Half Girlfriend Read online

  ‘You should have told me. We need not have played today,’ I said.

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ she said. She removed her hands from her face and smiled at me.

  It had been a week since my panel recommended taking Riya to my room again. ‘Make Bihar proud, else you don’t matter’ is what they had repeated to me all week. Today, I had the chance.

  ‘Hey, you want to rest in my room?’ I said.

  ‘Sneak in?’

  I played it cool. ‘Yeah. You rest. Take a nap. I can study, or will even leave the room if you want me to.’

  ‘You don’t have to leave your own room.’ She stood up.

  She had said I didn’t have to leave. It meant she had agreed to come to Rudra. Girls never tell you anything straight out anyway. You have to interpolate and extrapolate their responses to figure out what’s on their mind.

  I smuggled her in again. As I shut the door of my room, I knew my moment of truth had come. Make Bihar proud, make yourself count, I repeated in my head.

  Riya sat on the bed, legs extended straight.

  ‘Lie down,’ I said.

  ‘I’m not that sick. Just need to rest,’ Riya said and smiled. ‘I see you’ve cleaned up your room.’

  ‘Well, it’s still not as fancy as yours.’

  ‘It’s a room in my father’s house. How I wish I could stay in a hostel like you.’

  ‘Hey, would you like to change?’ I said, switching topics. ‘You said you were cold.’

  She had a change of clothes in her rucksack.

  ‘Where?’ she said. ‘I can’t use the bathroom here.’

  ‘You could change here.’

  ‘Ha ha, nice try, mister.’

  ‘I meant I could leave the room.’

  ‘Oh, really? Such a gentleman.’

  I had learnt to ignore her sarcasm. I shrugged.

  ‘I’m fine in these,’ she said.

  ‘I’m not,’ I said.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Those shorts. They distract me.’

  ‘These red shorts?’

  ‘Well, the legs, to be precise. The legs the shorts are unable to hide.’

  Riya laughed. She took a bedsheet and covered herself.

  ‘Here. Better, mister? Now what? You want to study?’

  Damn, I had lost my view.

  ‘Yeah. You’ll rest?’

  ‘Yes,’ Riya said and sniggered.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Like that’s going to happen.’

  ‘Of course it is,’ I said and turned away from her. I sat on the chair, switched on the table lamp and opened my sociology textbook.

  Riya sat on the bed. She seemed amused and somewhat stumped at me letting her be. A few minutes later, she lay down on the bed.

  ‘What are you studying?’ she said, her eyes closed.

  ‘Social uprisings in the early twentieth century.’

  ‘How are your grades?’

  ‘Not bad, but I’m no topper.’

  I went back to my book.

  ‘What do you want to do after graduation?’ she said. Girls cannot stand being ignored, that too for a textbook.

  ‘I’ve told you fifty times. Work in Delhi for a few years and then go back to Dumraon.’

  ‘Hmm,’ she said, her eyes still closed. She sounded like the nosey uncles who ask you questions only to dismiss your answers with a ‘hmm’.

  ‘Let me study, Riya. You also rest.’

  I didn’t have a strategy, but I did have an intuition on how to proceed. Don’t act too interested at first; she will just launch into a lecture.

  My curt responses puzzled her. I shut her up whenever she tried small talk. Finally, she grew quiet.

  ‘I’m tired,’ I said, after half an hour of silence.

  ‘I’m sleeping. Don’t disturb,’ she said. It was her turn to act pricey.

  ‘I also want to sleep.’

  ‘Stay there. I’m a patient. The patient is resting,’ she said, suppressing a smile.

  I shut my textbook. I went to the side of the bed and sat down.

  ‘Riya?’ I said, my voice soft.

  She didn’t respond, as if asleep. I lifted the quilt covering her. Her tiny shorts had bunched up even further. I couldn’t help but stare at her legs. She pulled the quilt back over her as a reflex. A girl knows she is being stared at, even in her sleep. I lay down next to her. I took care to have the least amount of body contact. I shared some of the quilt and shut my eyes.

  We lay still for two minutes. She turned to her side. Her nose poked into my right shoulder. Her hand touched my elbow. Even with my eyes closed, I felt her warmth next to me. I turned to face her, pretending to be asleep. Casually, I placed my left arm on her. She didn’t protest. My left hand touched her long hair. Her nose was now buried in my chest and I could feel her gentle breath on me. I slid my hand down her back and moved her closer towards me.

  She continued to sleep, or continued to pretend to sleep.

  I placed my leg over hers, my boldest move yet. The smooth bare skin of her leg touched mine. Electric sparks shot through me. I resisted the urge to kiss her. I let my hand slide further down her back. As I reached her lower back, her voice startled me.

  ‘Mr Jha,’ she said.

  ‘Yes, Miss Somani.’

  ‘This is not called sleeping.’

  ‘You can sleep.’

  ‘Oh, really? How do you expect me to with you all over me?’

  I laughed. I brought her closer and lifted her face. I tried to kiss her but she turned away.

  ‘Control yourself, Madhav,’ she said.

  She tried to extricate herself. I didn’t let go.

  ‘Why?’ I said.

  ‘That is what we agreed to.’

  ‘But why?’

  ‘Just. Oh my God, I just felt your. . . Madhav, let me go.’

  ‘Riya, come on.’

  ‘Can you just let me go? You are hurting me.’

  I let her go. She slid to the edge of the bed, away from me.

  ‘I want you.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Please let me.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You have to.’

  ‘What do you mean I have to?’ she said.

  She sat up on the bed. She glared at me, her posture stiff. However, I was too consumed with my own feelings to cave in at this point. I had waited and played the patience game for too long. I expected her to yield to me now.

  ‘What is your problem?’ I said.

  ‘What is your problem? I’m not a release for your horniness.’

  ‘I didn’t say you were.’

  ‘So why can’t you just stick to what we discussed? Nothing physical. Just close friends.’

  ‘That doesn’t work.’

  ‘Fine, maybe we can’t even be friends.’

  I couldn’t answer her. I had run out of strategies and clever responses. She stepped off the bed, straightened her clothes and picked up her rucksack to leave.

  Anger mixed with desire. I grabbed her hand.

  ‘You can’t just play with me. I’m not your toy.’

  ‘Toy?’

  ‘You are using me. Until another guy comes along.’

  ‘Whatever. You are trying to use me. Ruining a perfect friendship. Bye.’

  I pulled her close to me. She sat on the bed again, right next to me.

  ‘It isn’t a perfect friendship. I am not fully satisfied.’

  She didn’t like my answer.

  I bent forward to kiss her. She moved her face again.

  ‘Only once.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Please.’

  ‘I said no,’ she said, her voice firm.

  ‘I’m at my limit, Riya.’ I grabbed her shoulders.

  ‘Madhav, I haven’t seen this side of you. You are using physical force on me.’

  ‘I want to say something.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Deti hai to de, varna kat le.’

  ‘What?’

  I had sa