Best Kept Secrets Read online

  “I’m more than willing.” I raised my chin and gave him a level look. “I want to do it.”

  “What?” He looked at me in disbelief. “Why?”

  “Because I love you, Josh.” I squeezed his big hand between my smaller ones. “And maybe if you do this and you see I don’t hate it, don’t find it wrong or repellent, you’ll understand that. And you’ll be able to forgive yourself…no matter how far we went together. Or how far we have to go to find out.”

  For a moment I saw his heart shining in his eyes. “Oh Cassie,” he murmured and stroked my cheek. “Are you sure?”

  “It’s the only way,” I said simply. “Do you want to do this with me or not?”

  He looked away from me, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah,” he said in a low, harsh voice. “I shouldn’t, damn it. But yes, I do.”

  “Good.” I could see that his guilt was making an ugly comeback, and I wanted to get started with our reenactment before it could completely incapacitate him. “Then let’s do it.”

  “What—now?”

  “Why not?” I said. “Go out of the tent and come in. I’ll pretend you’re the…that you’re in an altered state of mind, and we can take it from there.”

  He sighed. “All right, Cass. If you’re sure about this.”

  I cupped his cheek and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I’ve never been more sure about anything,” I whispered.

  I sent him out of the tent and then settled back on the sleeping bag, waiting. Would my plan work? Would I be able to get Josh to go far enough to reunite the two halves of his mind? And was there any chance of salvaging our relationship afterward?

  I was about to find out.

  Chapter Twelve

  Josh gave me five minutes and then came back into the tent. “All right. Here I am. Now what do you do?”

  “This.” Lying back, I pulled up my shirt, baring my breasts for him. I was ashamed to see that my nipples were already tight with desire, and from the look in Josh’s eyes, he didn’t miss that detail, either. But despite my embarrassment, there was nothing I could do but continue.

  I reached down and pulled up my short skirt all the way to my waist to reveal my naked pussy. I even spread my legs a tiny bit, to show how wet and swollen my little cunt was already becoming. It was important to be accurate, I told myself, as I watched Josh’s eyes widen while he took me in.

  Josh looked at me in disbelief, his gaze lingering on my hard nipples and the slippery pink of my inner cunt, just barely revealed by my swollen outer pussy lips. A hint of my clit was visible, and his eyes seemed to linger longest on that.

  “So…you just open your clothes and lay there and let me…let me what?” He crouched down beside me. “Do I…do I do this?” Hesitantly he reached down to cup one naked breast.

  I bit my lip and tried to stifle a moan. “Yes,” I whispered. “That was how it started, you…touching me there. And then you wanted to…to do more.”

  “Like this?” Keeping his eyes locked with mine, Josh lowered himself to the sleeping bag beside me and leaned down to lap hesitantly at one tight nipple.

  I moaned softly as sparks of pleasure flew through my entire body. “Yes,” I murmured. “But…more.”

  “Like this, then? Did I suck them?” Without waiting for my reply, Josh sucked one of my tight nipples into his mouth and laved it gently with his tongue.

  I cried out breathlessly and nodded. Though he had done this many times already, somehow it felt even better and more pleasurable this time—maybe because Josh was in his right mind and we both knew what he was doing. For whatever reason, I could feel my pussy getting wetter and hotter than ever before.

  “I probably sucked the other one too, didn’t I?” Josh growled, just before switching breasts. “God, I can’t believe I did this to you. Can’t believe you let me do it.” But he went back to sucking and when one of his large, warm hands stroked down from the curve of my breast and came to rest on my trembling belly, I didn’t try to push it off. Instead, I spread my legs for him.

  “Josh…” I whispered breathlessly. “If you’re asking if you—”

  “If I fingered your pussy?” he asked roughly, his hand sliding down to cup my mound. “Did I, Cass? Did I spread open your hot, little cunt lips and explore your sweet pussy?”

  As he spoke, he suited actions to words, his thick fingers sliding over my wet folds. I arched my back and gasped as he found my clit and circled it with one fingertip, teasing it mercilessly.

  I nodded. “Yes…you…you did,” I admitted, trying not to moan at the illicit pleasure of his fingers exploring my cunt. “You…you did that a lot. I remember now.”

  “And did I go inside you too? Did I slide my fingers into you?” he demanded, still circling my clit.

  I bit my lip. “I don’t know. Do it, Josh. I need to feel you touching me there—inside—to be sure.”

  “All right.” Two long, thick fingers breached my entrance, and he began to pump slowly into me. “Does this feel familiar?” he growled, looking into my eyes. “Did I do this? Did I finger-fuck you, Cassandra?”

  “Yes, Josh, yes!” I moaned, unable to help myself now. God, it felt so good, so right somehow to have Josh’s fingers pistoning in and out of me, filling my cunt and making me need to come. The only thing that could feel more right would be…

  “My tongue,” Josh finished my thought without knowing it. He was looking into my eyes as he withdrew his fingers. “I remember that from my dreams. Did I go down on you, Cassandra? Did I put my tongue inside you too?”

  My cheeks heated with a blush. “Josh, if you don’t want to…to try that…”

  “No, I need to know it all. Besides,” he added in a low voice, “I want to, Cass. God help me, but I want to taste your sweet little pussy.”

  I felt my breath catch in my throat, but before I could answer he was between my legs, his broad shoulders splitting my thighs wide as he bent to taste me. I moaned softly in mingled pleasure and trepidation as his hot, wet tongue dragged over my slick petals in a long, leisurely lick. As the Beast, he had gone down on me with a single-minded ferocity that was pleasurable but a little frightening. But now that he was in his right mind, Josh seemed to want to take his time, to linger and enjoy the act of spreading and tasting my naked cunt.

  By the time he lifted my hips and thrust his tongue deep inside me, I was past caring about anything else. I gripped his hair tightly and pressed my pussy to his mouth, bucking shamelessly as I rode his tongue toward orgasm. Josh seemed to know exactly what to do—even though he had no conscious memory of going down on me, he obviously had a primal, unconscious knowledge of how to make me come.

  And come I did—all over his face. Arching my back and bucking my hips, I cried my pleasure as he lapped at me eagerly. God, it felt so good—so right. If only I could convince Josh of the rightness as well…

  Josh rode out my orgasm, as he always did, lapping eagerly to catch the fresh wetness as my pussy got even hotter. Then he pulled back and looked at me.

  “I take it you remember having my tongue in you?” he rasped.

  “Yes,” I whispered, stroking his hair. “Yes, Josh, that was very…very familiar.”

  He frowned at me. “I put my cock in you too.”

  My heart skipped a beat at his blatant words. Biting my lip, I nodded. There was no use denying it—he’d come back to himself with his cock inside me. And, I realized, I wanted him there again. No, needed him there again. “Yes, Josh,” I murmured. “Yes, you put your cock inside me.”

  He sighed. “The only question is how much. You said I wasn’t all the way in you,” he pointed out. Lifting my chin, he looked in my eyes. “How deep did I go, Cassandra? Please, can’t you just tell me?”

  “I’m sorry, Josh.” I shook my head. “I really don’t know…I won’t know until you…”

  “Until I do it again.”

  “And besides, even if I remembered well enough to put it into words, I still couldn’t tel