The Academy Read online

  As the days wore on, I found myself trusting him more and more…and longing for his touch. He was often affectionate, putting an arm around my shoulders or pulling me close to give me ‘noogies’ which I enjoyed much more than I would have thought possible. I reminded myself that he was treating me like the male he thought I was but somehow every touch of his large, warm hand on my skin or hair sent my heart into overdrive.

  I knew North would never feel anything beyond friendship for me. After all, he thought I was male and he wasn’t attracted to other males. But sometimes it almost seemed as though he might return some of my unspoken feelings, especially when he teased me about my “pretty face” as he often did. Comments like that always gave me an equal measure of fear and delight. I couldn’t help loving the fact that he thought me “pretty” but I feared he might think I was too pretty to be male and find out my secret.

  And it wasn’t only my face that threatened to give me away.

  About a month and a half into the fall semester I was studying at the desk while North was lying on his bed reading. We were exploring a concept in Astro Navigation that I hadn’t encountered before and I was deeply engrossed in the contents of my tablet. So deeply engrossed, in fact, that I didn’t hear North come over until he was standing right behind me, looking over my shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” I looked up uncertainly as he leaned over the back of my chair. I could feel the heat from his big body radiating along my spine and his warm breath on the top of my head, ruffling my short hair.

  “Just seeing what has you so interested, shorty. You haven’t so much as twitched for the last twenty minutes.”

  Had he really been watching me for twenty minutes? My stomach fluttered but I kept my voice steady when I spoke. “I’m just going over this new interstellar flight concept in Astro Navigation. It’s fascinating—don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, just amazing. In fact…” I heard him take a deep breath and then another. “Hey…” His voice sounded funny. “How come your hair smells like flowers and…” Leaning down, he buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. “And apples. That’s weird.”

  I felt myself freeze in my seat. “It’s the shampoo I use, maybe,” I said, shrugging. “But I, uh, never noticed it having much of a smell.”

  “Well, it does.” He sniffed me again, sending chills down my spine before standing back to frown at me. “It makes you smell like a…like a girl.”

  Now my heart started pounding for a different reason. What if he somehow guessed my secret through scent alone? But that was impossible—wasn’t it? “Stop being a jerk, North,” I said, striving to keep my voice level. “I’m sorry if you don’t like the smell but everybody uses this kind of shampoo in Victoria.”

  “I never said I didn’t like the smell.” He pressed deeper into my hair and inhaled again, sending shivers of pure sensation down my spine. “In fact I do like it. Maybe…” He withdrew abruptly. “Maybe too much,” I heard him murmur to himself in a low voice.

  “What?” I demanded, turning to face him. My heart was thundering in my chest and my cheeks felt hot but I tried not to show my inner turmoil.

  North shook his head, a troubled look on his face. “Nothing—it’s nothing. But I think you’d better use my shampoo from now on. If any of the other guys catch a whiff of you smelling like you do right now, Broward won’t be the only one after you.”

  I thought about pointing out to North that he was the only person who really got close enough to actually smell me. But I didn’t. Because what if he stopped? I liked the casual touching that went on between us—the way he invaded my space on a daily basis. I didn’t want to do anything to end that.

  “Fine,” I said shortly. “I’ll use yours if it will make you happy.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded, frowning. “I think it would.”

  So that night during our early morning shower raid, as I had begun to think of my stolen showers, I used one of North’s shampoo pellets instead of my own. It had a dark, masculine aroma that reminded me of him and I relished the feeling of being surrounded by his scent. As usual, I washed my hair and used the excess foam to scrub my body before rinsing and toweling off. Once back in the room, I waited until North doused the light to change rapidly into my pajamas.

  I was just sliding under the covers, my hair still slightly damp, when he called to me in a low voice. “Jameson? Hey, come over here.”

  “Why?” I asked, but I was already in motion, sliding out of my bed.

  “Because. Here.” He clicked on the light again and patted the covers beside him.

  “What do you want?” I asked, settling where he indicated.

  North had a strange look on his face. “To smell you. Come here.”

  “What? No!” I protested but I didn’t struggle when he took me by the shoulders and brought me close. “North!” I gasped when he pressed his face to my still damp hair and then to the sensitive side of my neck. “What are you doing?”

  He pulled back, frowning. “How is that possible?”

  “How is what possible?” I demanded, trying to sound angry instead of breathless.

  “That you still smell good.”

  “Maybe I smell good because I just took a shower,” I said impatiently. “Did you ever think of that?”

  “No, that’s not what I mean.” He shook his head, looking frustrated. “You still smell…I can’t explain it.”

  “Then don’t try.” I left his bed and slid back into my own. “It doesn’t sound like it makes any sense anyway.”

  “No.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No, it doesn’t.”

  “Let’s go to sleep then,” I suggested. “We have to be up in three hours.”

  “Don’t remind me,” he groaned. “You’re right—time to get some sleep. G’night, squirt.”

  “Goodnight, North,” I replied.

  But long after his breathing had gone deep and even, I lay awake. I gazed into the darkness and trembled with equal parts fear and exultation.

  North, oh, North, I thought. If only you knew. If only I could tell you. But that could never be. Never, I told myself sternly. Because it wasn’t only my secret I was keeping—it was my beloved brother’s as well. And I had no right to betray him just because I was falling in love. No right to risk his wellbeing as well as my own.

  Forget about it, I advised myself. Stop thinking about North, stop feeling for him. Pretend you don’t care and eventually you won’t. Yes, that was the best thing to do.

  Firmly resolved to try and get over my schoolgirl crush, I rolled over and finally fell into a troubled sleep barely an hour before the alarm was set to ring.

  * * * * *

  Of course, my turbulent feelings for my roommate weren’t the only problem I had to contend with. There was still Broward and his band of bullies to worry about. However, after the dodge ball incident—as I had labeled it in my head—he actually began to pick on me a little less. It was as though drawing blood from me when he smashed me in the face with the hard-rubber ball had finally satisfied some barbaric craving of his. Or at least, assuaged it somewhat.

  I still had to be careful not to be alone with him and any time we had class together I could be sure of getting shoved or tripped at least once or twice. But I refused to rise to the bait or get upset. I had sworn to myself that the tears I shed after our first physical-fitness class together were the last Broward would get from me, and I was determined to keep that particular promise.

  Seeing that he couldn’t make me cry or get me angry with his constant harassment appeared to irritate and confuse Broward at first, but gradually he seemed to become bored with my determined indifference. In fact, his virulent hatred of me might have faded away all together in time…if Coach Janus hadn’t decided to teach a lesson on fencing.

  My heart leapt in my chest the day, about two and a half months into the semester, that I came into the gymnasium and saw a familiar sight. There was a rack in the middle of the large room a