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  But my struggles were in vain and worse, they seemed to stimulate Josh’s body even further. His thickness throbbed deep inside me, and a new worry surfaced in my mind—what if I made him come? What if the wet friction of my pussy sliding over his cock as I tried to get him out of me actually brought on his orgasm? I was still for a moment. But then I realized if I didn’t struggle, I would never be free of him and he would wake up inside me and know what had happened. What else could I do?

  I twisted my hips once more and then I felt it—the tip of his shaft kissed bottom inside my cunt channel and his broad cockhead pressed firmly against the mouth of my womb. Well, that was it—I was no longer a virgin and I had done it myself. In addition, I felt Josh’s cock growing bigger within me, and I was almost certain he was going to orgasm, no doubt bathing my unprotected pussy in hot, forbidden cum in the process.

  “Cassandra? What the hell is this? What…what are we doing?”

  With dismay, I turned to see that the moment I had been dreading was here—Josh was himself again. His swift motion as he sat up made his shaft move inside me, and we both groaned at the slick friction. His thick shaft throbbed, and I barely had time to feel one hot, hard spurt of cum deep in my pussy before he was yanking his cock out of me, pulling away in a frenzy to be free of our forbidden embrace.

  “My God,” he gasped as his cock continued to spurt. Thick jets of cum decorated his flat belly, and I thought I could feel some of it leaking from my newly empty pussy as well.

  “Josh,” I whispered, putting out a hand to him. “Josh, please…”

  “No, don’t touch me.” He scooted away from me quickly. “Just tell me…tell me how we got into that position. How…what were we doing?”

  “What do you think, Josh?” I snapped, angry and hurt at the way he had pulled away from me. “What did it look like we were doing?”

  “It looked like I was fucking you,” he said grimly. “But why would I…I would never…would I?”

  Suddenly all my anger leaked away, and my shoulders slumped in defeat. I turned to face him, not bothering to pull down my blouse or skirt, not caring if he saw me naked. “Yes, Josh,” I said heavily. “You would.”

  “What do you mean? What are you talking about?” The horrified, guilty look on his face nearly broke my heart.

  “You’ve been doing this—well, not this exactly—but things like it for the past two weeks.”

  “The past two weeks?” His eyes widened in disbelief. “But how? Why? You mean I’ve been fucking you for the past two weeks, and you never said anything? Never did anything?”

  “What could I do?” I demanded. “You weren’t in your right mind, and you’re stronger than me. Besides, you never really, uh, fucked me.”

  “Bullshit.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re saying I woke up with my cock buried to the hilt in your pussy, coming inside you, and I didn’t fuck you? I don’t think so, Cassandra.”

  “You didn’t really put it all the way inside.” I could feel my cheeks heating with a blush. That was true, in a way—I was the one who had impaled myself on him—at least for the last few inches. “And, well, I’m not completely sure you came in me,” I continued. “I don’t think you did, honestly.” That was a lie, but one I hoped would make him feel better. Besides, he had only come in me a little bit—it hardly counted, I told myself.

  But nothing, it seemed, could make Josh feel better. He pulled on a pair of pants and paced up and down the camp, nearly wearing a rut in the grass as he made me explain exactly what was going on and how it had all started. I tried to make the facts easier to bear, tried to tell him that he hadn’t raped me or forced me—but I could tell by the look in his deep-blue eyes that each new detail made him hate himself more.

  “Josh,” I said at last, when I was all talked out. “Please don’t be upset. We have to keep this in perspective. It’s the plant’s fault.”

  “Right,” he said savagely. “I should just blame everything I did to you on the damn plant and not feel the least bit bad that I raped you.”

  “I told you,” I said wearily. “It wasn’t rape.”

  “Oh?” He rounded on me, eyes flashing. “I forced you down on the ground on your hands and knees and shoved my cock inside you, and you’re saying it was consensual?”

  I bit my lip. “Not…completely, but it wasn’t completely unwanted either. Look, Josh, I have conflicted feelings about this too. A lot of guilt…a lot of shame. It’s not easy for me to admit that I…”

  “That you what?” he demanded.

  “That I didn’t hate it, okay?” I could feel my cheeks burning, but I forced myself to continue. “That I didn’t fight it or try harder to get away.”

  Josh groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Oh God, I can’t believe this. I should have known—should have guessed. All those weird dreams I kept having about us…doing things we shouldn’t be doing. I should have known they were more than dreams.”

  “But how could you know?” I said reasonably. “You were in an altered state of consciousness.”

  “There were clues if I cared to see them.” He shook his head. “The way you’ve been dressing—not wearing any bra and panties. That was because I ripped up the ones you had, wasn’t it?”

  I hung my head. “Yes,” I admitted. “I don’t have so many I could let you tear them all up. So I started dressing in a way that…that would make it easier to give you what you wanted. What you needed.”

  “Damn it, Cassandra,” he exploded. “I don’t need to fuck you. You should have told me what was going on—not made it easier for me to get to you!”

  “You didn’t fuck me!” I shouted back. “You only put it…put yourself in me a little and it was only once.” I lowered my voice. “Please, Josh, can’t we just put this behind us? I don’t care what happened when you weren’t yourself—I still love you. And for what it’s worth, I forgive you.”

  “I tell you what, Cass,” he said in a low, angry voice. “It’s not worth a hell of a lot.” He looked down. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me this earlier.”

  “Because I kept thinking the effects of the plant were temporary—that they would wear off. And because I didn’t want you to blame yourself like you’re doing now. I didn’t…didn’t want to lose you over something unimportant.”

  “Unimportant?” He stared at me in disbelief. “Unimportant?”

  “Yes,” I said, lifting my chin. “Unimportant. It doesn’t matter what we did together, Josh—what matters is that we still love each other. That we stay together.”

  “I don’t know if I can promise that right now,” he said in a low voice.

  I felt numb all over. “What…what do you mean?”

  “I mean, how can we stay together, Cassandra? How? When I might black out at any time and molest you or hurt you again?”

  “I don’t care about any of that,” I said wildly. “Can’t you hear me, Josh? I love you. Please, can’t you tell me you love me too?”

  “I’m sorry, Cass. I don’t…don’t think I can right now.”

  “What?” Hot tears stung my eyes. “What are you saying? That you don’t love me anymore?”

  “No.” Josh’s face was haggard, and he looked close to tears himself. “I’m saying I love you too much. And in the completely wrong way. I can’t…I can’t talk about this anymore. I have to go.”

  And before I could say another word, he turned and headed into the jungle, leaving me to cry alone.

  Chapter Ten

  I wandered into the jungle myself feeling miserable and alone. The tears drying on my cheeks were mute testimony to how wretched I felt, but there was no one to comfort me, no one to hold me close and say he loved me and would always care for me. Josh was gone, and he had taken my heart with him.

  Somehow my feet took me down a familiar trail, and I found myself standing in front of the truth plant—the place where all of this had begun. I looked at the thing with a dull, hot hatred burning in my heart. It