Purity Read online

  “I will not. Why should I believe you?” K demanded.

  “Aside from the two seizures you’ve already had which were only stopped by skin-to-skin contact with me?”

  “You gave me medicine the first time,” K pointed out stubbornly. “I felt the needle pierce my flesh.”

  “The first time but not the second time. It wasn’t the medicine that helped you, K, it was this.” He pointed at his broad chest. “Me. And while I’ve never had a big enough ego to think I’m God’s gift to women, you apparently Imprinted on me because I was the first person to touch you after your damn suit came off. So, lucky for you, I am your personal wonder drug. Now come here before you start shaking and seizing again.”

  “That isn’t going to happen.” Except she could already feel her muscles quivering as the shivering pain started again. K ignored it and continued to glare at her captor. “If you think you can make me want to help you by using some kind of filthy erotic Erian trick on me, you’re wrong.”

  Boone scrubbed one hand down his face. It made a whispery sound that seemed loud in the dim room as his palm passed over the dark stubble on his jaw. “Let’s get something straight right now, darlin’. I am not now and never will be interested in molesting you. I know how it looks with you naked and me in just my shorts but I swear to you I haven’t been taking advantage of you.”

  K frowned, confused. “Taking advantage?”

  “Touching you someplace I shouldn’t,” he clarified and then frowned. “You know, your breasts? Your—”

  “Oh!” K’s hand flew to her mouth and to her shame and horror, she felt her cheeks getting hot with embarrassment. “You’re talking about…about procreating sexually? With me?”

  “Right, exactly.” He looked uncomfortable. “The point is, I haven’t been doing anything like that. And you have my word as a gentleman I never will.”

  “I can’t believe…it never even crossed my mind.” She had only a vague idea of what was involved in sexual procreation—some kind of penetration she was sure. But just the idea of him doing that to her made her skin hot and cold all over and she felt suddenly even more naked. Dropping her defensive posture she wrapped her arms around her bare chest and drew her knees up to her chin.

  Boone was staring at her worriedly. “Great, now I’ve freaked her out even more,” K heard him mutter to himself. “Look, darlin’, if it makes you feel any better, this isn’t forever. According to Loki you need to be touched a lot right now because you’re in the infant stage. Once you reach the next level—which should be fairly soon since you’re already technically grown—you won’t need to be held as often.”

  “So I can look forward to you contaminating me ten times a day instead of twelve? I don’t think so.” She glared up at him fiercely. “Don’t come near me again. If you do, I’ll kill you. I don’t need your hands on me and I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

  He frowned. “We’ll see how you feel in another half hour or so when your body starts craving a touch fix.”

  “You’re lying again. Every time you open your mouth you lie.” K held herself more tightly, trying to stop the shivering. “I don’t even believe you really have a sister in the pshalite mines.”

  Boone snorted. “Oh right. I made it all up to have an excuse to capture my very own pet Paladin. Because I love going to bed with a prickly bitch who doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “I don’t know what your reasons are and I don’t care. Just stay away from me.”

  “Fine. Have it your way.” Boone settled back against the headboard of the sleep pallet and crossed his arms over his chest. “We’ll wait it out. But the minute you start seizing I’m coming to get you.”

  “And then I’ll kill you.” But it was an empty threat and K knew it. Already she could feel her body shaking and her vision was blurring. Her stomach clenched like a slick fist and the big muscles of her thighs were knotting up painfully.

  Despite her physical symptoms she didn’t want to believe it. Surely he couldn’t be right! Surely she couldn’t need him to touch her. K bit the inside of her cheek, trying to breathe past the pain, to control it. I fear nothing, I feel nothing. I fear nothing, I feel nothing.

  The minutes passed, feeling like hours. Boone watched her struggle silently, not going to her though his blue-green eyes were troubled. K clenched her hands into fists and matched his stare with her own. She would triumph over this pain and if she did not, well, at least she could die fighting it. Would Purity still accept her, as contaminated as she was? K didn’t know but as the agony grew even greater, she thought she was about to find out…

  “That’s it. I can’t watch this anymore.” Boone was suddenly off the sleep pallet and towering over her. K tried to scramble away from him but she couldn’t move—her muscles were all locked into horribly painful knots. “C’mon, darlin’.” He scooped her up as though she was a child and took her back to the pallet where he cradled her in his lap and pressed her against his chest. At once her muscles unlocked and she went limp.

  “No.” K didn’t like the way her voice sounded. It was more of a weary moan than a fierce battle cry.

  “Be quiet.” He sounded both irritated and concerned. “Lights out,” he said and the room was plunged into darkness. “Just be quiet and breathe,” he told K sternly.

  K had no choice in the matter. She lay against his broad chest and felt completely surrounded by him. His heartbeat and the low rumble of his voice filled her ears and his scent filled her nose. His arms, wrapped around her like warm, flexible steel. No escape. He’s everywhere—there’s no way I can get away from him…

  “Why are you doing this to me?” she heard herself whisper. “Why can’t you just give me back my suit or let me die?”

  “Because I took an oath to preserve life.”

  “And because you think I’ll help you.”

  “I know you will—you want your damn suit back too much not to. But I hope in time you’ll see that there are other options besides suicide even if you have been ‘contaminated.’”

  “Death is the only honorable choice.” K didn’t like the slight hesitation she heard in her own voice. What she was saying was true. She was Impure now—she should die. But somehow it was harder to resign herself to death now than it had been earlier. Why was that? K didn’t have an answer.

  Boone shifted in the darkness. “I don’t think you’ll be quite so ready to kick the bucket once some of those damn emo-dampers have been flushed out of your system. It’s easy to face your own death if you’re numb. We’ll see how you do once you can feel again.”

  “I don’t want to feel,” K protested but what she wanted didn’t seem to matter. Even now there was a lump in her throat for some reason. She swallowed it down with difficulty.

  “Of course not. Feeling hurts. And while you’re pretty used to physical pain, I bet you’ve never dealt with the emotional kind, am I right?”

  “I don’t have too. I have surrendered my emotions to Purity.” But her voice wavered as she spoke. What if he was right? What if it wasn’t the holy nothingness of Purity filling her that had muted her emotions for so many years? What if her suit had been giving her medicine to rid her of her feelings?

  Her thoughts raced as she lay silently in his arms. What if she really did have Erian DNA? Did it make her weak like the natives of Eros? Would she begin to crave Boone’s touch, to act like a depraved, disgusting Erian? How had her life gotten so off track so quickly? I am a trained warrior. A fourth level Paladin. I fear nothing. I feel nothing. Then why did she feel so helpless right now? What good was her strength or her training doing her? None.

  “You’re awfully quiet, K. Are you plotting another way to kill yourself?” He sounded half serious, half amused.

  “No. I… Do you like having emotions?” she blurted.

  “Not always. Like I said, feeling can hurt. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be numb.”

  “Do you…have emotions toward me?” She didn’t