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  “Of course not—don’t be silly!” I whispered breathlessly, feeling intensely vulnerable.

  North’s eyes were suddenly half-lidded as he looked down at me. “You really do have a pretty face, you know. Especially when you blush.” His voice rumbled through me where we were pressed together, making me bite my lip.

  “Come on, North, stop teasing,” I said, trying to make my voice sound normal and failing miserably. His big body felt so warm against mine and his spicy, masculine scent invaded my senses and made it hard to think. Close, so close. Close enough to kiss…

  “I’m not teasing this time. I’m telling the truth.” His fingertip brushed my cheek again softly. “Jameson,” he murmured. “Kris…”

  It was the first time he’d ever used my first name and it sent a jolt straight through me. “Yes?” I whispered back, unable to look away from his eyes.

  A look of confused frustration passed over his face. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t be thinking…feeling…”

  “Feeling what?” I could barely get the words out.

  “Maybe…maybe it’s because your hair’s so long and you need a haircut but you almost look like a girl,” he blurted.

  Immediately the illicit pleasure I’d taken in his soft words and even softer caresses turned to icy fear. “Let me up,” I demanded, writhing beneath him. “Now, North, I mean it!”

  “Fine.” He got up immediately, freeing me from the pin. We sat at opposite ends of the mat, staring at each other. I was breathing hard, as though I’d just run a mile, my pulse drumming dully in my ears.

  “I’m sorry, Jameson.” North ran a hand through his hair. “I’m, uh, not even sure why I said that.”

  “I’m not either,” I said stiffly. “And for your information, I can’t help…looking the way I look. Everyone in my family has delicate features. Well, except for my father. But the point is—”

  “The point is, I pinned you down and then called you a girl.” North frowned. “I’m really sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking. It’s just, your skin is so soft and you smell like…like flowers and apples, even after a workout like we’ve been doing.”

  “I stopped using those shampoo pellets ages ago,” I protested. “Now I only use yours.”

  “I know.” He looked frustrated. “But it’s like I said before—you still smell good. It’s just…confusing.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. “What is there to be confused about—I’m your friend and your roommate. That’s all, right?”

  “Yeah, of course.” He gave a quick bark of laughter. “Don’t worry—I’m not going all Kinky Hinks on you. Come on.” He got up and held out a hand to me. “Let’s forget about pins and do some self defense. That’s why we’re here in the first place, right?”

  “Right,” I said. Warily, I took his hand but North didn’t entwine our fingers or try to touch my cheek again. Instead he gave me a brisk hand up, lifting me almost on my toes as he pulled me to an upright position.

  “Okay,” he said shortly. “Let’s practice getting out of a choke hold. Now what if Broward or one of his idiots grabs you from behind?”

  For the rest of our time together we sparred without incident. But I couldn’t stop seeing his face so close to mine or hearing his words in my head. What had he been about to say when he called me by my first name? Was it possible that North might ever return my feelings for him? Surely not—he still thought I was a male and he’d made it very clear he had no interest in other males. But then, what had he meant by his comments? And why couldn’t I stop feeling the soft brush of his fingertips against my cheek?

  Chapter Eighteen

  My hopes that my handsome roommate might return my feelings were soon dashed to pieces like a delicate vase thrown against a stone wall. After our awkward self defense lesson, North began to distance himself from me. Not physically—he was still by my side most of the time, providing a mute but very obvious deterrent to Broward and his cronies and he still helped me get a shower every night. But emotionally, he was no longer there. He stopped talking to me, stopped laughing and joking. He even stopped asking for help in Inter-dimensional Calculus though I knew he still needed it.

  I wanted to ask him about it—about this new, silent barrier he had put between us—but I didn’t know how to begin. How could a male ask another male why he didn’t like him anymore without sounding, well…like a girl? If there was one thing I had learned at the Academy it was that males rarely spoke about their feelings. They seemed to prefer to keep them bottled up inside until they exploded. So I kept quiet and waited, wondering if there would be an explosion…or if North would be content to freeze me out of his life forever.

  The only person besides myself who noticed the silent treatment North was giving me was Wilkenson. After several long, miserable weeks in which I had almost forgotten what it was like to have a roommate who was also a friend, he finally mentioned it during dinner.

  “So,” he said casually as we sat together at the end of the third-form table and poked at the nearly inedible mush on our trays. “I noticed that tall, blond, and icy has gone into his shell again and apparently you’re not invited in. What brought that on?”

  “I don’t know.” I was too miserable to try and dissemble. “We were getting along really well and then he just…shut me out. I don’t know what I did to deserve it.”

  “Maybe it was something you didn’t do. Did you think about that? Hmm?” He raised one white-blond eyebrow at me pointedly.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, unable to hide the irritation in my voice. “What the hell am I supposed to be doing that I haven’t been?” Of course, back home in Victoria I would never have sworn in such an unladylike fashion. But either the crudity of the all male environment was rubbing off on me, or I was just too unhappy to care about propriety any more.

  “I don’t know, my little manikin,” Wilkenson drawled. “But I do know if the man I loved saved me from certain death and dismemberment, I would know how to show him some gratitude.”

  My heart leapt into my throat but I made my voice come out bored. “Come on, Wilkenson, you know it isn’t like that between North and me.”

  “Maybe not for you. But for him…” He shot a glance at North who was eating alone at the fourth-form table as always. “I’m not so sure.”

  “What are you talking about?” I demanded. “North made a point of telling me when I first came here that he’s not…”

  “Not like moi?” Wilkenson raised an eyebrow at me again. “It’s all right, Jameson, you can say it—I’m not offended in the least. And to be honest, Mister Manly over there is the last person I would think was light in his loafers. Except…”

  “Except what?” I had forgotten all about my mush now. I pushed the tray away and leaned across the table. “Well?”

  Wilkenson sighed, blowing a perfectly coifed white-blond curl out of his eyes. “Except for the way he looks at you. He’s always watching you, Jameson. I mean all the time.”

  I looked down at the table, feeling my cheeks beginning to heat. It was true. Even though North was silent and unresponsive, I could still feel those piercing blue eyes on me.

  Every time I felt him looking at me that way, I couldn’t help asking myself why. Was he beginning to suspect my secret? And what could I do about it if he was? I’d gone to the Academy barber to have my hair cut short again but even that hadn’t changed the way North watched me.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, still looking away. “It must be your imagination.”

  “Listen, honey, if I was going to imagine something about the aloof but undeniably gorgeous Ice Prince, don’t you think I’d image myself as the object of his affection?” Wilkenson demanded. “I’m telling you, he’s looking at you and there has to be a reason why.”

  “What then?” I demanded. “And don’t say it’s because…don’t say what you were implying before because it isn’t true.”

  Wilkenson shrugged. �€