Targeted Read online

  It was as though she’d been searching for something all her life without even knowing it and when the big Kindred came into her world, she had found it—found him. Everything finally made sense—even the idea of the other taking over her body wasn’t as scary when she’d believed that he would be by her side to help her through it.

  Now she knew that wasn’t going to happen. Tragar would be leaving her—leaving in the most final way possible. She wondered dully how he planned to do it. Would he hang himself from the nearest convenient tree? Or maybe just shoot himself with his blaster?

  Ugh! She shivered and tried to push away the morbid thoughts but they wouldn’t go. All she could see was Tragar, dead by his own hand. All she could think about was never having his arms around her again, never getting the chance to explore this new emotion that was blossoming between them…

  Fresh sobs shook her and she pulled the pillow over her head, trying to muffle the sounds of her misery.

  Suddenly a warm hand came to rest between her shoulder blades and the pillow that was covering her face was pulled away. Emily grabbed it, trying to hang on. She didn’t want the big Kindred to see her like this, didn’t want to display her ugly emotions so openly. But Tragar was relentless, he pulled the pillow gently but firmly away from her face, exposing her tears.

  “Go away.” Emily buried her head in her arms. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “But I need to talk to you,” he growled softly. “I need to explain.”

  “Explain what? That you love me so much you’re going to kill yourself and leave me alone? I heard that already, I don’t want to hear it again.” Emily still refused to look at him.

  “No, I need to explain to you why I am not worthy of being your chosen mate. Why I deserve death.”

  “You know, I thought I deserved death. At least, I wanted to die.” Emily finally looked up at him. “After what Grayson did to me. After he raped me. I felt so ugly, so dirty—like I’d never be clean again. I thought about killing myself but I didn’t.” She sat up and glared at the big Kindred. “Because if I did that, he would have won. And I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. My only other option was to kill him, but I couldn’t do that either. So I learned to live with it.”

  “I sympathize with your wish to kill that bastard. I killed the ones who hurt me.” Tragar’s deep voice was distant…remote. “But it did not ease my pain.”

  “What? Who were they and what did they do? What happened?” Emily had a sudden flash of insight. “Does this have to do with your wife and son?”

  “Landra and Jalex, yes.” He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose briefly, as though trying to drive back a headache.

  “Did you get a divorce? Did she leave you and take him and you haven’t seen them since?” Emily asked, trying to read his face. But it was like trying to read a statue’s face—his expression was stoic and calm, as though he was a million miles away.

  “They were killed,” he said in a low voice.

  “Oh, Tragar!” Emily put a hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry—I didn’t know.”

  “How could you? I never spoke much of them to you—I try never to even think of them. It is…too painful.” He looked at her, as though seeing her at last. “But now I feel I must speak of them. I must show you what happened and how I failed them. Then you’ll see why I do not deserve the love of a Khalla.”

  “What do you mean ‘show’ me? Do you have a picture of them?”

  “I do.” He pulled something out of his vest pocket—a small, flat disk a little bigger than a quarter—and thumbed it on. Immediately the disk began to emit a low humming noise and a 3-D image of a young woman and a boy who looked to be about five or six appeared. Both of them had black hair like Tragar’s and the boy had his golden eyes as well. But the woman had deep indigo eyes thickly fringed with black lashes.

  “Oh,” Emily breathed. “She’s beautiful. Those eyes…”

  “Landra was one of the Ancient Ones who live in the Deep Blue on Rageron,” Tragar said. “But the grandfather tree her people lived in wasn’t far from my village. Our minds aligned when we were still children—it’s unusual but it does happen so sometimes.”

  “So you were childhood sweethearts?” Emily looked at the woman’s vivid blue eyes and laughing mouth. She looked like a happy person and the little boy who was leaning against her hip was looking up at her adoringly. Clearly she was a good mom.

  “I suppose you could say that,” Tragar murmured. “We mated very young—as early as our parents would allow it. Very soon after that, Jalex came along.” He motioned to the faintly glowing image of the little boy. “He was the light of our lives—so brave and smart for his age! He—” His voice faltered and for a moment, Emily thought he wouldn’t be able to go on.

  “Tragar,” she said softly. “You don’t have to do this. If it’s too painful—”

  “It is necessary,” he interrupted. “So that you can understand.”

  “All right,” Emily said in a low voice. She sat up straighter and Tragar settled beside her on the bed, still carefully holding the 3-D hologram of his wife and son. The fire bubbles in the fireplace had turned from blue to gold and the shifting flames alternately cast his strong features into light and shadow.

  His face never changed but his voice was different now, deeper and hoarse as though he could barely get the words out.

  “We were at war with the Scourge when it happened. Now they have almost all been wiped out but ten cycles ago the threat was very real. They were attacking the capital city about a hundred clicks from where we lived, Landra and Jalex and I. I was in command of a squadron of pilots—it was my duty to go and defend our planet from the vat-grown bastards.”

  “So you did what you had to do,” Emily said softly.

  He nodded. “I did what I thought was right at the time. Landra didn’t want me to go.” He closed his eyes tightly for a moment but kept talking. “You can’t tell it in this image but we had recently learned she was pregnant with our second child—a girl this time. She would have been a Khalla.”

  Emily bit her lip, wanting to say something but not sure what. After a moment, Tragar went on.

  “Landra had a bad dream—a warning. She was afraid that I wouldn’t come back to her and our children. That I would be killed in battle.” He gave a hoarse, bitter laugh. “Little did we know that the attack on the capital was nothing but a ruse—a ploy to draw our troops away from the area the Scourge really wanted to plunder—the Deep Blue.”

  “Um, what is the Deep Blue?” Emily dared to ask. “You mentioned it once before but I didn’t catch what it was.”

  Tragar pinched the bridge of his nose again.

  “Of course—forgive me. I forgot that you’ve never been to our home planet before. The Deep Blue is the Jungle that covers much of Rageron. It is wild and dense and filled with savage creatures. It is also where the Ancient Ones, the original inhabitants, of Rageron live. We Kindred came and mated with them as part of our genetic trade.”

  “Okay, I see.” Emily nodded. “And what did the Scourge want there?”

  Tragar shrugged his broad shoulders.

  “We never found out. There were rumors that they were after the pain vine—the skrillix which grows at the base of the grandfather trees which are huge, big enough to support entire towns in their branches. The skrillix has many strange properties and can be used to cause death and suffering.”

  “Sounds like something the Scourge would want.” Emily shivered. Though it had been several years since the Kindred finally neutralized the threat of the alien invaders, the very sound of their name still made her feel cold all over.

  “Whatever they wanted, they came for it while we were distracted defending the capital,” Tragar said in a low, grim voice.

  “Oh, no…” Emily put her hand to her mouth. “And the village you lived in—”

  “Was left untouched.” His free hand clenched into a fist on his knee. “Unfortunately, I had