was nearly in the second sleeve when the weight of her coat disappeared and the hole of her sleeve shifted into a more accessible position. Her tummy flipped over as she realized it had to be Dave, standing close behind her. She shrugged the coat over her shoulders and took a breath. She could do this. She could have a conversation with him without wanting to rip his clothes off.

  She turned around and realized she was wrong. He was just so … everything.

  “Hey,” he said quietly, and her tongue felt thick in her mouth as she struggled to find something cool to say.

  “Hi.”

  It could have been worse. What was it about him that turned her into an idiot?

  “How’ve you been?”

  “Fine. You?”

  “Not so great, as it happens.”

  “Oh?” She relaxed a little. “Did you get the cold that’s going around? I’ve been seeing people in the office all week.”

  “No,” he said quietly, his gaze locked on hers. “I’ve been wanting to call you since Tuesday, and keep convincing myself I shouldn’t.”

  Boom. Forget relaxed. All her senses went on high alert again.

  “Dave, I…”

  “And that’s why. I didn’t want to hear you turn me down or scramble to find an excuse to say no.”

  She wanted to explain, but it would sound so terribly juvenile to admit to him that she’d watched him for weeks during her lunch hour. That he’d been her guilty little pleasure, a kind of escape from the day-to-day real world. It would sound creepy. Neither was it possible to bring up the other reason—that she was looking for a husband and father to her as-yet unborn children and didn’t think he was that guy. Talk about putting the cart before the horse … That would be enough to send any man running for the hills.

  “Anyway, have a nice weekend, Charlie. It was good to see you.” He peeked into the stroller and a soft smile curved his lips. “You too, sprout,” he said quietly, and she melted all over again.

  And that should have been the end of it. Except she didn’t want him to walk away. What she wanted to do was break free for once from the only kind of existence she’d ever known. One based on pros and cons and logic and safety and security. The one that never took risks. She’d bought the requisite dollhouse cottage on the sea in an idyllic small town with the perfect job, putting all the pieces of the puzzle together to find the life she craved.

  Which, she was quickly realizing, was simply setting herself up for failure.

  “Dave?”

  He turned back.

  “Look, uh…” Wow, she sounded so eloquent and composed. She tried a weak smile. “Do you want to take a walk or something?”

  His gaze warmed. “I thought you’d never ask. Let me ditch the guys and grab my jacket.”

  Robin came from the bathroom. “Oh, you’re ready. Shall we go?”

  “You go ahead,” Charlie said. “Daniel and I are going to catch up on some shopping.”

  Which might have been a good excuse if Dave hadn’t returned in record time. “I’m back.”

  Robin’s grin was wide and her eyes twinkled. “Yes, you are. Well, Charlie, you have fun shopping.” To make matters worse, she winked at them. “I’ll see you Monday morning.”

  “I hate small towns,” Charlie muttered, and Dave chuckled behind her.

  “Oh, come on. They have a certain charm.”

  Charlie pulled on her gloves as they made their way to the door. She wasn’t quite prepared for the blast of cold air that smacked her in the face as they stepped outside, though, and she adjusted the blanket tucked around the baby. “It’s funny,” she said, huddling into her coat. “This is considered a mild day. And it really is so much better than earlier in the week. But you know what? It’s still damned cold.”

  Dave laughed beside her. “There’s a lot of winter left. You should get used to it. Personally, I can handle the cold if we still get sun, you know?”

  She did know. There was something about dull, gray, dreary days that made her want to sleep and eat carbs all day long. She was always glad when the time changed in spring.

  “So, was that a late lunch or early dinner?” she asked, as they started to stroll along the boardwalk.

  “We decided to knock off early today,” Dave said in reply. “Friday afternoon, and we had a good week. We brought Jim Williams’s boat into dock this afternoon, but there wasn’t much sense in starting anything until Monday morning.” His big body sheltered her from a bit of the wind. “Know what always amazes me? Lobstermen this time of year. What a thankless, cold job. You think it’s cold here, imagine being out on the water, checking traps. Brrr.”

  They wandered along the boardwalk for a minute. Finally Dave spoke again, his voice deeper than it had been only moments before. More private, intimate.

  “You’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”

  “No!” The answer came out before she could consider what best to say. “I mean … damn. I just did some thinking after our lunch the other day.”

  “Did you sit down and make a checklist?”

  Her cheeks flamed, despite the cold. “Look, Dave, I’ve had relationships before. And they were…”

  She broke off the sentence and considered. What made this different? “They were people I already knew. That I had something in common with.”

  “Doctors and med students, then.”

  She nodded. “Well, yes.” She looked over at him and tried being as transparent as she could. “We already had something in common, so no shortage of things to talk about. We ran in the same circles, knew the same people.”

  “Wow, Charlie,” he said, shaking his head a little. “I totally didn’t have you pegged as a snob. I’m just a guy who works on the docks, right?”

  She stopped walking, shocked by his assumption, belatedly realizing how it sounded. “God no! That’s not it. It’s more…” She struggled to explain. “I guess it was more that we all had similar lives. Crazy schedules, goals, expectations for the future.”

  “Safe,” he supplied.

  “I suppose so,” she agreed, though she’d never considered that before. It made complete sense now that he’d said it, though. She’d dated within that sphere because it was comfortable. Expectations were managed. There was little ambiguity.

  “The thing you have to understand about me is that I don’t really know how to be … I don’t know, spontaneous. I’ve always based decisions on logic, common sense. There’s always a plan and a goal.”

  “Good God, that sounds terrible.”

  She couldn’t help it, she laughed, and he chuckled too. Their boots made scuffing noises on the boardwalk and gulls wheeled and cried above the harbor. The tension between her shoulders began to let go. Maybe this was what she’d needed too. Some fresh air and relaxation.

  “It isn’t as terrible as it sounds.” Not always, anyway. “It probably comes from having two very driven parents. We didn’t do anything on a whim or for sheer pleasure. It had to have a purpose. I don’t even remember them going out just for fun. Dinner dates and social events were for networking. Course selection was based on advancement. Medical school provided me with security…”

  “I’m getting the picture. Sounds like you had a very … productive upbringing.”

  That was it exactly.

  “I don’t really know how to do anything else. And I don