Candyfloss Read online

  ‘So OK, where’s all your stuff? The cherry curtains and the red velvet cushions and your special dressing table with the velvet stool?’

  ‘I’ve got all my clothes and books and art stuff here. The curtains are still at Mum’s and the other things have been put into storage. They wouldn’t fit in my bedroom here.’

  I scarcely fitted in my bedroom at Dad’s. It was not much bigger than a cupboard. There was just room for the bed and an old chest of drawers. Dad had started to paint it with some special silver paint, but it was a very small tin and it ran out before he could cover the last drawer. He’d propped a mirror on top of the chest and I’d laid out my brush-and-comb set and my china ballet dancer and my little cherry-red glass vase from my dressing table at home. They didn’t make the chest look much prettier.

  ‘Dad’s going to finish painting the chest when he can find some more silver paint,’ I said. ‘And he’s going to put up bookshelves and we’re going to get a new duvet – midnight-blue with silver stars – and I’m going to have those luminous stars stuck on the ceiling and one of those glitter balls like you get at dances – and fairy lights – and – and—’ I was running out of ideas.

  Rhiannon looked at me pityingly. ‘What sort of house is your mum going to have in Australia?’ she asked.

  ‘They’re just renting. It’s just some little flat,’ I said.

  I was lying. Mum had shown me a brochure showing beautiful modern flats with balconies and a sea view. They’d deliberately chosen a flat with three big bedrooms so that I could have the room of my dreams.

  ‘It couldn’t be littler than this flat,’ said Rhiannon. ‘You must be a bit nuts to want to stay here rather than go to Australia.’

  ‘I want to be with my dad,’ I said.

  ‘Do you love your dad much more than your mum then?’

  ‘No, I love them both the same. But Dad needs me more,’ I said.

  ‘Well, it still seems crazy, if you ask me,’ said Rhiannon, sitting down on the bed beside me. It creaked in protest. She peered down at it, shaking her head in disgust.

  ‘Well I’m not asking you,’ I said. ‘And anyway, you were the one who said I didn’t have to go. I thought you wanted me to stay so we could be best friends for ever. Don’t you want to be my best friend now, Rhiannon?’

  ‘Of course I do.’

  ‘We’re best friends for ever?’

  ‘Yes, like for ever and ever, dummy,’ said Rhiannon, sighing and shaking her long hair over her shoulders.

  She was saying all the right words but she was saying them in this silly American accent.

  9

  I HAD MORE bad dreams that night. I wished I’d kept my great big Kanga to cuddle in bed. I couldn’t believe I’d actually thrown away all my old teddies. All I had was the limp lopsided elephant and dog that Grandma had knitted me. I reached out of bed and tucked one on either side of my head. They didn’t look very fetching but they felt warm and soft, like a special scarf.

  I lay awake worrying that the bad dreams would come back the minute I closed my eyes. It helped that every time I wriggled round on my pillow a soft little knitted paw patted me.

  I fell asleep just as it was starting to get light – and then woke with a start. Something was ringing and ringing and ringing. The telephone! I stumbled out of bed and ran to answer it. Dad lumbered behind me in his pyjamas, huffing and puffing.

  ‘Hello?’ I said into the phone.

  ‘Oh, there you are, Floss! I’ve been ringing for ages!’ said Mum. ‘I thought you and Dad must have left for school already. What are you doing, having breakfast?’

  ‘Um – yes,’ I said, not wanting to tell Mum we’d slept in. She sounded so close, as if she was back in our house across town. ‘Oh Mum, have you come back?’ I said breathlessly.

  ‘What? Don’t be silly, darling, we’ve only just got here. My Lord, what a journey! Do you know, Tiger didn’t sleep a wink the entire flight. Steve and I were just about going demented.’

  ‘I can imagine,’ I said.

  ‘But never mind, we’re here now, and you should just see the apartment, Floss. I feel like a film star! We’ve got a fantastic sea view and even though it’s winter here it’s so bright and sunny. I just can’t believe how beautiful it all is. It would all be so perfect if only you were here too. Oh Floss, I miss you so!’

  ‘I miss you too, Mum. So so much,’ I whispered. I didn’t want to be tactless to Dad, but he patted my shoulder reassuringly to show me he understood.

  ‘I just know you’d love it here. If you could just see for yourself how lovely everything is you’d jump on a plane tomorrow, I know you would. Oh darling, are you all right? Is Dad looking after you OK?’

  ‘Yes, Mum, I’m fine, really.’

  ‘He’s giving you proper food, not endless fry-ups and cakes and chip butties?’

  ‘Yes, Mum,’ I said.

  I was still feeling queasy from last night’s chip butties. Rhiannon had been a little bit rude about them when Dad served them up for our tea. Very rude, actually. I’d felt so sorry for Dad I’d said quickly, ‘Well goody-goody, if you don’t like them that means there’s all the more for me.’ I’d ended up eating all my chip butties and Rhiannon’s.

  Dad boiled eggs and ran down to the corner shop and bought tomatoes and cucumber and lettuce to make Rhiannon her own special salad, but she only ate two mouthfuls, and she didn’t appreciate him turning them into a funny face for her.

  ‘Does your dad think I’m, like, a baby?’ she said.

  ‘Dad’s bought special salad stuff,’ I told Mum truthfully. ‘And he’s fixed up a new swing in the garden and I’ve had Rhiannon round to play.’

  ‘That’s good,’ said Mum. ‘Well, I don’t want to make you late for school, sweetheart. You take care now. I’m going to send you lots of photos of our flat and the beaches and the parks and the opera house. Once you see them I just know you’ll be dying to come and join us.’

  I swallowed. I didn’t know what to say. Most of me ached to be in Australia with Mum. But not without Dad.

  ‘Do you want to speak to Dad, Mum?’

  ‘Well, I’ll have a little word, yes please. Goodbye then, Floss. I love you so much.’

  ‘Goodbye, Mum. I love you too,’ I said.

  I leaned against Dad while Mum questioned him. She sounded like a nurse taking a full medical history.

  She asked:

  Is Floss looking mopey?

  Has she cried much?

  Is she sucking her thumb a lot?

  Is she as chatty as usual?

  Is she really eating properly?

  Is she having trouble getting to sleep?

  Did she wake up at all in the night?

  Is she having bad dreams?

  I started to expect her to ask how many times I’d been to the toilet.

  ‘She’s fine,’ Dad kept saying. ‘For pity’s sake, you’ve only been gone five minutes. She’s not likely to have gone into a nervous decline already. Now, we’d better be leaving for school. What? Of course she’s had breakfast,’ said Dad, crossing his fingers in front of my face. He said goodbye and then put the phone down.

  ‘Phew!’ he said. ‘Oh dear, Floss, let’s shove some breakfast down you quick. I’m not sure there’s time for egg and bacon—’

  ‘I don’t want breakfast, Dad, there’s not time. I’m going to be late.’

  ‘No, no, you’ve got to have something inside you. Cornflakes? I’ll shove my jeans on and sort something out while you run and get washed and dressed.’

  I hadn’t properly unpacked my pink pull-along case or my cardboard boxes of clothes. My school blouses were horribly screwed up and my skirt was creased so much it looked as if it was pleated.

  ‘Dad, can you iron these?’ I said.

  ‘What? Oh God, I’m not sure my old iron works any more. I don’t really bother with my stuff, I just drip them dry.’

  I had to go to school all crumpled. I couldn’t find my good white socks so I