Best Kept Secrets Read online

  “But nothing, Cassie.” He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. “I worry about you. Come on out and have breakfast, okay?”

  “Okay.” I sighed and stretched. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Great.” He grinned. “Don’t let my fabulous eggs get cold.”

  Since I knew he was just rehydrating them from a mix, I made a face. “Wouldn’t want that, would we?”

  “Nope.” Still grinning, Josh scooted out the tent flap and went back to his cooking.

  I took a quick ion shower with my portable kit—not as nice as water, but I wasn’t up to braving the frigid stream that morning—and then looked around for something to wear. I started to put on a bra, blouse, and long pants…and then stopped. What if the Beast came out to play again? I had nearly lost my last bra to him the night before, and I was running low on panties too. If I wanted to have anything decent left to wear when we got back to Earth, I needed to think about conserving my resources.

  Well, isn’t that a nice, scientific way to say you’re planning to go around with no bra and panties on under your clothes? remarked my snarky little inner voice.

  “Shut up,” I muttered fiercely. “What else am I supposed to do? I have to be ready in case…” In case the Beast took over Josh again. In case the truth plant’s toxin still wasn’t all the way out of his system. It was awful but true.

  Sighing, I decided I had probably better not wear the long pants I’d picked out. I needed clothes with quick, easy access so I could give my Josh what he needed right away and not lose any more outfits to the Beast’s lust.

  Reluctantly, I picked out a white, Henley-type top with a scoop neck. It was stretchy and could be pulled up or down easily to bare my breasts. Unfortunately, it also clung to them, outlining their full curves and showing the pink points of my nipples clearly through the thin fabric. Ever since my new development, I had never gone without a bra. Now I felt naked without one, but there was no helping the situation—I had to be practical and do what was best even if it felt uncomfortable.

  Finding the right skirt to go with my blouse was even worse. I wanted something short, with easy access to my pussy without being too obvious about it. Finally I chose a tight cotton mini with a slit up the side. In a pinch, I could shift the skirt around so the slit was in the front, baring myself quickly to Josh.

  Then satisfied that I was ready for the Beast’s next appearance, I stepped out of the tent and went to breakfast.

  I saw Josh giving me strange looks as we ate our eggs and drank instant coffee, and I knew he was probably wondering about the way I was dressed. Earlier he had complained that my tops were too tight and my skirts were too short—surely the outfit I had put on today exemplified that. I was sorry if it bothered him, but what else could I do? Even though he didn’t know it, I was dressed this way for his benefit.

  We ate in silence but finally, near the end of the meal, he cleared his throat. “Uh, Cassandra?”

  Uh-oh, when he used the long version of my first name I knew something serious was coming.

  “Yes?” I looked up at him, trying to smile.

  “I, uh, can’t help but notice you’re not…” He flickered his gaze from my face to my full breasts, clearly outlined by the tight white top. “You don’t seem to be wearing a bra.”

  “I only brought two because I thought this would be a short mission,” I said. “One of them got, uh, damaged beyond repair and the other one is…is lost. Sorry.”

  “Oh. Okay.” He looked down at his plate again as though thinking what to say. “Could you maybe…not wear such tight shirts then?” he asked at last.

  Feeling defensive, I frowned. “I can’t help that, Josh. According to you all my shirts are tight. Besides, it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”

  He winced, and I felt instantly bad for being so snappish. After all, the conscious part of his mind had no idea of what was going on between us.

  “I’m sorry,” I said in a more subdued tone. “I know my body, um, bothers you. But I don’t have many options right now, clothing-wise.” That, at least, was true.

  “Okay.” He put down his plate and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry too. It’s just…I shouldn’t be looking at you this way. And some of the dreams I’ve been having…”

  “What dreams?” I said eagerly. Could it be that his subconscious was trying to tell him what we’d been doing while the Beast was out?

  But Josh only shook his head. “They’re just…they’re not dreams I ought to be having about you, of all people. That’s all.”

  “I’m sorry, Josh,” I said again, helplessly. “I know the way I look now is different, and it makes it hard on you.” Then I had an idea. “Maybe…maybe if you can get used to it, it won’t bother you so much.”

  He frowned warily. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, go ahead and stare if you want.” Though it made me blush, I sat up straight and pushed out my chest. My full breasts swayed slightly with the motion, and I could feel my nipples going instantly erect under the thin, stretchy material of my top.

  “God, Cass…” Josh groaned softly. But his gaze was fixed on my breasts, as though he couldn’t look away.

  “Good.” Not sure what I was doing, I put down my plate and stood, keeping my chest in his line of sight. “See, it’s not so bad.”

  “I guess not.” Josh still sounded doubtful.

  “Of course not.” Slowly, I approached him. He was sitting in a low camp chair, which meant when I got right up to him, his face was just about at the level of my chest. I put my breasts right in front of his eyes, and my nipples tightened even more under his intense scrutiny. “Do you like them, Josh?” I asked softly. “Do you like my breasts?”

  “I can’t help it,” he said hoarsely. “God help me, Cass, I try but I can’t.”

  “It’s all right.” I still wasn’t sure what I was doing or why I was doing it, but it felt right. Maybe it was the lingering effects of the small dose of truth serum I had received that were making me bold. Or maybe I just remembered the rough yet gentle way he’d pinched and sucked my nipples the night before and I missed it. For whatever reason, I reached down to take his hands, which were lying limply on his thighs. Then I brought them up to cup my breasts through the thin white shirt, nestling them firmly in his palms.

  For a long, breathless moment we stayed like that. I could feel the warmth of Josh’s hands though my blouse, the slight roughness of his palms against my sensitive nipples. It felt so good it made me wish I’d had the nerve to push up my blouse and lay my naked breasts in his hands instead of just letting him cup me through the shirt.

  Acting on the impulse before I thought about it, I tugged the scoop neck of my blouse down, sliding it over my breasts until they were bare in Josh’s palms. My nipples were so hard they hurt, and I longed to feel him touch them and suck them again.

  “It’s okay,” I said softly, moving his hands with mine so that my tight buds were brushing against his fingertips. “It’s okay if you want to look at me, Josh. If you want to touch me…”

  Slowly, as though in a dream, he began to stroke and pinch my nipples. It felt so good I had to bite my lower lip to keep from moaning. I still wasn’t sure why I was doing this, only that it felt incredibly and incontrovertibly right somehow. Right in a way I couldn’t explain or define but right nonetheless.

  I held perfectly still, offering no resistance as Josh caressed my naked breasts. In a way, it was like he was touching them for the first time. Because despite the fact that he’d been licking and sucking my nipples and pussy for the past two days, he didn’t remember any of it.

  Looking down, I met his gaze, which was half-lidded with obvious desire. “Well?” I said softly.

  Something moved in Josh’s eyes—a fierce, inhuman lust I recognized as the Beast. But as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

  “What the hell, Cassandra?” He pulled his hands away from my breasts as though he’d been burned.