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  Kat sighed. “I guess I might as well tell you or you’ll never leave me alone.”

  “I think you need to tell us,” Deep said, his voice unexpectedly gentle. “So no, we won’t leave you alone until you do.”

  “Fine.” She squeezed the pillow harder and looked down at the bed. “It’s not a big deal really. Just that I let…let a guy try that once, back there, and it really hurt.”

  “And?” Deep’s voice said he knew there was more to it than that.

  Damn him. Kat flashed him an unfriendly look and he stared back, one black eyebrow raised. “And he was really into the moment and he didn’t…” She swallowed hard, not wanting to remember. “He didn’t stop when I asked him to. It just…wasn’t a very good experience, okay?”

  “He hurt you?” Lock’s voice was raw—filled with the pain Kat didn’t want to express.

  “Yes,” she said tightly. “And ever since then I’m not…I don’t really want to go there. Or let anyone else go there, if you know what I mean.”

  “We know,” Deep murmured.

  “I don’t understand,” Lock said, shaking his head. “I thought…during our joining to find Sophia, when you let us all the way into your memories…I don’t see how you could have concealed such a source of pain, my lady.”

  “She was able to conceal it from us because she’s been concealing it from herself,” Deep rumbled. “Isn’t that right, Kat?”

  Kat gave a short nod. “It’s not a happy memory, okay?”

  “Of course not.” Lock stroked her shoulder soothingly.

  “Perhaps you’d feel better if the bastard who hurt you was brought to justice,” Deep growled.

  Kat sighed. “No, I wouldn’t. He wasn’t a bad guy—it was just that we were both kind of drunk. He apologized afterwards.” Not that I could ever stand to date him again. Not after that, she thought with a shiver, remembering the painful experience of being pinned to the bed and invaded.

  She’d cried and begged but Devon had never seemed to hear her. Or if he had, he hadn’t wanted to stop. Afterwards, seeing her swollen eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, he appeared to feel terrible about what he’d done. But Kat could never really trust him after that. They broke up a few days later and she’d never seen him again. And tried never to think of him. Until tonight…

  We would never hurt you that way, she heard Lock send through their mental link.

  Never, Deep echoed. He slid an arm around her shoulders. Come here. If you have to cry, Lock and I want to hold you.

  She sniffed and realized that hot tears were rolling down her cheeks. Four muscular arms surrounded her and drew her down on the bed. Kat knew she was safe, sheltered by their love for her. It flowed over and around her, comforting, soothing, whispering that she was cared for, needed, loved. Telling her that she would never be hurt in such a way again.

  For a long time Kat let herself drift. Cradled between Deep and Lock she closed her eyes and tried to let go of the past. What Devon had done was painful and humiliating but it was over. It was time to let it go.

  Finally she felt strong enough to speak. I’m sorry, she whispered at last, through their link. I didn’t realize until now how much it upset me. I spent so many years trying to forget.

  Of course you did—anyone would try to forget a memory so painful, Lock assured her.

  Well, maybe forgetting isn’t the answer. Sniffing, Kat wiped her eyes and sat up. “Maybe it’s time I got over it.”

  “And how do you propose to do that?” Deep asked, as he and Lock sat up as well.

  “By…by trying it again.” Kat took a deep breath. “By letting the two of you make love to me there…that way. The way you want to.”

  “We don’t want to do anything that will hurt you, my lady,” Lock protested, stroking her hair.

  “Lock’s right. We’re perfectly happy to make love to you in our regular way for the rest of our lives,” Deep said.

  Kat lifted her chin. “But that won’t help us find Lauren, will it?”

  “Kat, look at me.” Deep tilted her chin so that they were eye to eye. His coal black eyes were burning. “If we do this,” he murmured, “It should be for you—not anyone else. We can try and find Lauren if you want, but the main focus should be on healing your wounds.”

  Kat tried to laugh. “You mean sexual healing?”

  “In a manner of speaking.” Deep nodded.

  “It is possible, you know. Especially when three people are as closely connected as we are,” Lock said, kissing her shoulder. “We just need to take things very slowly.”

  “We need to show you that it can be pleasurable to be penetrated here,” Deep murmured, his large hand caressing her buttocks through the crimson robe. “That you can enjoy it instead of fearing it.”

  Kat bit her lip. “You…you really think that’s possible?”

  Deep nodded and Lock said, “Yes, my lady. Very possible.”

  “But it has to be about you,” Deep said, looking into her eyes again. “No one else, sweetheart. And you have to be sure…very sure you want to do it.”

  Kat’s heart was pounding a mile a minute but she knew she wanted this. After all the years that had passed since her experience with Devon, she wanted to finally get over the pain—to exorcise the bad and hurtful memory. And, she had to admit, she wanted to give her men something they’d been craving. To open herself to them and let them in completely in a way she hadn’t before.

  No more secrets, she whispered to both of them through their link. No more lies. I want the three of us to be one. I want to do this.

  Lying through the mental link was next to impossible and she could feel Deep and Lock registering her sincerity. They know I mean it, that I really want this, she thought. No matter how much it scares me.

  Yes, we know, Deep assured her softly. But there’s no need to be frightened, sweetheart. Just relax and let Lock and I give you pleasure.

  Though Kat was more than willing to try it, she still didn’t see how she could get pleasure from being filled there.

  Because we won’t be filling you—not to start with, Lock told her soothingly.

  You’re not? Then what—? Before she could finish asking the question, the light twin answered it by licking a long, slow trail from her ankle to her knee.

  Take off your robe, little Kat, Deep murmured in her head. Take off your robe and allow Lock to taste you.

  You mean to taste me…there? Kat looked at them uncertainly.

  Of course, my lady. Lock smiled up at her, his warm brown eyes filled with love and lust. We need to put you at your ease by giving you pleasure before we attempt penetration. What better way than to tease open your sweet little rosebud with my tongue?

  I don’t know… Kat crossed her legs uneasily.

  What’s wrong? Deep asked, stroking her cheek. You have no problem with allowing us to taste your pussy. Why should this be any different?

  Kat felt her cheeks getting hot. Because it seems…I don’t know…dirty.

  My lady, we just finished bathing, Lock reminded her gently. You are not dirty. You’re warm and sweet and soft and I want very much to taste you.

  Really? Kat turned to look at him. Even there?

  Especially there, Deep assured her. And to make it easier, I’ll hold you while Lock goes down on you. You know I won’t let you come to any harm, don’t you? I would die first.

  As would I, Lock murmured, kissing her knee gently. Please, my lady. Open yourself for me. I want so much to taste you.

  The outpouring of love, lust, and tenderness from the two of them was so strong it almost threatened to drown her—but in a good way. All right, Kat whispered. Sitting up, she shrugged out of the robe and threw it to the far side of the bed. As long as we take it slowly. And as long as we use our energy to try and find Lauren.

  Agreed, Deep murmured and she felt Lock’s acceptance as well.

  All right then. Kat took a deep breath and looked at both of them. Let’s get started.

  Ver