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“But…I don’t want you to do that. To kiss me there,” Emily burst out at last. “I don’t.”

  He frowned. “Are you worried I might hurt you? Or are you uncertain because you’ve never had your pussy kissed before, my Khalla?”

  “It’s not that I’m afraid it might hurt—you seem to know how to touch me even when I can’t touch myself. It’s just…” Emily closed her eyes, unable to look at him. “Well, it’s not the first time someone wanted to…to do that. I had a boyfriend in high school—a guy named Jason. I never really had any sexual feelings for him…”

  “Because you had not reached your Tenrah yet,” Tragar rumbled.

  “Right, I guess. But he did have sexual feelings for me. I mean, he was a teenaged boy, right? So of course he did. And I wanted to keep him happy so I let him…try a few things.”

  Emily shuddered as she remembered the wrongness she’d felt when she allowed Jason to touch her. He’d been such a nice guy—so handsome and sweet, if a little bit clumsy—and she’d wanted so desperately to feel for him what he felt for her. But every time she let him grope her breasts or slip his hand under her skirt, the overwhelming waves of shame and repugnance would wash over her, so strongly sometimes that she could hardly sit still and let it happen. And then, that one night—the night he said he wanted to try something different…

  “You let him taste you?” Tragar asked quietly.

  Emily nodded. “I did. I didn’t want to but he wanted to try it so much and I was afraid he’d break up with me if I didn’t let him do it at least once.”

  “And what happened?” he asked softly. “How did it feel?”

  “Awful.” Emily couldn’t hold back the shiver that passed over her entire body. “So…so wrong. I mean, it wasn’t as bad as what Grayson did to me—Jason was never mean, he never held me down or forced me. But I remember just lying there, cringing and feeling so…so…”

  “Violated?” he suggested softly.

  “Yes. Exactly.” Emily nodded and found she was crying. She dashed the tears from her eyes angrily. “Violated…degraded…all that and worse. I felt like I was performing some sick, twisted act or one was being performed on me. And then I couldn’t stand it anymore and I pushed him away and he…”

  She shook her head, not wanting to remember. It wasn’t as painful as her memory of Grayson but it was no picnic either.

  “He what?” Tragar’s voice was a low, warning growl.

  “He didn’t force me or anything—not like Grayson,” Emily said quickly. “But he said I was frigid—he said he could tell that any time I let him touch me I was just barely enduring it. He asked me what was wrong with me and I…I couldn’t answer him. Because I didn’t know.”

  “How could you know?” Tragar asked reasonably. “His touch felt wrong to you because he was not your kind—because he was not Kindred. A Khalla can only bear such an intimate touch from her chosen mate. Your body rejected that other male because he was not right for you.”

  “I know that now.” Emily sniffed and blotted her eyes with the hem of the pale green petal shirt “And I know you only want to help me. It’s just…really hard to get over that memory. I think that experience is the reason it took so long for the, uh, the other to start making herself known. I didn’t have any sexual desire at all until I was in college and she started coming out. And of course, you know how that ended.”

  “I understand your pain and reluctance.” Tragar stroked a strand of hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. “Every male who has ever touched you has taken from you…has hurt you.”

  “Every one but you,” Emily whispered, daring to look up into his eyes.

  “And I won’t hurt you now.” He held her gaze with his own. “I know you have bad memories associated with this act and I swear I wouldn’t ask it of you if it wasn’t necessary. But Emily, I have to ask you to trust me. Can you do that?”

  “I…” She took a deep breath. “I guess I can try.”

  “Good. All I ask is that you let me kiss you just once, very gently.” He stroked her cheek, speaking softly and earnestly in that deep, growling voice of his. “Just once and if it feels wrong and bad in any way you can tell me to stop and I will.”

  Emily bit her lip, filled with uncertainty. On one hand, she really, really didn’t want him to do this. Her memories of this act were so bad and wrong and painful she could barely stand to acknowledge them, much less repeat the act that had caused them. On the other hand, Tragar had seemed to know, right from the start, what was good and right for her—for her body, anyway. He hadn’t steered her wrong yet and even when he’d gotten angry with her, he had never been rough or cruel. And now he was being so sweet and patient and gentle…maybe…maybe she could risk it.

  “Just once?” she asked fearfully. “And if I don’t like it you’ll stop?”

  “Just once—I swear it on my honor as a warrior.”

  The steady, honest look in his deep gold eyes decided her.

  “All right,” she whispered, nodding. “Just once. I’ll let you do it just once if you really think it will help.”

  “It’s the only thing that can help, my Khalla.” Tragar stroked her cheek again. “You honor me with your trust and with the gift of your body. I swear I will never treat you with anything but gentleness and respect.”

  “Thank you.” Emily was touched by his little speech. It was almost as though he was swearing a vow to her, one he intended to honor no matter what.

  “All right.” He rose from the floor and started reaching for some pillows. “Let’s get you more comfortable.”

  “What do you mean? What are you doing?” Emily looked at him uncertainly. He had pulled the large, square pillows from the top of the bed and was arranging them under her back and shoulders.

  “Getting you into position. I want you to watch as I do this—as I kiss you.” Tragar propped a pillow under her behind too, elevating her so that when she leaned back she would be in a semi-reclining position. “I think it will ease your mind somewhat if you can see what is happening.”

  “I…I’m not sure about that.” But she was already in position. And she had to admit it was probably better to see than to lie there in the dark with one arm thrown over her eyes fighting back tears and waiting for the awful sensation to be over. No, don’t think about that, she told herself quickly. Put it out of your mind. Tragar isn’t Jason and this isn’t high school. You’re going to be fine. If it feels bad he’s going to stop—he promised he would.

  “Are you comfortable?” Tragar had taken a pillow for himself and put it on the floor in front of the bed. He knelt on it now, looking at her seriously.

  “I…I guess so.” Emily still wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Was it going to be as bad as last time? She hoped not but she couldn’t help feeling tense inside—the muscles in her stomach were jumping and her entire body felt clenched tight like a fist.

  Please, she thought. Please don’t let it be too bad…

  As she watched, Tragar lowered himself to kneel before her. Emily had shut her legs when he got her into position—well, she’d shut them as much as she could bear to, anyway. Her pussy was throbbing by now—swollen with need she didn’t want to acknowledge. But she knew if she didn’t get some relief soon she would be in serious pain. Her body was crying out for something—something only Tragar could give her. If she could bear to let him do what needed to be done.

  “Gently, my Khalla,” he murmured, caressing the tops of her thighs with long, slow strokes of his warm hands. “Gently and slowly, I swear it. Please—open for me.”

  “All right,” Emily whispered. Slowly she let her thighs drift apart again, exposing her swollen pussy. God, it was so embarrassing how hot and wet she was! Her clit was peaking out of her pink folds as if begging for attention. She wondered if the Healing Kiss the big Kindred was going to give her would really make her feel better? She really hoped so—as long as she could stand it.

  “I’m just going to kiss the top of your mound first