Wolfsbane Page 60


Ansel gazed at me. For a moment the dull cast of his face changed and I was looking at my brother again. “I knew it.” He almost smiled.

“I know you did.”

“I guess that’s worth something.” He sighed. “I did tell you I’d run away for Bryn. Maybe this is all my fault.” The corner of his mouth began to curve up. Then he frowned at me. “Did you ever love Ren? I thought you might. I mean, you guys obviously had a connection of some sort. Was it only because you’re both alphas?”

I shivered as raw, frightening emotions scampered down my spine. “I—”

Images danced in my mind, memories of Ren’s laugh, his face, his touch. I’d only admitted my love for Shay when I thought I would lose him. Now Ren was the one in danger. Was my need to save him about love too?

And then it was as if he were there, whispering to me. This is only about love. I could almost feel his breath on my skin.

When I didn’t answer, Ansel shook his head. “Never mind.”

He crawled across the bed, lying down. “So do you trust them?” he asked.

“The Searchers?”

“Yeah.”

“I think so,” I said. Not as much as I’d like.

“What will you do next?” he asked. “If you reunite with the pack tomorrow, what then?”

“Then we help Shay,” I said, still slightly lost in thoughts about Ren.

“Help him do what?”

“Save the world.”

“Is that all?” Ansel laughed, and this time it sounded real.

“Yeah.” I smiled. “That’s all.”

We both fell quiet for several minutes.

In the silence of the room my heartbeat was deafening. “Ansel, I think we should try.”

“Try what?”

“Turning you,” I said. “The Keepers always lie. They could be lying about this too.”

I watched the muscles of his throat work as he swallowed. “Do you really think so?”

I didn’t know what I thought, but I hoped with every ounce of my being that they had lied about this.

“They always lie,” I whispered.

He turned his head to look at me. “Okay.” His body was trembling.

When I shifted into my wolf form, he winced. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was to watch my transformation, so effortless, so natural, when that power had been robbed from him.

Ansel scooted up on the bed, watching me. I slowly lowered my muzzle to his forearm, ears flicking. I glanced up at him and he nodded. I bit him, fast and deep. He drew a quick breath. I caught the acrid scent of his fear.

I shifted back, reaching out to lift his chin so his eyes met mine.

“Bellator silvae servi. Warrior of the forest, I, the alpha, call on thee to serve in this time ofneed.”

All I could hear was the sound of our breathing, shallow and fearful, as I waited. I closed my eyes, hoping for the surge of power to move from me to Ansel, linking alpha and packmate. Squeezing my eyes tight, I spoke again; this time my voice shook.

“Bellator silvae servi. Warrior of the forest, I, the alpha, call on thee to serve in this time of need.”

Nothing. No magic twined in the space between us.

When I opened my eyes, Ansel was shaking his head. His own eyes were closed. A tear slid down his cheek.

“Bellator silv—”

“Stop,” Ansel croaked, his reddened eyes meeting mine. “Don’t.”

I didn’t know what to say. They’d really done it. Ansel’s wolf was gone, and I couldn’t bring it back. In that moment I hated the Keepers more than I ever had.

“Let me give you blood.” I choked on the words and realized that I was crying too. “You’re still bleeding.”

“No.” Ansel pulled off his shirt, tying it around the puncture wound in his arm. “I don’t want it.”

“Ansel—” I reached for him.

“I don’t want it!!” The fury in his gaze paralyzed me.

He slid down on the bed. His face had emptied of emotion, but his blank expression was more frightening than his anger.

“You should go,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. “You’ll need to sleep before tomorrow.”

“I won’t leave you.”

He reached into his pocket, pulling out the crumpled paper.

“Ansel, what is that?” I asked, trying to get a better look.

“Leave me alone.” His eyes rested on the dirty scrap for a moment before he gripped it in a tight fist, pressing it against his chest. “It’s from Bryn, okay? I managed to hang on to it while the Keepers had us separated.”

“Oh.” She must have written him a poem. My heart pinched and my eyes were burning. Did she have anything of him with her? My brother and my best friend, whose love I’d wanted to hide from the Keepers. Maybe it would have been better if they had run away together. Could that have led to anything worse than what was happening now?

Ansel rolled over, facing away from me. “Just go.”

I stayed at the edge of the bed, knees tucked up under my chin. When his long, steady breaths assured me he’d fallen asleep, I stretched out, careful not to touch him, resting my head on a pillow, still watching my brother sleep.

After a while he started to make sounds, soft mewling like a young animal in pain. It went on and on as he quaked and trembled next to me, stirring but never waking. I finally drifted to sleep, still listening to the soft cries manifested by whatever nightmares clawed at Ansel’s mind.

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