Strange Bedpersons Read online

  “You don’t have to adapt. I’m just afraid to get married. You can still have me.” Tess let her head roll back against the seat. “In fact, you’ve got me.”

  “No,” Nick said. “I want commitment.”

  “You’re drunk. You don’t want commitment. You’re a guy. Get a grip.”

  The cab pulled up in front of Nick’s house, and he leaned forward to pay the cabbie before he opened the door and got out. He took Tess’s hand to help her out and then he walked her to the door, his arm tight around her shoulders. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  “I didn’t do so good, did I?” Tess said, while he unlocked the front door. “Welch is still going to publish that damn book. And you don’t have a job. And neither do I, since Welch is going to sink me with Decker.” Then she brightened. “But on the other hand, I still have my jacket.”

  “In the morning,” Nick repeated, and gave her a gentle shove into the house before following her in.

  THE RIVER INN WAS BRIMMING with hearty, smiling people when the waiter showed Nick to a table the next morning. Nick peered blearily over the top of his dark glasses, winced, and put his glasses back on.

  “Coffee,” he said to the waiter. “Very, very black.”

  “Very good, sir,” the waiter said.

  “Hurry,” Nick said, and concentrated on keeping his head from exploding while he waited for caffeine and relief.

  Park and Gina took chairs across from him just as the waiter delivered his cup.

  “Why the dark glasses?” Park asked.

  “Because I have the hangover from hell, and the sunlight makes my brain shudder.” Nick picked up his coffee and sipped it carefully.

  “Where’s Tess?” Gina whipped her head around like a hyperactive bird, bright and tensely eager to enjoy the morning. Too bright and eager. Her smile looked like it was strung from her ears.

  “Why aren’t you in excruciating head-banging pain?” Nick snarled at her.

  “Because she threw up again when we got home,” Park said. “I think she lost everything she’d eaten for the past month. Definitely got rid of the alcohol. Nothing left inside to make her sick. Smart woman. So what about breakfast?”

  “Do you mind?” Nick scowled at him. “What did you do—throw up with her?”

  “Me? Oh, I never have hangovers.” Park picked up the menu. “Crepes. How does cherry sauce sound, Gina?”

  “Wait a minute.” Nick put up his hand. “I’m the healthy one around here. I don’t drink, smoke, stay up late or run around with strange women. So why are you fine and I’m hung over?”

  “Lack of practice,” Park said. “You can’t just jump into debauchery one night and expect to get the hang of it by morning. It takes years. And anyway, Tess is strange.”

  “She is not,” Gina said from the depths of the menu.

  “Strange in a nice way,” Park amended. “But you’ve got to admit she’s different.”

  “That’s true,” Gina said. She peered cautiously at Park over the edge of the menu. “How about if I get waffles with blueberry sauce? Then maybe you can have some of mine and I’ll take some of your crepes?”

  “Great,” Park said, and Gina put down the menu and smiled at him shyly.

  Nick groaned. “It’s too early in the morning for young love. Knock it off.”

  “Hey, we’ve been putting up with you and Tess for weeks,” Park said. “By the way, where is Tess?”

  “Next door at the newsstand, arguing with the clerk.” Nick lifted his glasses and tried to find her through the sunlight that screamed through the restaurant. “I don’t know what she’s doing. I left her because I needed coffee.”

  “About this new partnership idea—” Park began and then stopped when Tess dropped into the chair beside Nick.

  “Mission accomplished,” Tess said. “So how are you all this morning? Still engaged?”

  Gina stiffened and looked at her with venom iced with despair.

  “Of course we’re still engaged,” Park said.

  Gina’s mouth fell open and she turned to face him. “You mean it?”

  He looked at her in surprise. “Of course I mean it. Why would I change my mind?”

  Gina blinked and swallowed. “Well, you were drunk when you asked me. And then I threw up in the most expensive restaurant in town in front of your parents and half of Riverbend society. And—”

  “I’m sober now,” Park said. “Will you marry me?”

  “Yes,” Gina said faintly.

  “Good,” Park said. “Let’s order breakfast.”

  Gina put her hand on his arm. “Don’t you care that you’ll never be able to go back to The Levee again?”

  Park patted her hand. “Gina, The Levee needs us more than we need them. We can go back anytime.”

  “Us?” Gina said.

  “Us,” Park said. “Are you going to make me propose again?”

  “Probably,” Gina said. “I’m having a hard time getting this.” She gazed up at him in watery disbelief, and then she began to smile through her tears. “Maybe last night wasn’t the worst night of my life.”

  “Well, personally I enjoyed the evening tremendously,” Tess said. “Which is why I just sent a thank-you gift to the Pattersons.”

  Nick looked at her suspiciously over his sunglasses. “What did you do?”

  “I sent them a nice gift subscription,” Tess said. “Delivered straight to their door every week.” She smiled. “For the next five years.”

  “A subscription to what?” Nick asked, fairly sure he didn’t want to know.

  “The National Enquirer,” Tess said.

  “Oh, no,” Nick said.

  “I thought about the Sun,” Tess went on, “because it had a lovely cover story about an alien having Elvis’s baby in a Stop-and-Go in Minnesota, but I decided that Melisande would rather know that the story about Roseanne Arnold having her thighs sucked is simply a vicious rumor. However, it is true that Liz—”

  “You sent my mother a five-year subscription to the National Enquirer?” Park said.

  “Well, Park, I had to,” Tess said. “Any fool knows Elvis was never in Minnesota. And I wanted your mother to have the best.”

  “Let me buy you breakfast,” Park said. “Did you say it’s delivered to the door?”

  “Every week,” Tess said. “And you know, I doubt she’ll be able to get it canceled. I understand it’s extremely difficult to duck the National Enquirer.”

  “Let me buy you lunch, too.”

  “Mr. Patterson asked me to be his secretary,” Christine said to Nick when the four of them arrived at the office. “Did you get fired?”

  “Did it ever occur to you I might have quit?” Nick asked, exasperated.

  “No,” Christine said.

  Nick gave up. “Yes, I got fired.”

  “But it was my fault,” Tess said.

  “So where are we working now?” Christine said to Nick.

  Nick blinked. “You’re coming with me?”

  “It took me a long time to break you in,” Christine said. “Also, Mr. Patterson is incompetent.” She stared at Park. “Nothing personal.”

  “It’s all right,” Park said. “I know he’s incompetent. He fired me, too.”

  Christine remained undisturbed by the news.

  “Look, maybe if I talked to him—” Tess began, and both Park and Nick said, “No.”

  At that moment Kent came out of his office, followed by Welch.

  “We’re just leaving,” Nick said to Kent. “We’ll be out as soon as we’ve—”

  “Now, let’s not be hasty,” Kent said.

  “Hasty?” Tess said, outraged, but Nick clamped a hand over her mouth before she could go on.

  “Good thinking,” Welch said to Nick. “This is why I want you for my lawyer. You scope out the situation and move on it.” He turned back to Kent. “I mean it. The only way your firm is handling this book is if Jamieson and your son are in charge. I don’t want you anywhere near