The Room Mate Page 42
“Why, Paige? I don’t understand.”
I swallowed and lowered myself into the seat beside hers. “I am so, so sorry, Allie. It just happened.”
Allie wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. “So last night—that was the first time?”
I cleared my throat. “No. It started before . . .” Pretty much right after he moved in, which meant we’d been sleeping together for much longer than I wanted to admit to Allie.
“But you weren’t even interested in dating. I tried so many times to get you out there more.” Allie sniffed again.
God, this was painful. I couldn’t tell her I’d fallen for her brother. Couldn’t even admit that to myself, because I was ninety-nine percent sure things between us were now over.
“I’m so sorry, Allie,” I offered again, my voice small as shame surged through me.
She hadn’t stormed out yet, so at least she was willing to hear me out. I guessed after twenty-plus years of friendship, she wasn’t going to just give up on me, as mad as she was, and there was some comfort in that.
“Can we please talk about this?” I asked. “Maybe go grab a cup of coffee?”
At least that would spare us the awkward moment when Cannon finally dressed and came out to join us. I didn’t think I was up for having to face him this morning too. Allie didn’t know it, but uncertainty swirled inside me over Cannon’s middle-of-the-night declaration.
The harsh light of day revealed the truth. Cannon had been drunk. It was the only explanation that made sense. He’d been through two tragedies in two days, losing his first patient and then his stepdad. He was out of his mind with grief, and he was intoxicated.
People said things like that when they’d been drinking. The I love you, man commentary shared between boozed-up friends was almost cliché. That’s all it was. I wanted to believe it was something more, but if he really was in love with me, he’d be out here right now dealing with the fallout, telling Allie that we were an item and not just a mistake.
He didn’t love me. I was there for Cannon in his time of need, and he was appreciative. Not if he hadn’t mentioned it today, especially not the way he’d looked at me when Allie was screaming. He looked like he wanted to get away from me as fast as he could.
Allie thought about my offer for coffee for a moment longer. I needed to get out of the house, whether she was coming with me or not. Finally, she nodded, and I grabbed my keys and phone before we headed out.
Once we were seated with two steaming mugs of coffee before us, Allie looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. Only I had no idea what to say.
Admit that I cared for him? Where would that get me? Maybe it was better to let her think it was a moment of weakness, purely physical between us. Hell, maybe it had been. The truth was, I had no idea what was going on inside Cannon’s head right now. I only knew that he hadn’t tried to come after me, hadn’t told Allie to get out and mind her own business.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” I said, apologizing again.
Allie shifted in her seat, crossing her legs as she studied me. “How long exactly have you been sleeping with my brother?”
“It started a little while ago. We’re friends, and then with us living together, it evolved into something more.”
“More as in . . . you care for him? You want him to make sacrifices and stay behind now?”
I shook my head. “I care about him, yes, but I would never make demands of him like that.”
Allie let out a deep exhale, her grip tightening around her mug. “I have no idea what to say, Paige. I never imagined a scenario where you were hooking up with my little brother behind my back.”
Embarrassment washed over me like a tidal wave. Unsure how to respond, I took a sip of hot coffee, burning the tip of my tongue. I was pretty sure that was karma.
I set down the mug in front of me. “What happens now?”
Allie’s gaze drifted out the window of the coffee shop to where pedestrians and college kids were navigating our still-sleepy city. “Honestly? I’m not sure, Paige. Seeing you two in bed together isn’t just something I can erase.”
I nodded. This wasn’t like the time I spilled marinara on her favorite white silk blouse. That was fixed with a visit to the dry cleaner’s, and then we were good again. I had a feeling this would take a little while. I’d broken her trust. I couldn’t just snap my fingers and make it all better.
“I need some time,” she said. “And I still need to talk to Cannon. Find out what the fuck the little dipshit was thinking.”
That made two of us.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Paige
Tears welled in my eyes, and I sank onto the couch as my legs gave out. Cannon had taken physical comfort from me in a time of stress. I’d wanted to prove his theory wrong and rack up a few orgasms in the process. We had both used each other. And now it was over.
But he’d crossed the line when he told me he loved me, made me believe he wanted to be with me. I was a quick lay, and that was all it was. Then why say all those things he could never take back? Why tell me he loved me? Those words on his lips had been the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard, everything I’d ever dreamed about, yet never hoped for.
My heart hurt. My body was sore from his rough, punishing thrusts. It was like there was no escaping, no forgetting even the smallest of details about last night. Except he’d forgotten the entire thing. He’d been drunk, I knew that, but I never imagined he’d forget such a crucial detail.