Vicky Angel Read online

  “Poor Sam,” says Mr. Lorrimer. “It's a shame you have to hurt him. He's my special pal. A smashing lad.”

  “I know he is,” I say. “I keep meaning to make friends, but then something—” someone! “—makes me hateful to him.”

  But now I've shut my someone in the changing rooms and she can't dictate what I do. When we get to the playing field I pretend I've got a problem with my trainers. I let Mr. Lorrimer run ahead—and Sam catch up.

  “I'm sorry I was such a cow, Sam,” I say quickly, scared to look at him.

  There's a little pause. Maybe he's not speaking to me now.

  “Sam? Are you in a huff with me?”

  “Just … getting my … breath back,” he says. “No huff. No puff !”

  “You shouldn't be speaking to me. You were great to me in drama and I was horrible.”

  “No. Well. As if you'd want to be my partner!”

  “I would. I'll be your partner next time, Sam.”

  “Yeah, right,” he says, like he doesn't believe it. I'll show him.

  I'll show myself.

  I wait till the next drama lesson and then just before the start I go to the girls' cloakrooms and lock Vicky in one of the loos.

  “You can't keep me in here!” she screams.

  But I can, I can, I can.

  I whisper it all the way into the hall where we have drama.

  Miss Gilmore claps her hands. “Right, pair up, everyone.”

  There's a little rush. Madeleine asks if she can go in a threesome with Jenny and Vicky Two. Some of the boys stand in little gangs, not wanting to look too keen to pair with each other. I want Sam to stand on his own to make it easy but he's right in the middle of a little gang, mucking about as usual, taking no notice whatsoever of me.

  So I don't need to do it.

  I do.

  I can.

  I will.

  I walk right up to the gang.

  “What do you want, Jumpy Jade?” says Ritchie.

  So that's what they call me now. Because I start and twitch and mutter whenever Vicky's around. But she's not here now. I stand still as a rock.

  “Don't call her that, Ritchie,” Sam mutters.

  “He can call me anything he likes. What do I care?”

  “Ooh, hoity-toity,” says Liam. “So buzz off, eh? We're the boys' gang.”

  “Maybe she's after one of us,” says Ritchie, smirking.

  “I know, it's Fatboy,” says Liam, and they all snigger.

  “You got it,” I say. “Sam? Be my partner?”

  The boys look stunned. The whole hall is hushed. My heart is thudding. I daren't look Sam in the eye. This is his chance to get his own back. He can turn me down in front of everyone. I wouldn't blame him. I did exactly the same to him.

  “Right. OK. Sure. I'll be your partner, Jade,” Sam says.

  We walk away from the others, Sam and me together. And everyone's staring.

  “Wow!” Sam whispers.

  I giggle. It sounds a bit strange, almost like a sob. It's the first time I've laughed since …

  No. I'm not going to think about her. I'm going to have this whole drama lesson just being me.

  We have to do these slightly daft warm-up exercises. Sam messes around a bit, pulling silly faces, making me giggle again. We're told to hold hands for one exercise and I worry about being all hot and sweaty, but Sam takes hold of my hand calmly, his own palm a little damp but his grip pleasantly firm. This hand-holding triggers a few wolf whistles. Miss Gilmore sighs theatrically and then suggests something that makes everyone squeal. All the girls have to pretend to be boys and all the boys girls. Ritchie and Liam and Ryan mince round waggling their bums. Miss Gilmore sighs some more.

  “I didn't ask for an Alternative Miss World Show,” she says. “How many girls do you really see like that?”

  “Jenny's a pretty fair approximation, miss,” says Ryan, and some of the boys cheer.

  Jenny goes red. I do too. Last term they'd have chosen Vicky. I always hated it when they whistled at her (though she didn't ever seem to mind) but now I'm furious they've forgotten her so quickly. It's like she didn't ever exist.

  “I still exist!” she shrieks from way down the corridor.

  I can't listen or I'll be lost.

  “Use your imagination,” Miss Gilmore urges. “Think about it. Subtly.”

  “Here goes,” says Sam. His eyes narrow as if he's listening intently. His mouth tightens so that his lips nearly disappear. His face is suddenly so taut it almost looks thin. He bows his head and walks, drifting around as if he has no idea where he's going.

  It's totally eerie. I expected him to do a jolly pantomime dame act. So did the others. But he's doing it so seriously. He looks so sad.

  “It's Jade!”

  I didn't realize I look like that. Of course he's still Sam. He can't change his pink face and his big belly and his boys' clothes. But he's also managing to be me. I look so lost. Hardly there. As if I'm the ghost.

  “That's brilliant, Sam,” says Miss Gilmore. She sounds surprised. Then she looks at me. “You have a go, Jade. Get your own back. Be Sam!”

  I haven't joined in a single drama lesson since Vicky died. I didn't really do much when she was alive. Vicky always wanted us to muck about and act the fool. Miss Gilmore stops looking at me, ready to pick on someone else. The teachers obviously have a pact not to force me to do anything just yet.

  But maybe I want to have a go. I stop being Jade and step into Sam. I take one stride and I'm a fat boy, swaggering, legs well apart, sending myself up. I've got a big grin on my face because I laugh first so that everyone else laughs with me, not at me. Do anything for a laugh, that's me, fat boys can't risk being serious, so it's banana-skin time, whoops, act like I'm tripping, teeter totter, legs up at daft angles, that's it, laugh your silly heads off—though I suppose the last laugh's on me.

  Sam's staring at me as if I've undressed him. Everyone's staring.

  “How did you do that, Jade?” says Vicky Two. “You kind of became Sam.”

  “It's called acting,” says Miss Gilmore crisply.

  She doesn't say anything else to me during the drama class but when the bell goes she calls us both over.

  “Well, Jade and Sam, you seem to be a starry partnership.”

  We both go twinkle twinkle.

  “I don't suppose you fancy joining the Drama Club? You might find it fun. We're a friendly bunch. How about giving it a try?”

  Sam looks at me. I look at him.

  I want to. But I can't. Not now. Especially not now.

  But Mrs. Wainwright says life has to go on. I must learn to think for myself. I don't have to do what Vicky says now. Even though …

  “Let's, Jade,” says Sam.

  “OK!”

  “Great!” says Sam. When we're out in the corridor he gives me a little nudge. “You don't mind going with me?”

  “I want to go with you, idiot.”

  “You won't change your mind?”

  “No, it's settled,” I say, but of course it's not settled at all, not with Vicky.

  I walk into the girls' cloakroom, taking a deep breath, ready to face her. But Madeleine and Jenny and Vicky Two are there, discussing me.

  “She's the weirdest girl.”

  “I think she's off her head.”

  “Yes, but she can't really help it. Because of what happened to Vicky.”

  “I always thought she was a bit creepy before Vicky died.”

  “I liked her. But I didn't realize she can be really mean and moody—” Madeleine goes pink when she suddenly spots me.

  “Jade! Oh! I was … I was just talking about this girl down my road—”

  “No you weren't. You were all talking about me.”

  “That's it, Jade! You tell them where to get off. The nerve of them! Let rip!” Vicky says, bursting out of a cubicle.

  But I close my eyes until I've managed to will her back inside, lips sealed.

  I open my eyes an