Purity Read online

  The stories he told her only made her realize how completely different their two peoples were. He had been born to parents, not pulled from an artificial womb. He had lived with a small family unit that showed emotion and shared affection freely, not raised by soulless mechanoids in a barracks with others he could not touch. The differences in their past made K understand that her way of life was just as strange to him as his was strange to her. But she sometimes wondered how anyone could have a more outlandish existence than the one she was currently experiencing.

  There was no suit to jab her awake in the morning or drug her to sleep at night, no squad to lead, no superiors to report to, and no prisoners to collect and take to the mines. There was nothing day in and day out, but Boone, the warm prison of his arms, and his soft, drawling voice in her ear. Sometimes it seemed like a dream but other times K had to face the fact that this was her new reality—and she wasn’t finding it nearly as horrible or horrifying as she ought to.

  It was on the third or fourth day when she woke up that K smelled something strange. She briefly remembered smelling it the night before as she was drifting to sleep in Boone’s arms but it was especially strong when she opened her eyes.

  “What is that?” She shrugged off Boone’s heavy bicep and sat up, turning her head from side to side and searching for the source of the scent. She felt restless and still tired—she hadn’t slept well the night before. Her scalp had been itching for some reason and she hadn’t been able to get comfortable. “What is it?” she said again.

  “What’s what, darlin’?” Boone asked groggily. He wasn’t much of a “morning person” as he called it and K had to admit that it was nice most mornings to lie beside him and take her time stretching and yawning before getting off of the sleeping platform. She had never experienced a leisurely waking up period before since her suit had always jabbed her awake. Now she found she rather liked the drowsy drift from sleep to wakefulness. But today the strange scent wouldn’t let her sleep in.

  “That smell.” K looked around, still sniffing. “Musky…slightly sour. Very unpleasant.”

  “Oh yeah?” Boone said neutrally, sitting up in bed. He was suddenly looking much more awake.

  “Yes, and I really don’t—Purity, it’s coming from me.” K lifted her arm, took another whiff and frowned. “I stink.”

  “Well…” Boone looked like he wanted to laugh but didn’t quite dare. “I wouldn’t say you stink exactly but you are a little ripe. That’s kind of what happens over time if you don’t take a shower, darlin’.”

  “This is because I refused to endure a shower? Is it some kind of punishment?” K demanded.

  Boone held up both his hands in a “don’t shoot” gesture. “Not one I’m inflicting on you.”

  “My scalp is itchy too.”

  “Well, you probably need to wash your hair.” Boone frowned. “That’s gonna be a job and a half since it’s so long. How do you usually manage it?”

  K frowned. “I don’t—my suit does.”

  A look of understanding broke over his face. “Your suit cleaned you? All this time, since you were nine cycles old?”

  “Of course. I didn’t even think of it before, it’s been so long. But now that you’ve taken it away, I suppose I’ll have to endure a shower.” She took a deep breath, trying to brace herself. “All right. Let’s get it over with.”

  Boone shook his head. “Don’t know what kind of showers you guys have on Athena but I don’t think you’re going to find it’s all that bad. Hang on, though, while I get some things together.”

  He left his quarters and when he returned he was holding four small, round spheres cupped carefully in his big palm.

  “What are those?” K eyed them mistrustfully.

  “Hair care stuff—got it from Mom. Loki actually has a better selection but I wasn’t about to ask him. Here.” He handed her the spheres. “Mom says use the two blue ones on your hair first—they’re shampoo. Then use the purple ones to make it soft and shiny.”

  K frowned at the small round balls in her hands. “Are they some kind of nano-bots? How can they accomplish all that?”

  Boone laughed as though a shower was no big deal. “No, darlin’—it’s the liquid inside that does the work. Just pop them over your head and then lather, rinse, repeat.”

  “What?” K frowned at him—he wasn’t making any sense. Also, fear she didn’t want to feel was beginning to crawl down her throat. It’s all right, she tried to tell herself. Surely it can’t be as bad as you remember. At least you don’t have non-con bracelets on this time. Besides, Boone endures it every day and he’s no worse for the wear. Well, that was true at least. She swallowed hard. “Let’s go.”

  “You know where the fresher is.” But Boone came with her anyway. They crowded into the small room together and he nodded at the dreaded stall. “Just step in there and the water will come down.”

  “Yes, of course,” K heard herself say. She shrugged out of his shirt—a thin synthi-cotton one that had skinny shoulder straps and left most of her back bare for maximum skin contact while they slept—and stood naked, trying to calm herself. She didn’t care if Boone saw her—he saw her all the time and anyway, there was nothing to see. Her body was still warrior fit, if slightly more sensitive in some areas than it had been before. K didn’t know the reason for the increased sensitivity but that wasn’t what was worrying her at the moment.

  Boone nodded at the soap spheres he’d handed her. “Go ahead, darlin’.”

  “Yes, I will. I’m going in right now.” Yet she remained frozen in place, memories washing over her.

  Shower day. The mechanoids come early. Round black metal spheres floating in mid air, red lights blinking, shock arms extended to herd you, to force you where they want you to go.

  The huge gray room. The stinging icy spray comes down from the ceiling. The water is laced with disinfectants and anti-bac agents that burn your eyes and throat. The other children in your birthgroup are crying, begging. Trying to huddle together but the non-con bracelets put a stop to that, don’t they? No touching allowed—ever. Shrieks and screams and cries, the burning pain of the steel-bristled scrubbers rubbing your skin raw. Arcing shocks run through the group like chain lightning, conducted by the freezing water as the non-cons send out painful proximity warnings…

  Purity but the memory was still so real. K could even hear the flat metallic voices of the mechanoids blaring above the frightened wailing, echoing over and over in her head. “Remain motionless during the shower cycle. Do not attempt to make contact with those to either side of you. Remain motionless during the…”

  “No!” It wasn’t until she saw the strange look on Boone’s face that K realized she’d spoken aloud.

  “Something wrong, darlin’?” he asked carefully.

  “Nothing. Just…thinking.” Squaring her shoulders, K took a step toward the shower stall. It really wasn’t so bad—nothing like the huge gray room of her memories. She tried to brace herself for the icy blast, tried to remember that she was no longer a frightened child but a fourth level Paladin. I fear nothing, I feel nothing. I fear nothing, I feel nothing. I fear nothing, I—

  “Stop.” Boone took her arm the second before she stepped into the shower. “K…” He turned her to face him. “K, what is it, darlin’?”

  “What is what?” she somehow managed to answer though her throat was so tight she could hardly breathe.

  “That look on your face. It’s like you’re about to step in front of a death squad.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. My emotions do not control me, even if I can’t help having them. Now if you don’t mind, I need to do this.”

  “Like hell you do,” Boone said roughly. “I don’t know why but this scares you to death. What are you afraid of?”

  K’s lips worked for a moment before she could get the words to come out. “Nothing. I fear nothing, I feel nothing.”

  Boone shook his head. “That’s not true and you kno